Unprecedented times, extraordinary opportunities

August 21, 2021 Gaspar Anastasi

Finding direction, Marriage, Success & victory

We are living in unprecedented times. Things we once took for granted are no longer the same. Covid-19 has changed so many ways in which we live, especially our relationships. Gathering with friends and family used to be such a natural part of life. Now everything we do revolves around our health and concerns about catching or transmitting the virus.

Despite all of the fear generated by the news media and social media, this is actually an opportune time for our marriages to grow stronger and flourish. Romans 8:28 says: “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

It’s all good

ALL things work together for GOOD. Can you see that happening in this season—with less time spent apart and more time together? It is a great occasion to strengthen your marriage, especially if you are intentional about it. Couples now have the time to communicate honestly and transparently in areas where they may have neglected each other previously.

You might discover that you have put other things ahead of your husband or wife. Recognize that God is giving us this chance to rediscover our love for one another and the reason we married in the first place. Of course, you have to want a better marriage. Many of us have grown apart without really knowing it. Outside interests, career pressures and even other relationships have robbed time and interest that once belonged to our mate.

The primary relationship

The most important relationship you have in life is with God. The second is with your mate. By God’s grace, He is giving us pause to put things back in proper alignment with Himself and each other. See the good in this season and not just the bad.

Nothing ever catches God by surprise. Even though God didn’t cause this pandemic, He can and will use it for our benefit, if we look at life through His eyes.

Unprecedented happiness

God’s destiny for couples is a happy and fulfilled marriage. So let’s use this pause to make a plan, before life as usual takes over again. Here are a few things you can do to start the journey to happiness and fulfillment.

1. Talk about it. Discuss ways you could both work to make your marriage better. Be intentional about it, allowing honesty and transparency without judgment or criticism.

2. Act quickly. Put into motion right away the few concepts you agreed to in Number 1.

3. Ask forgiveness. Look at ways you have neglected your partner and take responsibility for your actions (or lack thereof). Don’t blame-shift. Make sure to truly forgive each other from your hearts.

4. Pray for revival. Join your hearts together in prayer to re-ignite the love you once shared.

Restored hope

Over time, couples can become calloused toward each other. The small steps above can start the process of melting your hardened hearts and restoring hope.

Remember you have God on your side, but the devil against you. GOD IS GREATER, so start praying now for His grace over your marriage. Then watch Him do great things through you. In these unprecedented times, expect extraordinary blessings. It’s never too late to make your marriage great!

We would love to hear what steps you agreed on to bring life back to your marriage! Please comment below.…

Understanding God’s plan for you

August 14, 2021 Michele Anastasi

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Finding direction, Marriage, Success & victory

I had to laugh when a good friend read last week’s blog about Gaspar and me making a Vision Board. She said, “That’s fine for you ‘crafty’ people, but my husband and I aren’t the creative types.” Little did she know that the vision board we made was just one of the things we did at our annual Marriage Retreat in May. And 20 couples—both creative and non-creative types—had a blast doing it.

Gaspar & Michele’s vision board created during the 2021 marriage retreat

Maybe making a vision board isn’t your thing, but you shouldn’t let that stop you from coming up with a vision statement for your marriage.

Few couples ever think about their life vision or articulate it. In our society, life visions usually sound something like this: Get an education. Get a good job. Get married. Buy a house. Have children. Make more money. Buy a bigger house. Enjoy a nice retirement. These aren’t bad things to want and may very well be a part of God’s plan for you, but it’s not all He wants.

Wait, there’s more!

The Bible teaches us that we have a God who created each of us, then brought us together for a purpose—more than for just our own happiness. What would your marriage be like if you asked, “Father, what do you want our lives to accomplish for You?” Interesting thought, isn’t it?

Simply put, your life vision is what you’re living for, your ultimate purpose, what your life is all about. It can be summed up in one sentence, or it may be an entire page. The important thing is that it clearly states the purpose and goals of your life together.

Where to begin?

Talk

Start by talking about your mutual goals and dreams. I know, it can be a little difficult to be open about something so personal, even to a spouse. One partner may feel the other won’t understand or may be critical. But you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Pray

Finding A life vision obviously must involve prayer since we are seeking God’s plan for us. There are so many things that we can do and many things that need to be done. So we need God‘s guidance in what His plan is for us. Just ask Him and He’ll show you—maybe not the full plan all at once, but He’ll show you.

Write

There’s something about writing a life vision that solidifies it in you mind and lends it added importance. It also helps keep you on track when life gets hectic. Read it often and it will bring you back to your priorities and what you really want to spend your time on.

As you talk, pray and write, two questions may help:

1) Does this vision speak to who we are? (Does it fit our gifts and strengths?)

2) If we focus on these areas, will we feel that we’ve fulfilled our destiny? Your life vision starts out with who you are and the gifts and interests God has put in both of you. But it needs to end by benefiting and helping others.

Yours, mine and ours

You may be wondering, “How do we combine our interests when we have two very different calls?” Combining two life visions into one calls for creative give and take. It’s sort of a yours-mine-and-ours approach.

In our marriage, Gaspar does a wide variety of things in the ministry that I’m not involved in. Likewise, I do women’s ministry, Bible Studies and Life Coaching—things that he isn’t involved in. But then, together, we share this blog, our weekly marriage group, and marriage counseling and coaching.

Christian couples can make an impact in many places: Community programs, schools, businesses, hospitality, encouraging and, of course, the church, to name a few.

It’s bigger than you.

Studies have shown that one constant in the lives of couples with strong marriages is their mutual devotion to a cause or purpose beyond themselves. This was God’s original plan, and following His plans and principles will always lead to happiness and success.

If you would like more details on how to make a Vision Board or write a Vision Statement, just leave your request and email in the comment box, we’ll be happy to send it to you. …

Why your marriage needs a vision

August 7, 2021 Gaspar Anastasi

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Finding direction, Making positive change, Marriage

Many married couples never actually grow in oneness. Nor do they experience the true joy in marriage God intended. Why? They have no vision.

Proverbs 29:18 says where there is no vision my people perish. That literally means “my people accomplish nothing; nor have a real purpose in life.”

You have a purpose together

A vision acts like railroad tracks that your life runs on. It provides stability, direction, a known destiny and, most importantly, it provides purpose. Without these elements, a marriage will be—at best—stuck in a rut… going around in circles. At its worst—headed for destruction and divorce.

Make no mistake: Every marriage has a God-given purpose. The vision is simply one of the ways God speaks to us about our purpose. He brought you together for a reason. The vision reveals the direction and steps you are to take to fulfill His reason or purpose.

Ways to envision

Thoughts, dreams, imaginations and visual downloads of things yet to come… These are all ways that God reveals His vision for you as a couple. Now these visions will often seem impossible. That’s normal. If it were possible without God, it wouldn’t be from God. The Almighty specializes in the impossible, but He needs our cooperation. Our part is to believe and act in faith for what He shows us.

God always speaks the end from the beginning—showing us what our future could look like; giving you a vision for what it could be; and then encouraging you to act on the plan with Him by setting goals to get there. This requires you to spend time together praying and dreaming about what your marriage could be and, most importantly, what God truly wants it to be.

Create a vision board

A while back, Michele and I made up a vision board which expresses our envisioned destiny through pictures and words. We decided what we believed God wanted to accomplish through our marriage and then found pictures and words that expressed those God-inspired ideas. We then glued them on a large tag board so that we could keep God’s vision for our marriage before our eyes daily.

Remember, a vision is God’s road map that leads us to a chosen destination (a married life of success and fulfillment).

Fight, fight, fight

However, know this: Our enemy satan will do everything he can to keep couples at odds with each other and distracted with a cluttered life, so that we don’t reach God’s destiny for us.

Fight through all those distractions. And set aside time to come together with the purpose of hearing from God. Make it a priority. This act of agreement helps Him to download His vision for your marriage.

Start where you are

You might not see very far in the beginning, but start anyway. As you are faithful with what He initially shows you, God will increase your ability to hear and see even more of His destiny for you as a team. Remember, it will take the both of you to hear clearly what God has planned for your marriage.

As you journey into getting God’s vision for your marriage, let us know how it worked out. What were some of the obstacles you encountered, and how did you overcome them? Michele and I look forward to hearing from you!…

Drama in the airport

July 31, 2021 Michele Anastasi

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Marriage, Success & victory

The rude couple

A couple of weeks ago we were in the airport waiting for a flight. I can’t help it, but I’m an incurable people-watcher. Sitting directly across from us was a couple, mid to late thirties.

The husband went to get something to eat and a coffee for his wife. As she placed the coffee on the floor near her bag, he started ravenously eating his food—seriously, like a man who hadn’t eaten in a week. Food was falling everywhere and splattered her pants. As she tried to clean the food off of her, he just kept munching away.

I couldn’t help myself and my mother instinct said, “You better say sorry, or the rest of your day isn’t going to go well.” He ignored me and, shifting his weight in his seat, kicked her coffee all over her feet. She jumped up and headed to either the ladies room or to call her attorney. Can you believe he just looked at the mess and continued eating!

Another passenger, also watching, went for some paper towel… Finally the husband got the hint, stopped eating and attended to what was left of the mess. Wow! Where has care, kindness and even simple manners gone in today’s marriages?

If this were an isolated incident I probably wouldn’t be writing this. But being a people-watcher and traveling a lot, I see such bad behavior and downright rudeness in couples. I was so upset I started writing about what happened in my journal. I didn’t really think it would end up in this blog, but God knew and He already had the ending planned out.

The desperate couple

Several days later, there we were in the airport again. The last thing you want to hear after two flights and a long trip is that your bags are on another plane, and there will be a slight delay. So back to people-watching… You’d think I would have learned my lesson by now.

I didn’t hear this couple say a word, but I knew they were Christians. We started talking about the delay, making small talk. They were returning from a trip to see a new grandbaby. Asked if we had been on vacation, Gaspar shared about the church and that we were away writing new material for our Sacred Marriage group. That’s when they shared their story.

Up until a few years ago their marriage had been in deep trouble. They were going in separate directions, totally shut down to each other. Then, struck by a series of painful events with nowhere else to turn, they turned to the Lord. They leaned on Him, sought His will and, most of all, reconnected to Him as a couple. And in the process, Jesus transformed their troubled marriage into an awesome one.

What a different story from the other couple! I suddenly felt very sad that we hadn’t had the chance to tell them about the Lord. But since then, we’ve prayed for God to put believers in their path.

Every couple’s greatest need

The only way to have a healthy, thriving marriage is with Jesus. He is what every marriage needs at its center. If you let Him, God will give you the relationship you’ve always longed for. He will make a good marriage great; get a struggling marriage back on track; and bring a dead marriage back to life. He does what no one and nothing else can.

Marriages are hurting today more than ever. My husband and I feel the Lord leading us to take a slight detour with this blog and focus on marriage for awhile. We would love to hear your thoughts. Are marriages today changing? If so, why? Do you see changes in your own marriage? …