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Posts by Gaspar Anastasi

husband lifting wife

It’s not what it looks like

September 18, 2021 Gaspar Anastasi
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Marriage, Relationship with God, Success & victory

A great marriage takes a lot of work. Too many people give up when the going gets tough. And by doing so, they miss out on the tremendous blessing that God has designed for them as a couple. 

We hear a lot of negative things, especially today, about how bad it is being married. But you don’t hear very much about the good that a godly marriage produces in a person’s life. The problem is: We look at marriage through a wrong lens. It’s really not what it looks like. 

What’s happiness got to do with it?

The same erroneous viewpoint that dominates the world today also dominates our marriages. This view tells us that the main goal of marriage is “happiness”. Happiness comes, and happiness goes. Therefore, starting off a marriage with happiness as the goal will ultimately lead to disaster. It’s not that happiness is a bad thing, but it is dependent on so many other factors in the marriage going right. 

Starting off a marriage with happiness as the goal will ultimately lead to disaster.

Because we are two different people, we will invariably rub each other the wrong way. Happiness during those times is usually the last thing you will experience. But that doesn’t make your marriage a failure—not unless happiness was your main goal. 

Discover a greater love

Call today for marriage counseling or coaching in person or via Zoom.

Working out our differences and resolving conflict in our marriage with the help of the Holy Spirit not only produces a greater love and respect for one another but, in the end, it bears the fruitfulness of happiness. 

So happiness can come and go throughout years of marriage. That’s because of the need to develop oneness and spiritual growth in our lives and in our mutual bond. So maybe our definition of happiness needs to change, because it’s not what it looks. 

Happiness in God’s eyes is two people learning to put Him in the center of their lives and union. It happens when, as a couple, we put the interest of our mate and our marriage before our own and gain the capacity to be selfless—not selfish. 

Happiness is not what it looks like through our natural understanding: Me first and you second. The thinking that goes “As long as I am happy, then and only then do we have a good marriage—no matter how you feel”. That thinking is absolutely wrong. It even sounds kind of ridiculous but, honestly, that’s how most of us live. So how can we turn this around and line ourselves up with God’s concept of happiness?  

The beauty of shared values

First of all, we need to decide what our values are and how necessary they are in our ability to enjoy a happy marriage. Understand that happiness isn’t a value, but the result of having defined values that both of us agreement with.

Understand that happiness isn’t a value, but the result of having defined values that both of you agreement with.

Let me list some of the values that are in our marriage. 

Value #1: Our relationship with God is our top priority—not only individually but also—as a couple. So Michele and I pray together, study together, teach together, go to church together…. All these shared values produce a lot of happiness in our lives. Can you see how knowing and applying your values create boundaries in your marriage which produce the fruit of happiness? 

Let’s talk about another value that Michele and I share that greatly enriches our marriage. It is the value of honoring one another. 

Value #2: Honoring each other includes understanding our likes and dislikes, our interests, wants and needs. This value hinges on communication which brings us into a greater oneness with each other. And unity produces the fruit of happiness. 

Again, notice how happiness isn’t the main goal, but living together with shared values produces a high level of happiness. Can you see that? 

Define your shared values

What are your values? Can you list at least 3 that you and your spouse agree on and are striving to live out? What do you think it would take to change your focus from pursuing “happiness” to pursuing godly values as your road map to a successful marriage? What do you think is the greatest stumbling block to accomplishing that?

Why not take a moment to comment? We love to hear from you.…

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loving couple

Priority number two

September 4, 2021 Gaspar Anastasi
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Marriage, Relationship with God

Marriage should be the second highest priority in our lives as Christians. “What is my first priority?” you ask. That’s simple. It’s found in Mark 12:30: “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment.”

The second highest priority is found in verse 31: “And the second, like it, is this:‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” These two commandments—and notice they are commandments—represent the cross.

Geometry of the cross

The perpendicular beam of the cross represents our relationship and intimacy with God. The horizontal part corresponds to our relationship with our mate. Notice that our horizontal relationship between each other depends on our vertical connection to God. Both are important and necessary if we desire to please and serve God acceptably.

Unfortunately in today’s church, working at our marriages is given lower priority. Meanwhile church involvement, our careers and our own self-interests are encouraged moreso. No wonder there are so many troubled marriages today!

Yes, marriage is made in heaven—meaning, ordained by God—but it must be worked out here on earth. Notice I used the word “work” because that’s what it takes (and a lot of it) to not only have a good marriage, but just to stay married. So let’s talk about what kind of effort it will take once you decide to make your marriage priority #2. Below I list a few things that will improve your marriage, and you can both start as soon as you finish reading this blog.

How to build a better marriage

  1. Realize that you are not each other’s enemy. When you fight your mate, you are fighting the wrong battle. You should be fighting for and not against each other. Often the Goliaths we need to confront are inside of us—not outside. Fear of rejection, anger, unforgiveness or even feeling put down and condemned—these are the real enemies that God is exposing. Once exposed, you can fight the right battle in Jesus. Notice that I didn’t mention satan. Even though he is our enemy he isn’t directly attacking us but through some of the open doors that i mentioned above.
  2. Give and receive forgiveness. You have both made mistakes. But more than anything, humbling yourself in this way gives God permission to enter your relationship. Meanwhile, unforgiveness blocks His presence and gives satan greater access to create turmoil.
  3. Pray for your marriage. Set aside time every day to agree together, even for just a few minutes. “Where two or three are gathered together God is in the midst of you”. What a great promise that is!
  4. Lastly, hold each other in your arms. Embrace for just 30 seconds at various times during each day without saying anything. This simple act allows your spirit and your mate’s to connect in a very special way. Walls will come down, and God’s love will begin to flow supernaturally.

Now the challenge is to take these simple but profound steps, and put them into action—whether you feel like it or not. I am telling you that miracles will start happening in your marriage—even after just one week! Send me your testimonies and I will announce them in my next blog.…

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couple holding each other

Unprecedented times, extraordinary opportunities

August 21, 2021 Gaspar Anastasi
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Finding direction, Marriage, Success & victory

We are living in unprecedented times. Things we once took for granted are no longer the same. Covid-19 has changed so many ways in which we live, especially our relationships. Gathering with friends and family used to be such a natural part of life. Now everything we do revolves around our health and concerns about catching or transmitting the virus.

Despite all of the fear generated by the news media and social media, this is actually an opportune time for our marriages to grow stronger and flourish. Romans 8:28 says: “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

It’s all good

ALL things work together for GOOD. Can you see that happening in this season—with less time spent apart and more time together? It is a great occasion to strengthen your marriage, especially if you are intentional about it. Couples now have the time to communicate honestly and transparently in areas where they may have neglected each other previously.    

You might discover that you have put other things ahead of your husband or wife. Recognize that God is giving us this chance to rediscover our love for one another and the reason we married in the first place. Of course, you have to want a better marriage. Many of us have grown apart without really knowing it. Outside interests, career pressures and even other relationships have robbed time and interest that once belonged to our mate.

The primary relationship

The most important relationship you have in life is with God. The second is with your mate. By God’s grace, He is giving us pause to put things back in proper alignment with Himself and each other. See the good in this season and not just the bad.

Nothing ever catches God by surprise. Even though God didn’t cause this pandemic, He can and will use it for our benefit, if we look at life through His eyes.

Unprecedented happiness

God’s destiny for couples is a happy and fulfilled marriage. So let’s use this pause to make a plan, before life as usual takes over again. Here are a few things you can do to start the journey to happiness and fulfillment.

1. Talk about it. Discuss ways you could both work to make your marriage better. Be intentional about it, allowing honesty and transparency without judgment or criticism.

2. Act quickly. Put into motion right away the few concepts you agreed to in Number 1.

3. Ask forgiveness. Look at ways you have neglected your partner and take responsibility for your actions (or lack thereof). Don’t blame-shift. Make sure to truly forgive each other from your hearts.

4. Pray for revival. Join your hearts together in prayer to re-ignite the love you once shared.

Restored hope

Over time, couples can become calloused toward each other. The small steps above can start the process of melting your hardened hearts and restoring hope.

Remember you have God on your side, but the devil against you. GOD IS GREATER, so start praying now for His grace over your marriage. Then watch Him do great things through you. In these unprecedented times, expect extraordinary blessings. It’s never too late to make your marriage great!

We would love to hear what steps you agreed on to bring life back to your marriage! Please comment below.…

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couple on railroad tracks

Why your marriage needs a vision

August 7, 2021 Gaspar Anastasi
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Finding direction, Making positive change, Marriage

Many married couples never actually grow in oneness. Nor do they experience the true joy in marriage God intended. Why? They have no vision. 

Proverbs 29:18 says where there is no vision my people perish. That literally means “my people accomplish nothing; nor have a real purpose in life.”  

You have a purpose together

A vision acts like railroad tracks that your life runs on. It provides stability, direction, a known destiny and, most importantly, it provides purpose. Without these elements, a marriage will be—at best—stuck in a rut… going around in circles. At its worst—headed for destruction and divorce. 

Make no mistake: Every marriage has a God-given purpose. The vision is simply one of the ways God speaks to us about our purpose. He brought you together for a reason. The vision reveals the direction and steps you are to take to fulfill His reason or purpose. 

Ways to envision

Thoughts, dreams, imaginations and visual downloads of things yet to come… These are all ways that God reveals His vision for you as a couple. Now these visions will often seem impossible. That’s normal. If it were possible without God, it wouldn’t be from God. The Almighty specializes in the impossible, but He needs our cooperation. Our part is to believe and act in faith for what He shows us.

God always speaks the end from the beginning—showing us what our future could look like; giving you a vision for what it could be; and then encouraging you to act on the plan with Him by setting goals to get there. This requires you to spend time together praying and dreaming about what your marriage could be and, most importantly, what God truly wants it to be. 

Create a vision board

A while back, Michele and I made up a vision board which expresses our envisioned destiny through pictures and words. We decided what we believed God wanted to accomplish through our marriage and then found pictures and words that expressed those God-inspired ideas. We then glued them on a large tag board so that we could keep God’s vision for our marriage before our eyes daily. 

Remember, a vision is God’s road map that leads us to a chosen destination (a married life of success and fulfillment). 

Fight, fight, fight

However, know this: Our enemy satan will do everything he can to keep couples at odds with each other and distracted with a cluttered life, so that we don’t reach God’s destiny for us. 

Fight through all those distractions. And set aside time to come together with the purpose of hearing from God. Make it a priority. This act of agreement helps Him to download His vision for your marriage. 

Start where you are

You might not see very far in the beginning, but start anyway.  As you are faithful with what He initially shows you, God will increase your ability to hear and see even more of His destiny for you as a team. Remember, it will take the both of you to hear clearly what God has planned for your marriage. 

As you journey into getting God’s vision for your marriage, let us know how it worked out. What were some of the obstacles you encountered, and how did you overcome them? Michele and I look forward to hearing from you!…

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diver and shark

What’s Wrong With This Picture?

July 17, 2021 Gaspar Anastasi
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Making positive change

One day I was given a picture of a living room and asked to identify what was wrong with it. After looking at the picture a few seconds, the answer was obvious. I noticed that next to the couch, coffee table, lamp and television there sat a stove.

As obvious as that is, many of us have things in our lives that are just as out of place! Let me name a few and see if you can identify some of them in your own Christian life. By calling ourselves Christians, you and I identify with Jesus Christ, the Architect of a Christ-like life.

So what doesn’t belong?

  1. Refusing to forgive. We forgive with conditions (if at all), forgetting that God loves us unconditionally. He forgave our sins while we were yet enemies of the cross. We mistakenly believe that we can forgive or not whenever and whomever we want! (Mark 11:25,26 & Matthew 5:44)
  2. Holding back our first fruits to God (tithes and offerings). We give when it is convenient and hold back when it isn’t. We assume that God really doesn’t care when or how much we give. WRONG! (Proverbs 3:9)
  3. Not attending or belonging to a local church. We say things like “I don’t have to be part of a corporate body to serve God.” Is that what God says? Of course not! God requires us to come together! (Hebrews 10:24, 25) We see in the word that the first church God started on the day of Pentecost, met in the homes and the synagogue, daily and weekly.
  4. Keeping silent about Jesus. Every day we pass a multitude of people who are on their way to hell. We take for granted that we are on our way to heaven, so it doesn’t matter. Yet one of our primary purposes as Christ’s ambassador is to be a witness (share Jesus) to every person God puts in our path. That’s how Jesus our architect designed us. (Romans 10:13-15)

Covenant or convenient

There are many other things that don’t belong in the life of a true Christian, but I believe that if you will remove these four, the others will also go. We are not our own anymore. We belong to Jesus because He purchased us with His precious blood.

We can no longer live on the premise that we’ll only do what’s convenient. We’re called to live every day for Him, through Him and by Him (Galatians 2:20).

That is the lifestyle we were created and designed for, the most fulfilling life we could live (Ephesians 2:10).

Remove what’s wrong

Jesus is our Creator and Architect. If you want your “living room” to reflect the Architect who designed it and His plans and purposes for such a creation, remove the things that don’t belong in the picture. Let’s glorify Him and stop taking Him for granted. He really does care how we live our Christian life. Ask yourself today: What’s wrong with this picture? And make a conscious effort to remove the things that don’t belong! It’s a great way to start every day.…

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bible and boots

Don’t just believe…Act!

July 10, 2021 Gaspar Anastasi
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Making positive change, Success & victory

Most Christians know that the will of God is His word and that His word is His will. But we’re not supposed to just believe in God’s word. We’re to demonstrate it!

There’s a big difference between knowing the right thing to do and actually doing it. Our job is to genuinely demonstrate to the world who God is and His will for us.

The power of the miraculous

Romans 12:2 says, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

Did you catch that? We are to prove the will of God to the world. That proof is exhibited through miracles. Miracles provide irrefutable evidence of God and His will to every human on planet earth.

The Apostle Paul said it this way in 1 Corinthians 2:4: ”And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power.” In other words, Paul proved that the God he was preaching about was real by the miracles he performed,  not by his eloquent speech.

Like Paul, you can operate in miracles and present the true Bible Jesus to the world. We serve a powerful omnipotent Savior, not a counterfeit religious character with no power to change our lives or circumstances! Here are some points to help you demonstrate God’s power.

How to demonstrate His power

1. Have a consuming love for God’s word. Smith Wigglesworth, the famous Englishman of faith who lived in the early 1900’s, never went more than 15 minutes without reading God’s word. Today we label people like him religious fanatics. But very few people have walked in the miraculous like Smith Wigglesworth.

2. Have an overwhelming confidence in the word of God and the God of the word. Know that He meant what He said and said what He meant. Believe that God’s word is the final authority in any given situation. His word cancels everybody else’s opinion. God tells the prophet Jeremiah that He put His word in his mouth. And when Jeremiah declares it, God will hasten to perform it.

3. Speak, declare and confess God’s word. Let God’s opinion (the only one that counts) be released concerning your situation. When you say the same thing God says and believe what you say, watch out! A miracle is just about to manifest!

Let your words be few

4. When you’ve walked out the first 3 steps, keep your mouth shut. When you speak God’s word about the circumstance, nothing else is needed. Just “be still and know that He is God”. We try to help God by adding words that are often negative, cancelling out what God started.

The more you speak, the greater the risk of opening the door for Satan. The less said the better. However, if you can’t hold your tongue, use it to praise God! Exalt God with your words, giving Him access to the atmosphere around you. God inhabits the praises of His people. Remember, the world needs to see the Jesus we love, the real Jesus. Prove His will to them by putting His will on display. Demonstrate His word and His will to a lost and dying world!

If this blog has been a blessing to you, please take a moment to comment below.…

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