Marriage is beautiful. Marriage is difficult. Marriage is wonderful. Marriage is hard work. Even the Apostle Paul told us “there’s trouble in marriage” (1 Corinthians 7:28).

Having said that, God created marriage to reflect His glory to the world. He also created it to help form us into the image of Christ. Here’s the shocker: Marriage isn’t meant to be easy. Dying to self and becoming sanctified is not easy. But God knows exactly what we need to grow, exactly what we need to get our rough edges smoothed off.

God knows exactly what we need to grow and get our rough edges smoothed off.

Naked and unafraid

All that was for free. What I want to talk about today is another spiritual discipline in marriage: Couple’s devotions. As Christians, we know the importance of daily devotions. In fact, some of you already have a personal devotion time each day, and that’s great. So what’s the point of couple’s devotions if each of you already have your own time with God?

Well, honestly that’s what I thought too until one day while I was reading Genesis 3:8. It says Adam and Eve heard the sound of the Lord walking in the garden and hid themselves because the were afraid. They were afraid because they had just sinned, and now they had to face God “naked and ashamed.”

When couples spend time together with God, it opens the door to deeper spiritual conversations, grows our faith and helps keep us in unity.

I have no proof, but it seems clear to me that Adam and Eve were quite used to God coming and meeting with them. I think it would be odd if God’s first visit came only after they had sinned. God walking with Adam and Eve suggests His close, intimate relationship with His children—which includes us. I got the revelation that God did this often, perhaps daily “in the cool of the day”. What was different this time is that they were afraid.

God wants in

Personal time with God is very important, but let’s not neglect the fact that God was in the garden because He wanted to spend time with Adam and Eve together.

When couples spend time together with God, it opens the door to deeper spiritual conversations, grows our faith and helps keep us in unity. It gives you and your spouse a way to spend special time together, talking about things that matter.

Any good habit—whether eating healthy, making time to exercise or saving money—takes time to develop. But it needs to start somewhere. It doesn’t have to be complicated to be valuable. There are so many good marriage devotionals to choose from. They usually start with a little anecdote about marriage, a couple of verses of scripture to meditate on, maybe a question to discuss and prayer for each other.

Set a goal

Your devotional time can be in the morning or evening, whatever works best for the two of you. Be flexible. Setting the goal for every day may be too much to keep up with at first. Perhaps starting with once a week would be better. Try that for a couple of months, then add another day. If you miss a week, don’t get discouraged, give yourself some grace, and pick up where you left off.

Be sure to look for next week’s blog post. I’ll shed more light on this important topic and share a good sample devotional. In the meantime, why not discuss doing devotions as a couple with your husband or wife and carve out a time to make it happen! [Continued next week]

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As we discussed during our New Years’ service, 2023 is the year of Divine Favor. Nowhere is divine favor more abundant and needed than in marriage. Let’s face it: Two people becoming one is impossible in our own strength. As couples, we have missed out on this crucial and rich heritage of divine favor that God set aside especially for us. So many of us have either been unaware of it or have lived without expectation that His favor will work in our marriage.

Divine favor is defined as unfair partiality (given by God), special privilege, and the supernatural capacity to accomplish things that you don’t have the ability or strength to do. Amazingly, you and I can be empowered by the Holy Spirit to both give divine favor to our mate and to receive divine favor from them. And when we do so, our marriages prosper exponentially.

Divine favor is unfair partiality (given by God), special privilege, and the supernatural capacity to accomplish things that you don’t have the ability or strength to do.

Favor in action

Here’s an example. Let’s say you have an argument with your mate, and it is severe enough that you want to separate. But suddenly, grace from God comes upon you to forgive with no strings attached! Not only do you close the door on satan to hurt your marriage further, but you open the door to reconciliation. You must recognize that something supernatural just happened. That was God releasing divine favor in you to accomplish what you couldn’t!

Or let’s say… you plan a much-needed getaway, but when the time comes, you don’t have enough money. Then, miraculously, the vacation destination lowers their rates for the time period you planned to go, and now you can make it. That is divine favor! You and I have been living with God’s unearned kindnesses all along, but without recognizing what it was and where it came from.

God makes His favor readily available for you every day of your life—multiple times a day. And don’t say, “I wish that were true” because it is! Below, I have listed steps that will secure your heritage of divine favor our Father intended for our marriages. Maybe you’ve been living outside of His abundant blessing and realize it’s time for a turnaround.

How to secure divine favor

1. Ask the Lord to forgive you for taking for granted His favor in your life and marriage. Too many of us live with an entitlement attitude—not being sufficiently grateful and humbled by God’s goodness.
2. Expect God’s favor to manifest in your home daily. His favor is your heritage as a believer in Christ. Rather than expecting trouble, anticipate goodness instead.
3. Recognize where divine favor comes from. It’s not your own doing. That’s pride. Just take note of the grace God gives you every day to live a successful marriage.
4. Get a bigger vision than just being happily married. Think about God’s kingdom and His purposes for your union. Recognize the much-needed example of marriage fulfillment you can provide to struggling couples.  
5. Seed favor into your mate and watch God multiply His abundance back to you through your mate.
6. Give your tithes and offerings. Keep your heart close to God by sharing with Him the fruits of your labor. Where your money is, that’s where your heart is (Matt. 6:21). Giving is especially key if you want God’s favor released in your finances.

Although God’s promises are “Yes” and “Amen” (2 Cor. 1:20), it takes our faith to make them a reality.

There it is! A strategy to receive God’s abundant favor in your marriage. Although God’s promises are “Yes” and “Amen” (2 Cor. 1:20), it takes our faith to make them a reality. I have lived married life with the abundance of favor that God made available for me… and I’ve also lived without it. Guess which I like best!

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Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if they lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one stay warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. —Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Making marriage out of mess

Do you know that God has a plan and purpose to use you and your spouse together? That He designed a purpose specifically for your marriage? If you have your doubts, just look back to the very first couple in the garden.

God created man and woman in His image to represent Him on the earth. They were the crowning jewel of His creation. His purpose for them together was to fill the earth and subdue it. God has not altered His plan since then. God’s purpose for the first couple lives on in you and your spouse.

When I first heard a teaching on this many years ago, I quickly dismissed it. Maybe this applied to my pastor and his wife… or the elders and their wives… but for Gaspar and me? No way. How could God possibly have a purpose for our marriage? There were times when we thought our marriage wouldn’t even make it. With all the trials we’d been through—selfishly separating, each fighting to get our own way—we brought new meaning to the phrase “God will bring ministry out of your mess.” He sure did.

So think again. God does have a plan and purpose for every marriage, including yours. I remember saying, “Ok, Lord, here we are; we’re available. Lead the way.” And lo and behold, to our amazement, He did!

An unstoppable force

God created you and your spouse for a work that only the two of you can accomplish together. He foreknew all your differences and carefully put them together so you would compliment each other. Then He blended together all those qualities for His planned purpose. Why? Because together you can accomplish more and greater things than either of you could on your own. Together you’re a powerful force. And, with God, you’re unstoppable.

Together you’re a powerful force and, with God, you’re unstoppable.

Probably your next questions are: “Where do we start? How do we know the purpose God has for us?” To start, the best way any Christian couple can serve God is to glorify Him in their marriage.

Married couples possess the power to create what many people hunger for: Family and Belonging. We live in such a fractured world. Many people live and work hundreds of miles from their nearest relatives. Families crack and break apart. People are lonely and isolated and, inside, are longing for a place to belong. They long for family.

A healthy relationship builds hope

Psalm 68:6 says, “God sets the lonely in families.” Often, as married couples, we can become “family” for those without one.

Many people today don’t even know what a healthy marriage looks like. They’ve seen so many fractured relationships and divorces, they’ve lost hope that any marriage can last. Married Christians have an incredible opportunity to model what Christ designed marriage to be. That may not sound like a “ministry,” since you aren’t actually “doing” something other than being yourselves. But in our society, simply staying together and working at your marriage sends a powerful message.

And you don’t have to be perfect to do that. When people see that you and your spouse love and respect each other they take notice. You can provide hope for those who have lost hope for a healthy relationship.

Regardless of the ministry God leads you and your spouse to fulfill, together you can draw strength from each other. As a couple, you have instant access to another person’s skills. If you remember, Jesus always sent His disciples out in teams of two. When two people work together, they protect each other, encourage and support one another, share the workload, offset each other’s weaknesses and draw on each other’s strengths.

When two people work together, they… offset each other’s weaknesses and draw on each other’s strengths.

Blended callings

Today, Jesus sends out couples just like He sent out His disciples—in pairs. Why? Because there’s power in pairs.

Christians often think of serving God individually. But think how much your ministry and marriage can be strengthened if you could blend both your callings! God has called you to serve Him and He has called you to be married. Those two callings—not only can go together, they—should go together. When they do, you’ll have a stronger Christian walk and a stronger Christian marriage.

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