I had to laugh when a good friend read last week’s blog about Gaspar and me making a Vision Board. She said, “That’s fine for you ‘crafty’ people, but my husband and I aren’t the creative types.” Little did she know that the vision board we made was just one of the things we did at our annual Marriage Retreat. And 20 couples—both creative and non-creative types—had a blast doing it.

Maybe making a vision board isn’t your thing, but you shouldn’t let that stop you from coming up with a vision statement for your marriage.

Few couples ever think about their life vision or articulate it. In our society, life visions usually sound something like this: Get an education. Get a good job. Get married. Buy a house. Have children. Make more money. Buy a bigger house. Enjoy a nice retirement. These aren’t bad things to want and may very well be a part of God’s plan for you, but it’s not all He wants.

Wait, there’s more!

The Bible teaches us that we have a God who created each of us, then brought us together for a purpose—more than for just our own happiness. What would your marriage be like if you asked, “Father, what do you want our lives to accomplish for You?” Interesting thought, isn’t it?

Simply put, your life vision is what you’re living for. Your ultimate purpose. What your life is all about. It can be summed up in one sentence, or it may be an entire page. The important thing is that it clearly states the purpose and goals of your life together.

Your vision can be summed up in one sentence or one page. The important thing is that it clearly states the purpose and goals of your life together.

Where to begin?

Talk

Start by talking about your mutual goals and dreams. I know, it can be a little difficult to be open about something so personal, even to a spouse. One partner may feel the other won’t understand or may be critical. But you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Pray

Finding A life vision obviously must involve prayer since we are seeking God’s plan for us. There are so many things that we can do and many things that need to be done. So we need God‘s guidance in what His plan is for us. Just ask Him and He’ll show you—maybe not the full plan all at once, but He’ll show you.

Write

There’s something about writing a life vision that solidifies it in your mind and lends it added importance. It also helps keep you on track when life gets hectic. Read it often and it will bring you back to your priorities and what you really want to spend your time on.

As you talk, pray and write, two questions may help:

1) Does this vision speak to who we are? (Does it fit our gifts and strengths?)

2) If we focus on these areas, will we feel that we’ve fulfilled our destiny? Your life vision starts out with who you are and the gifts and interests God has put in both of you. But it needs to end by benefiting and helping others.

One constant in the lives of couples with strong marriages is their mutual devotion to a cause or purpose beyond themselves.

Yours, mine and ours

You may be wondering, “How do we combine our interests when we have two very different calls?” Combining two life visions into one calls for creative give and take. It’s sort of a yours-mine-and-ours approach.

In our marriage, Gaspar does a wide variety of things in the ministry that I’m not involved in. Likewise, I do women’s ministry, Bible Studies and Life Coaching—things that he isn’t involved in. But then, together, we share this blog, our weekly marriage group, and marriage counseling and coaching.

Christian couples can make an impact in many places: Community programs, schools, businesses, hospitality, encouraging—and, of course, the church—to name a few.

His plan is bigger than you

Studies have shown that one constant in the lives of couples with strong marriages is their mutual devotion to a cause or purpose beyond themselves. This was God’s original plan, and following His plans and principles will always lead to happiness and success.

If you would like more details on how to make a Vision Board or write a Vision Statement, just leave your request and email in the comment box, we’ll be happy to send it to you. 

We love hearing from you. Please leave a message below if this blog has been a blessing to you.

While this blog was not originally written for couples, it definitely applies to a Christ-centered marriage. We’ve all seen, for example, a picture of a living room and been asked to identify what was wrong with it. After a few seconds, the answer becomes obvious. Next to the couch, coffee table, lamp and television, you spot a stove or bathtub.

As obvious as that is, many of us have things in our lives and relationships that are just as out of place—even detrimental. Let me name a few and see if you can identify some of them in your own Christian life. By calling ourselves Christians, you and I identify with Jesus Christ, the Architect of a Christ-like life.

By calling ourselves Christians, you and I identify with Jesus Christ, the Architect of a Christ-like life.

So what doesn’t belong?

1. Refusing to forgive. We forgive with conditions (if at all), forgetting that God loves us unconditionally. He forgave our sins while we were yet enemies of the cross. We mistakenly believe that we can forgive or not whenever and whomever we want! (Mark 11:25,26 & Matthew 5:44)
2. Holding back our first fruits to God (tithes and offerings). We give when it is convenient and hold back when it isn’t. We assume that God really doesn’t care when or how much we give. WRONG! (Proverbs 3:9)
3. Not attending or belonging to a local church. We say things like “I don’t have to be part of a corporate body to serve God.” Is that what God says? Of course not! God requires us to come together! (Hebrews 10:24, 25) We see in the word that the first church God started on the day of Pentecost, met in the homes and the synagogue, daily and weekly.
4. Keeping silent about Jesus. Every day we pass a multitude of people who are on their way to hell. We take for granted that we are on our way to heaven, so it doesn’t matter. Yet one of our primary purposes as Christ’s ambassador is to be a witness (share Jesus) to every person God puts in our path. That’s how Jesus our architect designed us. (Romans 10:13-15)

Covenant or convenient

There are many other things that don’t belong in a Christ-centered marriage, but I believe that if you will remove these four, others will also go. We are not our own anymore. We belong to Jesus because He purchased us with His precious blood. Also keep in mind that you can only control your own actions—not your mate’s.

We can no longer just do what’s convenient. We are now covenant people.

We can no longer live on the premise that we’ll only do what’s convenient. We’re called to live every day for Him, through Him and by Him (Galatians 2:20).

That is the lifestyle we were created and designed for, the most fulfilling life we could live (Ephesians 2:10).

Remove what’s wrong

If you want your “living room” to reflect the Architect who designed it and His plans and purposes for such a creation, remove the things that don’t belong in the picture. Jesus is our Creator and Architect. Let’s glorify Him and stop taking Him for granted. He really does care how we live our Christian life. Ask yourself today: What’s wrong with this picture? And make a conscious effort to remove the things that don’t belong. It’s a great way to start every day.

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