Unprecedented times, extraordinary opportunities

August 21, 2021 Gaspar Anastasi

Finding direction, Marriage, Success & victory

We are living in unprecedented times. Things we once took for granted are no longer the same. Covid-19 has changed so many ways in which we live, especially our relationships. Gathering with friends and family used to be such a natural part of life. Now everything we do revolves around our health and concerns about catching or transmitting the virus.

Despite all of the fear generated by the news media and social media, this is actually an opportune time for our marriages to grow stronger and flourish. Romans 8:28 says: “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

It’s all good

ALL things work together for GOOD. Can you see that happening in this season—with less time spent apart and more time together? It is a great occasion to strengthen your marriage, especially if you are intentional about it. Couples now have the time to communicate honestly and transparently in areas where they may have neglected each other previously.

You might discover that you have put other things ahead of your husband or wife. Recognize that God is giving us this chance to rediscover our love for one another and the reason we married in the first place. Of course, you have to want a better marriage. Many of us have grown apart without really knowing it. Outside interests, career pressures and even other relationships have robbed time and interest that once belonged to our mate.

The primary relationship

The most important relationship you have in life is with God. The second is with your mate. By God’s grace, He is giving us pause to put things back in proper alignment with Himself and each other. See the good in this season and not just the bad.

Nothing ever catches God by surprise. Even though God didn’t cause this pandemic, He can and will use it for our benefit, if we look at life through His eyes.

Unprecedented happiness

God’s destiny for couples is a happy and fulfilled marriage. So let’s use this pause to make a plan, before life as usual takes over again. Here are a few things you can do to start the journey to happiness and fulfillment.

1. Talk about it. Discuss ways you could both work to make your marriage better. Be intentional about it, allowing honesty and transparency without judgment or criticism.

2. Act quickly. Put into motion right away the few concepts you agreed to in Number 1.

3. Ask forgiveness. Look at ways you have neglected your partner and take responsibility for your actions (or lack thereof). Don’t blame-shift. Make sure to truly forgive each other from your hearts.

4. Pray for revival. Join your hearts together in prayer to re-ignite the love you once shared.

Restored hope

Over time, couples can become calloused toward each other. The small steps above can start the process of melting your hardened hearts and restoring hope.

Remember you have God on your side, but the devil against you. GOD IS GREATER, so start praying now for His grace over your marriage. Then watch Him do great things through you. In these unprecedented times, expect extraordinary blessings. It’s never too late to make your marriage great!

We would love to hear what steps you agreed on to bring life back to your marriage! Please comment below.…

Understanding God’s plan for you

August 14, 2021 Michele Anastasi

7 Comments

Finding direction, Marriage, Success & victory

I had to laugh when a good friend read last week’s blog about Gaspar and me making a Vision Board. She said, “That’s fine for you ‘crafty’ people, but my husband and I aren’t the creative types.” Little did she know that the vision board we made was just one of the things we did at our annual Marriage Retreat in May. And 20 couples—both creative and non-creative types—had a blast doing it.

Gaspar & Michele’s vision board created during the 2021 marriage retreat

Maybe making a vision board isn’t your thing, but you shouldn’t let that stop you from coming up with a vision statement for your marriage.

Few couples ever think about their life vision or articulate it. In our society, life visions usually sound something like this: Get an education. Get a good job. Get married. Buy a house. Have children. Make more money. Buy a bigger house. Enjoy a nice retirement. These aren’t bad things to want and may very well be a part of God’s plan for you, but it’s not all He wants.

Wait, there’s more!

The Bible teaches us that we have a God who created each of us, then brought us together for a purpose—more than for just our own happiness. What would your marriage be like if you asked, “Father, what do you want our lives to accomplish for You?” Interesting thought, isn’t it?

Simply put, your life vision is what you’re living for, your ultimate purpose, what your life is all about. It can be summed up in one sentence, or it may be an entire page. The important thing is that it clearly states the purpose and goals of your life together.

Where to begin?

Talk

Start by talking about your mutual goals and dreams. I know, it can be a little difficult to be open about something so personal, even to a spouse. One partner may feel the other won’t understand or may be critical. But you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Pray

Finding A life vision obviously must involve prayer since we are seeking God’s plan for us. There are so many things that we can do and many things that need to be done. So we need God‘s guidance in what His plan is for us. Just ask Him and He’ll show you—maybe not the full plan all at once, but He’ll show you.

Write

There’s something about writing a life vision that solidifies it in you mind and lends it added importance. It also helps keep you on track when life gets hectic. Read it often and it will bring you back to your priorities and what you really want to spend your time on.

As you talk, pray and write, two questions may help:

1) Does this vision speak to who we are? (Does it fit our gifts and strengths?)

2) If we focus on these areas, will we feel that we’ve fulfilled our destiny? Your life vision starts out with who you are and the gifts and interests God has put in both of you. But it needs to end by benefiting and helping others.

Yours, mine and ours

You may be wondering, “How do we combine our interests when we have two very different calls?” Combining two life visions into one calls for creative give and take. It’s sort of a yours-mine-and-ours approach.

In our marriage, Gaspar does a wide variety of things in the ministry that I’m not involved in. Likewise, I do women’s ministry, Bible Studies and Life Coaching—things that he isn’t involved in. But then, together, we share this blog, our weekly marriage group, and marriage counseling and coaching.

Christian couples can make an impact in many places: Community programs, schools, businesses, hospitality, encouraging and, of course, the church, to name a few.

It’s bigger than you.

Studies have shown that one constant in the lives of couples with strong marriages is their mutual devotion to a cause or purpose beyond themselves. This was God’s original plan, and following His plans and principles will always lead to happiness and success.

If you would like more details on how to make a Vision Board or write a Vision Statement, just leave your request and email in the comment box, we’ll be happy to send it to you. …

Why your marriage needs a vision

August 7, 2021 Gaspar Anastasi

2 Comments

Finding direction, Making positive change, Marriage

Many married couples never actually grow in oneness. Nor do they experience the true joy in marriage God intended. Why? They have no vision.

Proverbs 29:18 says where there is no vision my people perish. That literally means “my people accomplish nothing; nor have a real purpose in life.”

You have a purpose together

A vision acts like railroad tracks that your life runs on. It provides stability, direction, a known destiny and, most importantly, it provides purpose. Without these elements, a marriage will be—at best—stuck in a rut… going around in circles. At its worst—headed for destruction and divorce.

Make no mistake: Every marriage has a God-given purpose. The vision is simply one of the ways God speaks to us about our purpose. He brought you together for a reason. The vision reveals the direction and steps you are to take to fulfill His reason or purpose.

Ways to envision

Thoughts, dreams, imaginations and visual downloads of things yet to come… These are all ways that God reveals His vision for you as a couple. Now these visions will often seem impossible. That’s normal. If it were possible without God, it wouldn’t be from God. The Almighty specializes in the impossible, but He needs our cooperation. Our part is to believe and act in faith for what He shows us.

God always speaks the end from the beginning—showing us what our future could look like; giving you a vision for what it could be; and then encouraging you to act on the plan with Him by setting goals to get there. This requires you to spend time together praying and dreaming about what your marriage could be and, most importantly, what God truly wants it to be.

Create a vision board

A while back, Michele and I made up a vision board which expresses our envisioned destiny through pictures and words. We decided what we believed God wanted to accomplish through our marriage and then found pictures and words that expressed those God-inspired ideas. We then glued them on a large tag board so that we could keep God’s vision for our marriage before our eyes daily.

Remember, a vision is God’s road map that leads us to a chosen destination (a married life of success and fulfillment).

Fight, fight, fight

However, know this: Our enemy satan will do everything he can to keep couples at odds with each other and distracted with a cluttered life, so that we don’t reach God’s destiny for us.

Fight through all those distractions. And set aside time to come together with the purpose of hearing from God. Make it a priority. This act of agreement helps Him to download His vision for your marriage.

Start where you are

You might not see very far in the beginning, but start anyway. As you are faithful with what He initially shows you, God will increase your ability to hear and see even more of His destiny for you as a team. Remember, it will take the both of you to hear clearly what God has planned for your marriage.

As you journey into getting God’s vision for your marriage, let us know how it worked out. What were some of the obstacles you encountered, and how did you overcome them? Michele and I look forward to hearing from you!…

Discover the true you

January 16, 2021 Michele Anastasi

1 Comment

Finding direction, Uncategorized

Our blog on Life Coaching stirred a lot of interest. A number of you were curious about what kind of tools a coach uses. Actually, that depends on what area the client desires to work on. One tool we use if the client is unsure of where they’d like to start is the Wheel of Life Assessment. This exercise helps you see areas where your life is out of balance and where there’s need for change.

The first step is to rank your satisfaction in each of these areas of life from one to ten. The categories together create a picture of a balanced life for you. If necessary, you can split a category segment to add something that’s missing, or re-label an area to make the Wheel more applicable to your life.

8 Most Common Life Areas:

God: Your spiritual life
Family: Spouse, children, significant other
Work: Your career, ministry, volunteering
Finances: Budget, income, investments, retirement
Living Environment: Home, apartment, office, car, etc.
Personal Growth: What you do to learn and improve yourself
Health: Everything you do to take care of yourself
Community: Friends, social life, recreation

Using the Assessment:

Once the assessment is filled out your coach would discuss some of the following general questions with you and see which area you’d like to work on.

How do you feel about your life as you look at your Wheel?
Are there any surprises for you?
Which of these categories would you most like to improve?
What would make a lasting difference, not just a temporary one?
If making this change was easy, you would have done it already. What makes it difficult?

More specific questions if you chose one of these areas:

God

Describe your relationship with God. What is it like?
What do you aspire to in this area? What is your ideal?
What is the gap? What’s missing?

Family

What’s best about your marriage/family life? What would you most to like to see change?
Paint me a picture of what a great marriage or family life would look like to you.
What are you committed to in this area?

Work

What makes you satisfied/dissatisfied with your work?
What’s most important to you in a job? How well does your current job supply that?
What needs to change?

Finances

What led you to rank ‘Finances’ as a_______?
Give me a quick overview of what’s going on in your financial life. What’s got your attention?
What would you like to see change this year in your finances?

Living Environment

How do the things you own enhance your life? How do they detract from it?
What in your environment bothers you or drains your energy?
If you could make one change in your living environment what would it be?

Personal Growth

Where are you motivated to improve yourself or your abilities right now?
What one new skill would make all the difference right now in reaching your dreams?
What skills, attributes or areas do you want to develop this year?

Health (Self Care)

How’s your health?
What are you tolerating or coping with in this area?
Where do you need to take better care of your body, mind, or emotions?

Community

Describe your social life. How satisfied are you with that?
What do you want in a friend? Where are those kind of people in your life?
Tell me about the last time you planned some fun time?

Seeing these areas laid out before you with the ratings you’ve given them, should give you some idea of where you’d like to focus your efforts for change. Of course, many people come to coaching already knowing what they want to work on. Setting boundaries, dealing with obstacles, how to detox a toxic relationship, to name a few.

A take away assignment could be to brainstorm some actions to raise your satisfaction in the areas you scored lowest in, or would most like to improve.

I hope this was helpful and gave you some further insight into coaching. Maybe even some things to think about in your own life. If you have any questions, you can leave them in the comment box. I’ll be happy to answer.…

We have never been this way before.

January 2, 2021 Gaspar Anastasi

3 Comments

Finding direction, Success & victory

Joshua 3:3-5, “and they commanded the people, saying, “When you see the ark of the covenant of the LORD your God, and the priests, the Levites, bearing it, then you shall set out from your place and go after it.Yet there shall be a space between you and it, about two thousand cubits by measure. Do not come near it that you may know the way by which you must go, for you have not passed this way before.”And Joshua said to the people, “Sanctify yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do wonders among you.”

Joshua first spoke the words, “We have never been this way before” to the children of Israel. But I believe it is also a prophetic word from the Lord for us today.

A whole new era

I am sure you would agree with me that we have never experienced the things we are going through today. It’s obvious that we can no longer rely on what has been familiar to us or what happened before. Or even the way that God did things in the past. This is a whole new season for all of us!

That is exactly how the children of Israel must have felt as they were about to cross over into the Promised Land. But God didn’t leave them on their own. He gave them a strategy in Joshua 3:3. He told them to look for the ark and follow it.

Keep sight of His presence

Good news! God wants us to cross over too, and He is giving us the same strategy. Just as Israel had to focus on the ark, we must keep our eyes on the presence of God.

As we focus on God, we truly get to know Him, hear His voice and go after His voice. We’ll be willing to get out of our comfort zone and follow the plan He has given to us. He wants us to rely on Him, depend on Him and trust Him with all of our hearts.

The Lord told the priests and the people to cross over the Jordan River, which to us may not seem like an unusual command. But to them it didn’t make any sense. For much of the year, the Jordan River is shallow and only 40 feet wide. However, at that particular time of year, the river could have been a mile wide and maybe 30 or 40 feet deep.

Don’t get off the High way

God will sometimes move in seasons and in ways that we just don’t understand. If we could write the script, we would never do it this way. But the Bible says that God’s ways are not our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8, 9).

Because we have never been this way before and can’t rely on our past experiences, we must depend on the divine wisdom and guidance of the Holy Spirit. He will always lead us into a place of greater trust like He told the prophet Isaiah. “Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ Whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left” (Isaiah 30:21).

Be willing to cross over!

As we are obedient to God’s voice and keep our eyes on Him, He will take us safely to the other side. There is a promised land out there. And although we face unfamiliar territory, it’s an exciting time for all of us who are living for God!

Let’s be willing to cross over! Don’t be like those who stay on this side of the Jordan. Don’t just talk about and praise God for the promises, but never enter into the promises.

Determine to cross over and receive the great blessing and abundance God has for you. Trust Him. You have never been this way before!…

Do you know who you are?

December 26, 2020 Michele Anastasi

0 Comment

Finding direction, Finding significance in life

Today’s Blog is a little different than usual. We want to take this time to introduce the new Breaking Free Living Well offices in Fort Myers, FL. At Word of Life, we’ve counseled and prayed inner healing for thousands of people over the past 35 years, and God said it was time to take this very special ministry into the community and beyond.

We’re also adding a new component of Life Coaching which ties in perfectly helping people to, “Live Well.” We’ve wanted to do this for a long time, and I’m excited to share that we’ve recently received our Life Coaching certification. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Life Coaching let me explain what it’s all about.

Why would someone want Life Coaching?

Coaches help people to set and reach specific goals.
Coaches help in developing a closer walk with God.
Coaches walk with people through life transitions and other changes.
Coaches help stimulate and clarify vision.

Often a person may feel like something is missing in their life, but not know what that something is. One of the coach’s first tasks is to help a counselee become aware of what is creating that sense of dissatisfaction.

How is Coaching different from counseling?

Coaching is not for people who need to overcome painful influences from the past. That’s where inner healing prayer and counseling are invaluable.
Coaching helps you build vision and move toward the future.
Coaching is not about looking back; it’s about looking ahead.
Coaching is not about healing; it’s about growing.

What happens in Coaching?

Coaching is client-centered and goal-directed. Every coaching situation is unique, but usually coaches will begin by exploring the issues the person wants to change. In what areas do they want to grow? Christians in coaching may seek to determine where God appears to be leading them.

There is also the need for awareness of where the person is at present.

What are their strengths, weaknesses, abilities, spiritual gifts, interests, passions, values and hopes? Often the coach will use assessment tools to enable people to learn more about themselves.

Then comes vision. Coaches might assist in helping the person in formulating their life-vision or mission statement. Without a clear vision, people tend to drift with no direction.

Coaches will also help people set goals and plan ways to reach these goals.

When obstacles get in the way, coaches challenge, encourage and give accountability so the person can get past the obstacles and experience success. A coach can help you remove the blinders, allowing you to see what you may not recognize and give support as you move forward.

A Christian coach is there for you, prayerfully listening to your concerns and asking questions that will give you clarity on your situation, get you past roadblocks, realize your God-given potential, and challenge you to be your best. So let’s get started!

Location is no obstacle. We can counsel or coach you online using Zoom. Call (239) 244.3912 or visit BreakingFreeCC.com for more information on how you can benefit from Life Coaching or Counseling from our experienced and compassionate. team.…