Posts by Gaspar Anastasi

Highway

Your way or the High way

March 21, 2026 Gaspar Anastasi
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unity in marriage, unity with God

A lot of things can go wrong in marriage, but there is one sure solution to every problem we face: God’s love. It is the supernatural power of God that has been deposited in the heart of every born-again Christian. Then why are there so many divorces in the Church? Sad to say, but there are statistically as many divorces among us as there are among non-Christians.

God’s love sees only good

So what is the problem? For one thing, many of us aren’t living out of our spirit where God’s power dwells. Instead, we act and react primarily out of our soul (feelings and emotions). We get offended easily and are quick to build walls between us. Many of our marriages have become like the Dead Sea in Israel: totally stagnant and lifeless. The Dead Sea lets water in, but not out. So every living thing in it dies. Likewise, many Christian couples received God’s love shed abroad in their heart the moment they accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior. But they are not releasing His love to each other and, in many cases, their marriages are dying. 

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

—Isaiah 55:9

Let me define this all-powerful agape love: It’s God’s love. Notice it’s, first of all, Father God’s love—not yours or mine. We don’t produce it, but we carry it in our born-again spirits.

Secondly, it’s supernatural in the sense that it is unconditional and unlimited. That means it is not determined by your mate’s behavior, responses and mistakes. Agape love only sees the good in your spouse and their God-given value. Agape love can’t be turned off.

Your maximum is within reach! Schedule an appointment today with Michele, our certified Life Coach at 239.244.3912 or visit BreakingFreeCC.com.

God’s love heals

When released toward one another, agape love brings healing wherever needed. The word of God says His love, whenever applied, never fails to bring healing, unity, peace, forgiveness and wholeness to marriage. Remember, it can only flow from your born again spirit, which means we must be aware of living out our daily lives from our spirit not just our soul (feelings and emotions). 

This supernatural love is available to every Christian marriage. But, sadly, very few of us tap into it. One reason is that we don’t know we have it. But there is another more sinister reason we don’t love like God loves, and that’s selfishness. The husband and the wife each want their own way. We lose sight of God’s plan for us which is true oneness and unity, and which occur whenever we as a couple release God’s presence and power. However, many of us are willing to forgo this wonderful gift of unity just to have our own way. 

Many of us are willing to forgo this wonderful gift of unity just to have our own way.

God’s love is unbeatable

It does take crucifying our flesh, dying to our own ways and choosing God’s way. There is nothing that arises in your marriage that God’s love flowing through you can’t overcome. You must choose to be in touch with your spirit every day. And that can happen only by connecting with God by reading His word and praising Him daily. 

There is one other major factor to successfully walking in God’s agape love: Being baptized in the Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit who sheds God’s love in our heart, and it is the Holy Spirit that empowers us to release His unconditional love to our mates every day. Loving someone unconditionally and continuously without the baptism of the Holy Spirit is like trying to put out a five-alarm fire with a bucket of water. By contrast, the baptism of the Holy Spirit is like a forceful stream of water from a high-powered hydrant. 

God’s love comes only from Him

You can’t produce the God-kind-of-love with your own willpower. Only the Holy Spirit can effectively release it through your life. You have it, but are you letting it flow every day? Or are you letting the little foxes spoil the vine of your marriage? Do you find that, instead of overcoming daily problems and enjoying each other, you’re steeped in bitterness… on the verge of separation… even divorce? 

Don’t live married single lives! Start tapping into God’s unconditional agape love. It will radically alter your attitude, behavior and even your desires when it comes to your marriage. It’s up to you, because God has given you the greatest power known to mankind, and that is His own love. Instead of fighting for your own way, choose HIS way.

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Bringing back the spark

March 7, 2026 Gaspar Anastasi
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Healing in marriage, Relationship with God

Just like your walk with God, your marriage will go through phases. When we first met Jesus we were consumed with His love. He was our everything. Jesus was all we wanted to talk about, the only One we wanted to spend time with every day. But as time went by, the newness faded, other responsibilities grew, and intimacy began to take a backseat.

In Revelation 3, Jesus warned the church that they had left the most important aspect of their relationship with him—their first love. Even though they were still doing good things in His name, their passion for Him was the most important aspect of their relationship with Him. There was a danger that, if the passion wasn’t restored, they could lose relationship with Him altogether. What was the solution? He instructed them to repent before it was too late and return to their first love.

I want to show you how you can bring the passion, intimacy and first love back into your marriage.

Marriage is much the same. Our first love fades with time and circumstances. Many couples end up living together as married singles. That simply means each mate does their own thing with little or no intimacy and passion for the other. Or they just continue to be distant, which leads to divorce. Now if that’s you, don’t lose hope. There is a solution. I want to show you how you can bring the passion, intimacy and first love back into your marriage.

1. Shift your mindset.

There is a misconception we have about passion in our marriage: It should be effortless. It should just happen when the moment and circumstances are right. The truth is that getting that spark back takes deliberate effort on our part. Even if you’re not on the same page, one of you can make a difference. But it must be the right kind of effort.

We must prioritize our connecting together, our playfulness and novelty. Passion isn’t just about sex. It’s about energy and anticipation between the two of you. You both need to create anticipation by doing these few things. Why? In the early days of your marriage, you looked forward to seeing each other.

You need to shake things up. Do the little things again like sending a romantic text from time to time; planning a surprise date night; or simply start kissing each other out of nowhere.

Do you notice negative life cycles physically, emotionally or financially? Take initiative! Attend this FREE Workshop on Sat., March 21st at 10am. Register at (239) 244.3912. It’s at Word of Life Church, 6111 South Pointe Blvd, Fort Myers, FL 33919.

Break the habit of doing the same thing over and over again. Our emotions crave new things. So try something new together, whether its traveling somewhere different or exploring some new hobbies together. Just find creative ways to break your usual routine. You need to put in some time and effort to accomplish this. Let me tell you: It is really worth it. When your first love kicks in, it will be like a second honeymoon phase that will last for the long-term in your marriage.

You both have deep desires to be needed, loved and accepted. Those simple moments will disarm the devil’s strategy to separate you.

2. Listen to each other.

Make quality time to share and listen to each other’s conversations. It goes deeper than just asking, “How was your day?”.  Allow your hearts to be vulnerable with each other by expressing your deep feelings.

You will discover that your mate also has some of those same emotions and feelings. It is amazing how shared emotions will bring you closer together emotionally. I believe you will realize that you aren’t that much different. You both have deep desires to be needed, loved and accepted. Those simple moments will disarm the devil’s strategy to separate you.

3. Repent.

Repent of letting grass grow under your feet in your marriage. Choose to live out of that first love in your marriage. And it is a choice. Keep in mind that nothing is impossible with God. No matter how impossible it may look right now, know that you can re-ignite that spark. You can return to your first love. It’s not to late! 

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couple in conflict

Leaving the past behind you

February 14, 2026 Gaspar Anastasi
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Marriage, Success & victory

Most marriage conflicts arise from one of three sources: 1) Past incidents that happened between you and your mate; 2) Things that offended you and never got resolved; or 3) Things that happened before you even met, but resurface repeatedly to torment you. It’s like having a deep cut in your hand that never fully heals. And, every time you bump it against something, it gets reinjured. Not only does the wound never heal properly, but it gets worse. 

A stumbling block to growth

As I said, some past hurts didn’t even happen between you and your mate. They might have taken place before you met, but they were never resolved in your heart. As long as these offenses stay there, the devil will continually bring them back up. He will taunt you that your marriage can’t succeed or—worse—that you married the wrong person. Other times, your mate will remind you of someone who hurt you before. Regardless of where they originated, hurts from the past will always present a stumbling block that keeps your marriage from growing stronger. 

As long as these offenses stay there, the devil will continually bring them back up.

Spot the source

Recognizing the source of your marriage conflicts will help you overcome them. But you must be transparent and let the Holy Spirit show you the roots of what you’re feeling during a conflict. Let Him show you why you feel angry, or betrayed, or rejected by your mate. I know that sounds risky. 

We automatically think, “I’m blaming myself and letting him/her off the hook!” But a little self-examination allows the Holy Spirit to check your heart—just in case part of the problem is hurts you suffered in the past.  

Share ownership

In all marital conflicts, we must both share ownership of the problem. When we point the finger at our spouse as the ultimate perpetrator, it never ends well. It will always put your mate on the defensive, causing more rejection and deep inner hurts.

It only takes one of you to recognize the warfare you’re in and trust the Lord to fight the battle.

Instead of finding a solution, instead of approaching the conflict together, it divides you more and creates a negative atmosphere going forward. The problem was only made worse—not resolved. As couples, we need to look inside ourselves with the help of the Holy Spirit, instead of just looking at our mate and finding fault with them.

When one or both of you humble yourself and listen to the Holy Spirit’s counsel—not only will there be hope for the conflict to end, but—healing to start between you both. I say “one or both” because it only takes one person to recognize the warfare he or she is in and trust the Lord to fight the battle.

Spend more time with the Solution

Spending more personal time with the Lord will give Jesus a chance to express His unconditional love through you.Being aware of your words and weighing them before you speak will give the Holy Spirit in you the advantage to overcome the devil’s plan. Realize that satan wants to sabotage your happiness and healing.

Spending more personal time with the Lord will give Jesus a chance to express His unconditional love through you.

Remember that your mate isn’t your enemy. You must break the habit of the dysfunctional way you both resolve conflict in your marriage. These are learned behaviors, picked up by watching your parents or others solve conflict ineffectively.

Get on the same team

Make a decision, along with your mate, to start over with conflict resolution. Agree that how you do it now doesn’t produce healing results or bring you any closer together. Then give each other the grace to make mistakes, ask forgiveness, and keep trying with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Remember you are on the same team. In just a few months, if you’ll both commit to see change (or if just one of you commits to it), you will start to see great peace in your marriage. Don’t give up! Nothing is impossible with Jesus. He equipped you to be successful and have dominion over your real enemy, satan. As a couple, decide to break the dysfunctional way you solve conflicts—and you will see change.

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The power of encouragement

The power of encouragement

February 7, 2026 Gaspar Anastasi
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Relationship with God

In marriage as in life, it’s easy to ridicule each other’s weaknesses and faults, to pour cold water on your mate’s enthusiasm. The world is full of discouragers. But as Christians, we have a duty to love and encourage one another just as God encourages us. Often, just receiving a word of praise, thanks, or appreciation from my wife has kept me on my feet and given me strength to fight through life’s difficulties.

Be otherly

Because human beings tend to be self-centered, criticism comes as naturally to us as flying does to an eagle. In fact, our selfishness makes it easier to criticize than to encourage. We can discourage our mate daily without considering the damage our words and behavior create. When our focus is mainly on self, we don’t think about the other person’s feelings—only our own. 

I encourage you: Strive to be “otherly”. Find ways to edify or lift up your mate with your words and behavior. The very thing that you need from them you will receive once you give it. It’s not all about you. It’s really about God and your relationship with your mate. 

We live in God’s kingdom which is upside-down. The world says “Take what you need and put yourself first.” But God says, “Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over… For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you” (Luke 6:38). It’s the law of sowing and reaping. We reap what we sow. 

Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over… For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.

Luke 6:38
woman and man hugging
Your willingness to sow kindness and encouragement will reap amazing results for your marriage!

Sticks and stones

The old saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” simply isn’t true. That’s why I have made it a habit to carefully evaluate my communication pattern to avoid negative and critical speech. But my technique includes not just my words, but also my tone of voice and actions. It’s possible to say one thing with our lips and relay an entirely different message with our behavior. Bottom line: Our heart has to be right with God before it can be right with our mate. “For out of the abundance of the heart [our] mouth speaks” (Matt. 12:34). When we fail to encourage, when we’re critical, we slowly chip away at the foundation of our own marriage. 

For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

Matt. 12:34

You might have been raised that way. Maybe your parents used negative words to motivate you to do what they wanted. So, without realizing it, you brought that same detrimental behavior into your marriage. Think how much your parents’ hurtful words didn’t motivate you, and they won’t work on your spouse either. Instead, they built walls between you—maybe even to this day. If you see those same walls rising between you and your mate, it’s time to make a change. 

Thorns into roses

Your willingness to sow kindness and encouragement (to be otherly) will reap amazing results for your marriage! To get you started, here are some edifying words to insert into your daily communications with your mate. 

  • I appreciate you because __________________
  • I admire you for __________________
  • Thank you for __________________
  • You made me feel loved when __________________
  • I like being with you because __________________  
  • You look terrific in that __________________
  • I’m so blessed that you’re my ___________________

Just sprinkling words of kindness like these into your marriage daily will radically transform your relationship from a patch of thorns to a bed of roses. You’ll need the help of the Holy Spirit to remind you and instruct you how and when to say them.

Bad habits take time to break, but it’s worth the effort. Make yourself available to hear from the Holy Spirit. This right turn toward encouragement and away from criticism will start you on a journey to jubilee—the recovery of everything that has been lost from your marriage or stolen by the enemy. Trust me, it works!

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2 babies hugging

We not me

January 24, 2026 Gaspar Anastasi
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Relationship with God

When we marry, we all must adjust our thinking from “me” to “we”. In the past, our decisions centered on what blessed me and what was better for my life. We didn’t think about what was good for our mate. Rarely did we ask ourselves “Will this decision work for the both of us?” It’s a natural human tendency to be selfish and self-centered. 

Remember, Jesus taught his disciples to pray “Our Father who art in heaven”. God is not only my Father, but your Father as well. In other words, if my prayers and desires are just about me, He won’t answer them! If what you are asking won’t bless your mate as well, He will turn a deaf ear. Why? Because selfishness is not the will of God. 

If my prayers are just about me, He won’t answer them!

It takes Him

It took a few years to change my view of marriage from how it could benefit me to how it could bless us. The closer God drew me to Himself, the more I recognized my own selfishness. Changing our thinking from “me” to “we” will drastically cut down on the many conflicts we face. In fact, I believe that many of our marriage problems would disappear completely. This adjustment in thought and lifestyle will also point out our need for more of God’s presence in our lives. 

This shift from me-thinking to we-thinking requires Him. Only the Holy Spirit can help you to accomplish this goal. Couples, after all, are more than roommates. Your partner must be included in every decision you make. When the Holy Spirit wakes us up to start making choices with our mate in mind, it creates an atmosphere where God’s presence can dwell. 

This is a powerful revelation you need to—not only grasp, but—live out. You don’t need to force your mate to join you. It will become a revelation to them when you consistently live the “we-not-me” married life. Just live it out, and watch how life changes for the better in a very short time. It doesn’t need to be a point of discussion, but a transformative action on your part. 

When the Holy Spirit wakes us up to make choices with our mate in mind, it creates an atmosphere where God’s presence can dwell. 

Marriage Coaching
Make an appointment with one of our amazing marriage coaches at 239.244.3912 BreakingFreecc.com

Self in action

One husband I counseled had decided to buy a very expensive recreational vehicle—without first discussing it with his wife. He thought, “Now that I’m retired, I’m gonna travel and enjoy my life!” However, he didn’t want his wife’s opinion to influence his decision. And traveling the country in an RV was not her idea of a good time. In fact, it was the opposite of what she wanted to do. But he couldn’t see how self-centered his decision was.  

Obviously, his choice created a major conflict in their marriage. Not only that, his RV put them both in great financial debt. It wasn’t his wife’s choice, but he made that decision anyway and it created a great division. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it were just this one decision. But this choice is just one example of an on-going lifestyle of “me-not-we”. 

Unity starts with u

Now take a few minutes and reflect on how you have been living your married life. Has it been all about me—and not us? Do you have a lot of conflict because you’re not getting what you want or doing it your way? Has bitterness crept in because you feel your mate doesn’t care about your thoughts or feelings? 

Living like roommates isn’t what we sign up for when we marry, but many couples do just that. We…. It only takes one person to change, and he or she will cause the whole marriage to shift from me, myself and I. It is worth the effort to examine your heart, and let God make you more like Him. Your happiness and fulfillment as a married couple depends on it. 

One person can shift the whole marriage from me, myself and I.

This one revelation can change your life. Even though marriage is a team effort, this transformation must start with you. And it needs to start right now! Reading this blog should raise some conviction in your heart. Will you allow the Holy Spirit to take you to the next step: repentance? Repent of your selfishness in your marriage. Be honest, and let God help you become the best marriage partner your mate could ever have. You won’t be sorry, and neither will they. Start right now and don’t put it off until tomorrow. It’s never too late to make your marriage great!

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Couple holding hands on bible

God’s delay is not His denial

November 29, 2025 Gaspar Anastasi
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Making positive change, Marriage

Waiting for God to answer our prayers is one of hardest things we face in life—and marriage. We all want Him to see our needs and respond immediately. But it rarely happens that way. When our “suddenly” doesn’t come, we may start to doubt God’s love. That’s because we base His love on the outcome rather than on who He is.

God is love, and everything He does (or doesn’t do) is because of that Love. We wrongly expect God to think and respond like us. Meanwhile, Isaiah 55:8 clearly tells us “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.

Our Father’s love language

We all have a love language that makes us feel special and valued. My wife’s love language is words of affirmation. When I affirm her with my words, she feels my affection more strongly than a thousand I love you‘s.

God’s love language is trust. When you and I try to pull Him down into our understanding and our time frame to get the answers to our crisis situations, we reveal our lack of love for God. We need to ask the Holy Spirit to help us see what God the Father is doing or not doing in our marriage and line ourselves up with Him, instead of trying to fit Him into our natural understanding. God’s delay is not His denial.

When we patiently wait for God to answer our prayers, He receives our love.

Because God’s love language is trust, when you and I patiently wait for His answers to prayer, He receives our love.  And many times, His answers are delayed. What is God doing during those times?

Settle it in your heart that God’s love for you is unconditional. It’s always there being poured over us, even when we don’t feel or see it.

Take your marriage to the next level! Sit down with Pastor Michele Anastasi, our Certified Christian Life Coach, to gain new vision and direction for your marriage. Call (239) 244-3912 or go to BreakingFreeCC.com.

The power in waiting

When God does answer our prayer, the answer isn’t only to benefit us. It is to benefit our mate as well. Seeing prayer through His eyes helps us get out of our selfcenteredness. Often, God invests the “wait time” in changing our hearts and ridding us of selfishness. If we ever get past the “what’s in it for me” mentality, we may see how the answer to my prayer can and should  benefit my mate and our marriage. That transition is the beginning of your maturity as a husband or wife. And your value to your mate and your marriage increases exponentially.

Unfortunately, many of us live like married singles where it’s all about “me” —not us. We easily get annoyed with God when He doesn’t respond in our way and our timing. That causes a breach between us and Him. Our Father holds the key to our marital success. His love cannot be forced into our time frame and it cannot be manipulated for our own selfish purposes.

Often, God invests the “wait time” in changing our hearts and ridding us of selfishness.

Above all, God’s love should never be measured by the outcome. Because of His love, God may not answer your prayer at all. Or His answer may come when it seems “too late”. But that doesn’t change the fact that God loves you and wants to bless you, your mate, and ultimately your marriage.

God gets the glory

When Lazarus was sick, his sister Martha called for Jesus to come right away, before he died. But because Jesus loved Lazarus, He waited two more days to come. “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.  So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was,” (John 11:5, 6). 

The God of the Universe finally showed up 4 days late! The Bible tells us “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). But His weeping had nothing to do with Lazarus’ death. God cried because Lazarus’ sisters Martha and Mary, whom He also loved, didn’t trust Him.

It was Jesus’ plan all along to raise Lazarus from the dead. His “delay” powerfully impacted—not just Lazarus and his sisters, but—all the people around them. Because Jesus lingered and didn’t come immediately, the people witnessed the glory of God. His delay caused many to believe and follow Him from that day on.

Never doubt the fact that God loves you. He honors your mate and your marriage. But it’s not just about you. Trust your Father to bring about the best possible outcome in His timing. God’s delay is not His denial.

If this blog has been a blessing to you, please comment below.

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