How to be a person of influence

“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” I believe that this saying is very true.

We become frustrated when the people who are important to us don’t listen to or receive instruction from us. For a parent, it can be our children; for a teacher, our students; for a businessperson, our employees or colleagues. The bottom line is that people won’t take our advice if they don’t feel genuinely loved or cared for by us.

To be our most effective, we must first earn the right to speak into a person’s life.

Think about it. How do you react when people correct you? You may walk away feeling belittled. You may think: “He/she just wants to show how much smarter they are than me.” You may sense that they’re looking down on you, judging or trying to control you. If that is your perception, you probably won’t take to heart what they say.

In all fairness, the other person may really care and want to help, but because of some emotional disconnect, you end up shutting out their words from the very beginning.

Since the people in our lives will listen to us only if they know we genuinely care, here are…

Some simple ways to show caring:

1. Listen.

Before pouring out your wealth of wisdom or advice, ask him or her how things are going in their life or situation. Find out what’s on their heart and what they are going through. To be effective, we must earn the right to speak into a person’s life.

2. Become a good listener.

Don’t just stop at listening. Become a good listener. Make eye contact, responding with caring facial expressions and then well-chosen words. Your body language reflects your concern for their well-being. In fact, your body language often speaks louder than your words. And if the two contradict each other, the other person will pick up on that too.

3. Avoid Distractions.

Avoid distractions like texting, answering the phone or doodling during your time together. Such things send a wrong message, causing the other person to shut down before you even start. In fact, turn your phone off and put it out of sight. Send a message that you’re unavailable to all but him or her. Avoid sitting next to a window that looks on a busy area, so that the two of you can stay focused on your discussion.

4. Don’t rush.

Put aside enough time to truly hear their heart and to speak what’s on yours. Being a good listener takes time. However, be truthful about how much time you have available. You can always agree to another meeting to show that you really care and are willing to see their issue through to its conclusion.

It takes time, energy and commitment to genuinely care for someone, whether it’s a child, a spouse or a friend. What matters most is that we really care about one another. And this matters most to God! “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other… (Ephesians 4:32).” Once people know you care, they will also care enough to heed what you know.…

Direction trumps intentions

We often hear people voice their good intentions to change or better their life in some way. The fact is: Good intentions alone are not good enough! For instance, if you want to lose weight, but you eat lunch every day at the International House of Pancakes, it’s just not going to happen.

The direction you choose to follow will overpower your good intentions every time. If the direction you’re traveling is an ungodly path filled with lifestyle compromises, your good intentions will go nowhere.

Alter direction, alter outcome

If you follow dead-end directions, you will end up at a dead end. No matter how many positive thoughts you have and godly confessions you make—or how well-meaning—intentions alone won’t prevent the inevitable dead end. You must change directions in order to fulfill your good intentions.

We can spend a lot of time and energy fixing the problems we run into while we’re going in the wrong direction. But, no matter how beautifully paved the dead end road is, because it isn’t a godly path, it will still lead nowhere. And fixing the occasional pothole along the way won’t change the destination.

First, you need to repent for staying on the wrong road. Then decide to change your direction and get on a road that leads to God’s true success for your life. It isn’t that difficult to discover the right road or right direction, because you have people around you who have been traveling on that road for a long time.

The Apostle Paul said it this way in Philippians 3:17, “Brethren, join in following my example, and note those who so walk, as you have us for a pattern.” In other words, others have traveled on the right road, heading in the right, godly direction, and you have them as examples to follow.

Dead ends kill time

However, the longer you wait to change directions and go the right way, the harder it will be to do it. You hear people say, “I wish I had changed direction 20 years ago. Look at all the time I wasted traveling on a dead end road.”

Thank God for all your good intentions. But direction will trump good intentions every time. Why don’t you take the time to pull over to the side of the road and ask the Holy Spirit for direction. I believe He’ll reveal that your problems aren’t hindering your success in life. It’s your chosen path.

Don’t wait. Do it now!

Why wait another minute to get on the highway to success? Do it now! Have you ever gotten lost because you made a wrong turn or took the wrong exit? You know that the longer you travel in the wrong direction, the harder and longer it takes to backtrack, find where you went wrong and get on the right road.

It’s not too late or even impossible to make a u-turn. Take the time to humbly locate where you went wrong. Next, follow the map of God’s Word and let your Holy Ghost GPS lead you off the Road of Good Intentions and on the Superhighway to Success! Good directions will always trump good intentions!…

Breaking destructive life cycles

We’ve all developed bad habits that we wish we didn’t have to keep dealing with. I’m talking about bad habits that have eventually led to destructive cycles. Living with a critical spirit, an unforgiving heart, a poor self-image, gossiping, losing your temper, overeating, being lustful, etc. are all behaviors that set up destructive cycles and patterns. These cycles are detrimental to our success and especially detrimental to our witness as a Christian.

Mistakes we make

One of the great dangers of not breaking these deadly cycles is that we mistake activity for progress. We convince ourselves that staying busy for the Lord is a sign of our Christian maturity. Wrong!

Another danger is if we try to change, but repeatedly fail and slip back into the same destructive life cycle, we give up trying. Then we make excuses and allowances for them. The worse thing we can do is make excuses for wrong attitudes and fleshly appetites and continue on as though we’ve dealt with them.

Keep it simple

I propose a biblical method that God guarantees will break those destructive cycles in your life forever. It’s so simple that we excuse it because of its simplicity. In fact many of you reading this are saying to yourself, I know if it’s too simple it can’t work. You’ll stop reading and shut yourself down to God’s guaranteed method to break destructive cycles.

We humans like to intellectualize everything and make it complicated, so when we do accomplish them we feel like we have achieved something. God, on the other hand, makes things so simple. He only requires that we have faith in His methods; so when it’s all said and done, He’s the one who accomplished something in our lives—not us. He tells us in Zechariah 4:6b, “Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ Says the LORD of hosts.”

Speak life!

Here it is…. are you ready to break the destructive and deadly cycles in your life? Change your speech patterns! We’ve all heard Proverbs 18:21many times before: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Well it’s true; you are the sum total of all the words you have spoken over your life for years and all the words others have spoken over you that you believed.

Changing what you say about yourself will eventually cause change in you and set you free from those destructive cycles. Yes, it’s really that simple! So, pick one area where a destructive cycle is manifesting and think about what you’ve been saying that’s brought you into agreement with it. If it’s self-worth, have you been saying or agreeing with words that put you down, belittle you, call you a failure or a mess up? When anything goes wrong, do you always say it’s because of you and nobody else?

Change course

After you discover what confessions have contributed to those destructive cycles do the following:

1. Repent to God for demonically inspired words by breaking any agreement with Satan and his plans for your life.
2. Receive God’s forgiveness and forgive yourself for saying them and repeating them over your life.
3. Release what God says over you. Seek God’s plan for your life and replace Satan’s plans by confessing God’s word instead. Remember, your mouth speaks what’s in the abundance of your heart. Keep filling your heart and mind with God’s words, not what your temporary circumstances say.
4. Break the curse of those destructive words you’ve been confessing over your life. Say, “I break the curse of all the words (name them) I’ve said that have caused this destructive cycle in my life.” And say, “I replace those words with this blessing (God’s word) over me. I declare that I’m blessed.”

That’s it! It’s that simple. Oh yes, you must guard your mouth and not speak those negative things again. If you do slip back, quickly repent and repeat the above process again. Within one month’s time you will be free from those destructive life’s cycles in your life. Try it, God guarantees it.

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