Don’t look back

Every day that God blesses you to be married is a gift. But if you are always looking back on yesterday’s failures, how can you fully enjoy this wonderful gift of God? Failure is not the biggest problem we face in life, but not understanding why we failed is. Not knowing will keep us repeating the same mistakes over and over, which leads to boredom and stagnation.

The great news is that your marriage has a purpose! But if you’re both going around and around like a ferris wheel, you’re not growing and fulfilling the purpose for which God brought you together. If you’re just going through the motions and the fire you once had has gone out, you’re not alone. But don’t worry or give up. Let’s talk about how to restart the fire and feel fulfilled again. 

God didn’t make a mistake

Start by recognizing that God didn’t make a mistake by putting the two of you together. He knew that you were a world apart, and yet He brought you into each other’s lives by design. Accept your mate’s differences instead of trying to change them into a little version of you. That is a major first step in re-lighting the fire in your marriage. 

In our early years of marriage, I tried to make Michele more like me—and she did the same thing. That didn’t work out so well. In fact, our efforts brought us to the brink of divorce. Eventually, we were filled with the Holy Spirit, and He revealed that it takes two to become one. You need what your spouse has, and it’s something you could never attain alone. 

Seeing your differences as a plus and not a minus, a blessing and not a curse, will revolutionize the way you look at your marriage. Just think: You never could have fulfilled God’s ultimate purpose for your life alone. You need your marriage partner, and he or she needs you. That revelation alone should radically change your view of your mate from one of resentment or annoyance to great appreciation and thankfulness. 

God designed us so that we need someone different from ourselves or even completely opposite. Every day you both have an opportunity to fulfill God’s purpose: To change and be more Christ-like. You can thank your mate’s differences for helping you accomplish that. 

Eventually, we were filled with the Holy Spirit, and He revealed that it takes two to become one.

Celebrate God’s gift

Instead of rejecting your better half and complaining about how much trouble they cause you, celebrate them by expressing your love to them and thanksgiving for them. No matter what they do or don’t do, focus on the fact that God designed them as a gift specially you. 

So what! You’ve made mistakes along the way. Like I said, failing doesn’t make you a failure. The strongest, most successful couples you know experience moments of failure in marriage. Giving up is simply not an option, especially because we have Jesus living in us and the Holy Spirit empowering us to see our marriages correctly. 

Choose to see your mate through the eyes of God.

Choose to see your mate through the eyes of God. That might just cause you to repent and ask their forgiveness for the way you have treated them and taken him or her for granted. Remember, your marriage partner is your best asset to fulfill God’s plans and purposes for your life—something you couldn’t have done yourself. 

So stop looking back and letting the devil tell you that your marriage was a mistake and your life is ruined because of it. Close the door on satan, and open the doorway of your mind to God. Now take hold of the precious gift God has given you, and love them with all your heart.

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Take your marriage to the next level

Marriage can be like an elevator, going up or going down quickly. One important variable that triggers this sudden rise and fall is our thought life. If you can get free in your mind and take control of your thoughts, you can change your marriage for the better in a very short time. I’m here to tell you: Discipline your thoughts, and you will take your marriage to the next level!

A deeper unity

The devil hates your marriage from the start, because a unified couple is his greatest threat. The Bible tells us that where two or three agree, God Himself shows up (Matt. 18:19-20). Satan greatly fears that, so he bombards us with negative thoughts almost every moment of the day. That’s why unity—even in how we think about each other—is crucial.

Unity involves more than a couple agreeing not to divorce. It’s more than sharing similar taste in food or clothes or homestyle. Superficial unity like that won’t hold the marriage together when storms hit. I’m talking about a deeper agreement that truly binds you together, making the two one. I’m talking about achieving oneness of mind and thought about each other and your marriage.

The Bible says where two or three agree, God Himself shows up.

Matthew 18:19-20

Stop listening

Often we’re not even aware of the thoughts that are bombarding us moment by moment. And not every thought that passes through your mind is your thought. Too often, we listen to the devil’s messages about our mate. They come in unfiltered and unchecked; and these notions influence how we treat our husband or wife. Rather than God’s Eden, our mind can act as satan’s playground. When that happens, the elevator goes down swiftly.

We discipline our diet, our body, and any number of other things. Yet our mind, one of the most powerful life forces on earth, we let roam free. No matter how bad or good your marriage may be right now, your thinking is key to reaching the next level of joy and fulfillment. As a discipline, talk to yourself instead of listening to yourself. That’s how you push the up button.

Stop listening to yourself, and start talking to yourself instead.

Start talking

If you pay attention to what you’re thinking, it’s easy to discern where your thoughts originate and from whom. God wants your marriage to be successful, fulfilling and to re-present Him on this earth. Therefore, thoughts of kindness, empathy, forgiveness and unconditional love toward your mate proceed directly from Him.

Criticism, unforgiveness, hatred, jealousy, and condemnation all come from the devil. Every time you let such thoughts control how you view your mate, you push the down button on your union.

It’s time you stop listening to thoughts satan plants in your mind and tune in to the mind of Christ. Most importantly, speak God’s words to yourself. For a season, stop listening to yourself and start speaking instead. Discern what God is saying about you and your mate and speak His words; echo His sentiments.

Thoughts of kindness, empathy, forgiveness and unconditional love toward your mate come from God.

We all need to discipline our minds. And we do that by rejecting bad thoughts and choosing good thoughts instead. By doing that, you also declare war on satan. Filtering out demonic thinking and embracing God’s mind about your mate and marriage will immediately take your union upward.

So don’t let the devil push your relationship down. Mark my words: If you guard your thoughts every day and check negative ones at the door, your marriage will rise quickly. Choose today! Make Jesus lord over your thoughts, and you’ll automatically take your marriage to the next level!

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