Take your marriage to the next level

June 20, 2026 Gaspar Anastasi

Marriage can be like an elevator, going up or going down quickly. One important variable that triggers this sudden rise and fall is our thought life. If you can get free in your mind and take control of your thoughts, you can change your marriage for the better in a very short time. I’m here to tell you: Discipline your thoughts, and you will take your marriage to the next level!

A deeper unity

The devil hates your marriage from the start, because a unified couple is his greatest threat. The Bible tells us that where two or three agree, God Himself shows up (Matt. 18:19-20). Satan greatly fears that, so he bombards us with negative thoughts almost every moment of the day. That’s why unity—even in how we think about each other—is crucial.

Unity involves more than a couple agreeing not to divorce. It’s more than sharing similar taste in food or clothes or homestyle. Superficial unity like that won’t hold the marriage together when storms hit. I’m talking about a deeper agreement that truly binds you together, making the two one. I’m talking about achieving oneness of mind and thought about each other and your marriage.

The Bible says where two or three agree, God Himself shows up.
Matthew 18:19-20

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Stop listening

Often we’re not even aware of the thoughts that are bombarding us moment by moment. And not every thought that passes through your mind is your thought. Too often, we listen to the devil’s messages about our mate. They come in unfiltered and unchecked; and these notions influence how we treat our husband or wife. Rather than God’s Eden, our mind can act as satan’s playground. When that happens, the elevator goes down swiftly.

We discipline our diet, our body, and any number of other things. Yet our mind, one of the most powerful life forces on earth, we let roam free. No matter how bad or good your marriage may be right now, your thinking is key to reaching the next level of joy and fulfillment. As a discipline, talk to yourself instead of listening to yourself. That’s how you push the up button.

Stop listening to yourself, and start talking to yourself instead.

Start talking

If you pay attention to what you’re thinking, it’s easy to discern where your thoughts originate and from whom. God wants your marriage to be successful, fulfilling and to re-present Him on this earth. Therefore, thoughts of kindness, empathy, forgiveness and unconditional love toward your mate proceed directly from Him.

Criticism, unforgiveness, hatred, jealousy, and condemnation all come from the devil. Every time you let such thoughts control how you view your mate, you push the down button on your union.

It’s time you stop listening to thoughts satan plants in your mind and tune in to the mind of Christ. Most importantly, speak God’s words to yourself. For a season, stop listening to yourself and start speaking instead. Discern what God is saying about you and your mate and speak His words; echo His sentiments.

Thoughts of kindness, empathy, forgiveness and unconditional love toward your mate come from God.

We all need to discipline our minds. And we do that by rejecting bad thoughts and choosing good thoughts instead. By doing that, you also declare war on satan. Filtering out demonic thinking and embracing God’s mind about your mate and marriage will immediately take your union upward.

So don’t let the devil push your relationship down. Mark my words: If you guard your thoughts every day and check negative ones at the door, your marriage will rise quickly. Choose today! Make Jesus lord over your thoughts, and you’ll automatically take your marriage to the next level!

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Maintain a well-oiled marriage

June 6, 2026 Gaspar Anastasi

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Marriage, Success & victory

Without God at the center, a successful, prosperous marriage is impossible. His presence is the oil that makes everything run smoothly. His strength and courage help us keep on keeping on even when things seem impossible. Without His presence being manifested, we are left trying to have a successful relationship—guided only by our faults, limitations, and past failures.

Without His presence being manifested, we are left trying to have a successful relationship—guided only by our faults, limitations, and past failures.

You and I are like Adam and Eve who walked away from God’s presence after choosing to do things their own way. Right away, this first couple recognized their nakedness and tried to hide behind fig leaves. This represents the shame of living in sin and apart from God.

Time for an oil change

God’s presence is like the engine oil that constantly lubricates all the various moving parts of your car. You see, when we’re dating and during the honeymoon phase of marriage, there’s plenty of natural oil flowing to help us overlook each other’s faults. All our moving parts (our quirks and unique differences) just work together—even creating joy, happiness, and great expectations for the future.

Once the oil runs low, however, all we can see is each other’s faults and imperfections. At best, married life becomes a struggle. At worst, it comes to a grinding halt. That annoying, fault-filled person lying next to you is the same one you fell in love with. But over time, our fig leaves wear thin, and we start seeing each other the way we’ve always been—flawed.

So are you rubbing each other the wrong way, creating friction that makes a breakdown inevitable? Most of us check our car’s engine oil regularly because we value our automobile and fear the price of letting it run out. Well, your marriage is much more valuable than your car (or should be).

Over time, our fig leaves wear thin, and we start seeing each other the way we’ve always been—flawed.

Like I said before, the oil of God’s presence is key to the success of your marriage, and it’s available free of charge 24/7 to all of us who recognize Him as a necessity. You can stop your marriage from coming to a screeching halt. Pouring in fresh oil will give your relationship new life and stoke the motivation to go higher and fulfill God’s purpose as a couple. But just like your car, you must be aware and intentional about giving your marriage the regular maintenance it needs.

Schedule maintenance

Recognize your need for God’s presence. Just think about how quick you are to dwell on your mate’s faults and how easily they annoy you. That’s a sure sign you need a fresh oil change.
On purpose, fill your marriage with God’s anointing. Set aside time to thank and praise Him for who He is and for your mate. You can do this alone or together. Suddenly, the oil will start flowing, and it won’t be long before the honeymoon returns. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.
Put God first by praying together and attending a corporate gathering where others value God’s oil in their lives. There’s just something special about getting filled with His presence corporately.
Keep a fresh supply on hand. Again, like your car, your marriage can die from friction. Fortunately, God’s oil is free and available. All you have to do is open up your heart and your marriage and invite Him in.

With God’s presence, nothing will be impossible for your marriage to overcome or accomplish. So why not add it today? It’s never too late to experience a revival in your relationship. In fact, this could be your best year ever! Your children and everyone else in your sphere of influence will be blessed by it!

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How to conquer conflict

May 23, 2026 Michele Anastasi

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Making positive change, Marriage

Don’t you hate it when you accuse someone of something, only to find out later they didn’t do it… and that someone is your spouse? Yes, guilty as charged! Gaspar and I were cleaning out our home office, which has four floor-to-ceiling bookshelves overflowing with books. We knew it was time to either move or pare down. We started going through the books and making piles: keep… give away… throw away.

Everything went smoothly until a week later when I realized our family photo album was gone. It had been on one of those bookshelves which was now greatly pared down. I looked everywhere, to no avail. So I knew the culprit had to be my darling husband… He must’ve mistakenly thrown it out, I thought. And the moment he walked in the door, the thought became an accusation. Oh yes, an argument ensued! …well, it was mostly me accusing him.

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have…..
James 4:1

What really causes arguments?

James 4:1 says, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have…..”

That’s right, James, I do not have my photo album, and I want it back! All my husband said was, “That doesn’t even make sense. Why would I throw out a photo album?”

My response? “You were probably rushing and didn’t even notice.” End of discussion. My husband (bless his heart) doesn’t argue. Several days later (I’m ashamed to say), I found the album and sheepishly apologized. But on the lighter side, my motto is: “Never let a good problem go to waste. Turn it into a blog post!“

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Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.
Proverbs 19:11, NLT

How to fix fights

So, my advice is: The next time you feel an argument coming on, stop and ask yourself if it’s worth undermining your relationship? Maybe it’s time to learn a better way. Here are a few points to consider:

1. Remember your spouse is not your enemy

Satan is a master of deception and, by getting you and your spouse at odds with each other, he hurts your relationship with God. Plus, he hurts your testimony with those who don’t believe in God yet.

2. Check your own actions

Before you blame your spouse, take a good look at your own words and actions. Consider how God would have you respond. “Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs” (Proverbs 19:11, NLT).

3. Make peace a priority

When the love and unity of your marriage is at stake, no argument is worth it. Consider Hebrews 12:14: “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”

4. Walk in Grace

Grace is all about overlooking wrongs. When we do that, we earn our spouse’s respect. They begin to think of us as generous and forgiving, which makes it easier for them to be generous and forgiving in return.

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
Hebrews 12:14

If it really bothers you…

You might be wondering how you can overlook something that really bothers you. You can’t… and shouldn’t. The key is how you speak and what you say. Remember, this isn’t an enemy you’re confronting with accusations. This is the person you love and chose to spend your life with.

Work at creating an atmosphere of peace in your home. Learn to overlook little annoyances. Not every issue has to be a major catastrophe. Focus on preventing conflict before it even starts. Talk to each other; encourage and praise each other. Let grace abound, and you’ll find you’re creating an atmosphere where conflict doesn’t grow.

We would love to hear what steps you agreed on to bring life back to your marriage! Please comment below.

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Relax. It’s hard on purpose.

May 9, 2026 Michele Anastasi

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Marriage, Relationship with God

As I was reading John 17 the other morning, Jesus is at the end of His earthly ministry. The cross looms before Him. It’s the last time He will be alone with His chosen 12. The words He shares aren’t for the whole world. They are for those who left everything to follow Him.

Over and over, Jesus speaks of His love for His disciples and how they are to love one another. Our Savior prays for Himself; He prays for His followers; He prays for those who were yet to believe—you and me. In verse 11, He prays for us to be one with each other just as He and the Father are one. Oneness is unity. Oneness is being like Christ.

…Holy Father, keep them in Your name, the name which You have given Me, so that they may be one just as We are.
John 17:11 (AMP)

I couldn’t help but think how this applies to marriage. I wondered, Do people see Jesus in my marriage? Multitudes have accepted Christ without ever reading a Bible or setting foot in a church, all because they’ve seen the reality of God in the lives of His children.

The point of trouble

Why is unity in Christian marriages so important? Because it has the ability to impact the world like nothing else. Believe me. People are watching—not only how we relate to each other, but—how we deal with everyday trials like big unexpected bills, inconsiderate family members, rebellious kids, a demanding boss, broken promises…. Funny isn’t it?

Like me, you’ve probably thought If I didn’t have all these problems, I’d be able to serve God better, not realizing our Father uses those very difficulties to draw us closer to Him.

Just like Jesus, we’re here in this world to testify that God is real, that the change He makes in us is real. We can’t live this Christian life without the power of His Holy Spirit. We can’t have a strong, godly, loving marriage without the power of the Holy Spirit making us one in spirit.

Trials and difficulties keep pulling us back to the cross (at least they’re suppose to).

Did you ever wonder why marriage is so difficult at times? Why it’s sometimes easier to be nice to friends and acquaintances than to your spouse and family? It’s probably because your mate often makes life difficult for you. Yet it’s through your spouse and closest relationships that God draws you into oneness with Him and each other.

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Without the Holy Spirit, we can’t do it. We can’t keep loving unconditionally, keep forgiving and staying in unity in our own strength. Trials and difficulties keep pulling us back to the cross… (at least they are suppose to).

One thing God hates

While in the store the other day, I saw two mugs sold together. One said Mr. Right, and the other said Mrs. Always Right. It reminded me of how our marriage started out. We fell head-over-heels in love. Soon we were planning our wedding. I’m sure some friends or family warned us that marriage isn’t easy, that we would have big adjustments to make. But we tuned them out and tuned in to our song—“Happy Together” by the Turtles (stop laughing).

So maybe like us, you became man and wife. Eventually, you had your first big fight. Disillusionment set in. Maybe those friends and family knew what they were talking about. Marriage began to put demands on you, and you weren’t so sure it was worth it. You started to wonder, Maybe we’re not as compatible as I thought… (and that Turtle’s song was stupid anyway).

We often agree to disagree and then totally support each other.

As I’ve shared before, Gaspar and I are total day-and-night opposites. Our opinions differ on everything. But, with the Holy Spirit, we’re in complete unity. Now being in unity doesn’t mean we have to agree on everything. We often agree to disagree and then totally support each other.

By contrast, I used to think Gaspar had to agree with me on everything because, after all, I was Mrs. Always Right. And I had to prove it to him one way or another. Oh, how God hates dissension! He hates anything that breaks unity.

He’s using your spouse

If He hates dissension, then why does God put opposites together? Because He expects your infuriating incompatibility to keep drawing you back to the cross, to die to self, die to pride, die to self-will, die to control and realize yet again you can’t have peace or unity in your marriage without the Holy Spirit.

If you’re married, rest assured that your spouse is one of the tools God will use to make you more like Jesus. So SMILE BIG… really big, and say, “God, will use my spouse to make me more like Jesus.”

I can’t hear you! “God will use my spouse to make me more like Jesus.”

Remember John 17. Jesus Himself is praying for us to be one. And, friends, it doesn’t get any better than that!

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You, me and Him

February 21, 2026 Michele Anastasi

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Marriage, Relationship with God

Marriage is beautiful. Marriage is diﬃcult. Marriage is wonderful. Marriage is hard work. Even the Apostle Paul told us “there’s trouble in marriage” (1 Corinthians 7:28).

Having said that, God created marriage to reﬂect His glory to the world. He also created it to help form us into the image of Christ. Here’s the shocker: Marriage isn’t meant to be easy. Dying to self and becoming sanctiﬁed is not easy. But God knows exactly what we need to grow, exactly what we need to get our rough edges smoothed oﬀ.

God knows exactly what we need to grow and get our rough edges smoothed off.

Naked and unafraid

All that was for free. What I want to talk about today is another spiritual discipline in marriage: Couple’s devotions. As Christians, we know the importance of daily devotions. In fact, some of you already have a personal devotion time each day, and that’s great. So what’s the point of couple’s devotions if each of you already have your own time with God?

Well, honestly that’s what I thought too until one day while I was reading Genesis 3:8. It says Adam and Eve heard the sound of the Lord walking in the garden and hid themselves because they were afraid. They were afraid because they had just sinned, and now they had to face God “naked and ashamed.”

When couples spend time together with God, it opens the door to deeper spiritual conversations, grows our faith and helps keep us in unity.

I have no proof, but it seems clear to me that Adam and Eve were quite used to God coming and meeting with them. I think it would be odd if God’s first visit came only after they had sinned. God walking with Adam and Eve suggests His close, intimate relationship with His children—which includes us. I got the revelation that God did this often, perhaps daily “in the cool of the day”. What was different this time is that they were afraid.

God wants in

Personal time with God is very important, but let’s not neglect the fact that God was in the garden because He wanted to spend time with Adam and Eve together.

When couples spend time together with God, it opens the door to deeper spiritual conversations, grows our faith and helps keep us in unity. It gives you and your spouse a way to spend special time together, talking about things that matter.

Any good habit—whether eating healthy, making time to exercise or saving money—takes time to develop. But it needs to start somewhere. It doesn’t have to be complicated to be valuable. There are so many good marriage devotionals to choose from. They usually start with a little anecdote about marriage, a couple of verses of scripture to meditate on, maybe a question to discuss and prayer for each other.

Your devotional time can be in the morning or evening, whatever works best for the two of you. Be flexible. Setting the goal for every day may be too much to keep up with at first. Perhaps starting with once a week would be better. Try that for a couple of months, then add another day. If you miss a week, don’t get discouraged, give yourself some grace, and pick up where you left oﬀ.

Power comes in pairs

Prayer is a very important part of your devotions. God speaks to us through His Word, and He also wants to hear from us in prayer. The Bible teaches us to pray on our own but also together.

Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.
Matthew 18:19-20

Years ago, Gaspar and I were praying individually for one of our children. It was a pretty serious situation, and we had been praying for about a year with no change. This was way before we started spending time with God together. I guess it was out of desperation that we started to cry out to God together. The answer we were believing for came one week later. That convinced us that there was definitely greater power when we prayed together.

God speaks to us through His Word, and He also wants to hear from us in prayer.

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Getting started

If you and your spouse haven’t prayed together before, it may take some time to feel comfortable. Start with each of you spending just a few minutes praying aloud and, before long, your prayer time will increase naturally.

Prayer is also a way to seek God’s wisdom together. As you pray and come into agreement on issues, it builds trust and strength in your marriage. Praying together reminds you that God is the source and center of your lives.

As you pray and come into agreement on issues, it builds trust and strength in your marriage.

And finally, as with all other spiritual disciplines you’re setting a positive example for your children. Prayer is a learned behavior, and your act of faith and trust in God is one that your children will learn by example. When your kids see their parents reading the Word and praying together, they will see the value you place on it and will practice the same habits.

Sample Devotion

This sample devotion was borrowed from author Michelle Peterson’s #Stay Married: A Couple’s Devotional (Althea Press, 2017) and edited for the purposes of this blog post.

Some recommended devotionals…

Newlywed Couple’s Devotional by Chris & Jamie Bailey

Preparing Your Heart for Marriage by Gary Thomas

Christian Marriage Devotional for Couples by Teri Reeves

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Leaving the past behind you

February 14, 2026 Gaspar Anastasi

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Marriage, Success & victory

Most marriage conflicts arise from one of three sources: 1) Past incidents that happened between you and your mate; 2) Things that offended you and never got resolved; or 3) Things that happened before you even met, but resurface repeatedly to torment you. It’s like having a deep cut in your hand that never fully heals. And, every time you bump it against something, it gets reinjured. Not only does the wound never heal properly, but it gets worse.

A stumbling block to growth

As I said, some past hurts didn’t even happen between you and your mate. They might have taken place before you met, but they were never resolved in your heart. As long as these offenses stay there, the devil will continually bring them back up. He will taunt you that your marriage can’t succeed or—worse—that you married the wrong person. Other times, your mate will remind you of someone who hurt you before. Regardless of where they originated, hurts from the past will always present a stumbling block that keeps your marriage from growing stronger.

As long as these offenses stay there, the devil will continually bring them back up.

Spot the source

Recognizing the source of your marriage conflicts will help you overcome them. But you must be transparent and let the Holy Spirit show you the roots of what you’re feeling during a conflict. Let Him show you why you feel angry, or betrayed, or rejected by your mate. I know that sounds risky.

We automatically think, “I’m blaming myself and letting him/her off the hook!” But a little self-examination allows the Holy Spirit to check your heart—just in case part of the problem is hurts you suffered in the past.

Share ownership

In all marital conflicts, we must both share ownership of the problem. When we point the finger at our spouse as the ultimate perpetrator, it never ends well. It will always put your mate on the defensive, causing more rejection and deep inner hurts.

It only takes one of you to recognize the warfare you’re in and trust the Lord to fight the battle.

Instead of finding a solution, instead of approaching the conflict together, it divides you more and creates a negative atmosphere going forward. The problem was only made worse—not resolved. As couples, we need to look inside ourselves with the help of the Holy Spirit, instead of just looking at our mate and finding fault with them.

When one or both of you humble yourself and listen to the Holy Spirit’s counsel—not only will there be hope for the conflict to end, but—healing to start between you both. I say “one or both” because it only takes one person to recognize the warfare he or she is in and trust the Lord to fight the battle.

Spend more time with the Solution

Spending more personal time with the Lord will give Jesus a chance to express His unconditional love through you.Being aware of your words and weighing them before you speak will give the Holy Spirit in you the advantage to overcome the devil’s plan. Realize that satan wants to sabotage your happiness and healing.

Spending more personal time with the Lord will give Jesus a chance to express His unconditional love through you.

Remember that your mate isn’t your enemy. You must break the habit of the dysfunctional way you both resolve conflict in your marriage. These are learned behaviors, picked up by watching your parents or others solve conflict ineffectively.

Get on the same team

Make a decision, along with your mate, to start over with conflict resolution. Agree that how you do it now doesn’t produce healing results or bring you any closer together. Then give each other the grace to make mistakes, ask forgiveness, and keep trying with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Remember you are on the same team. In just a few months, if you’ll both commit to see change (or if just one of you commits to it), you will start to see great peace in your marriage. Don’t give up! Nothing is impossible with Jesus. He equipped you to be successful and have dominion over your real enemy, satan. As a couple, decide to break the dysfunctional way you solve conflicts—and you will see change.

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