Your marriage wins with a good coach!

July 24, 2021 Michele Anastasi

Making positive change, Success & victory

We recently added Marriage Coaching to the services we offer at our Breaking Free Living Well Counseling Center. When I (Michele) received my certification as a Life Coach this past November, we realized life coaching is a perfect tool to assist people in learning how to live well, especially in marriage.

Of course, there’s nothing better than inner healing prayer and counseling. Why? It helps couples break free from past hurts and negative behaviors they brought into the marriage.

Miracles happen every day

We see miracles every day! Couples come in on the verge of divorce. Then, after receiving Stop Hurting Start Healing prayer and counseling, their hearts amazingly soften and change. Husband and wife develop a renewed desire to forgive each other and work at their marriage. It’s at this point that marriage coaching becomes so beneficial!

I (Gaspar) am also excited about the marriage coaching program we’re now offering. It’s the next step and follow-up for a couple who have gone through Stop Hurting Start Healing. In our sessions, Michele and I diagnose the couple’s problems, pray for inner healing, counsel them and prescribe solutions.

Go “all in”

Coaching facilitates conversations between couples and teaches them useful skills. That way, husbands and wives can use those learned skills outside of the coaching sessions to develop their own solutions. However, marriage coaching serves only couples who want to grow and change. These are husbands and wives who are willing to work the process together in order to accomplish something they both want.

The couple doesn’t have to come to the coaching session knowing exactly what changes they want to make. As coaches, we help them to clarify how they want to grow by asking insightful questions that can draw out their thoughts, feelings and desires. We then take them through exercises that help them communicate to each other what they want.

“We” wins

In time, couples start to focus on the “we” in their relationship. That’s one of the most important things that marriage coaching accomplishes. Husbands and wives emerge, no longer as two individuals just living for self. They become a team embarking on a journey to fulfill the purpose God has for them as a couple. And, make no mistake, God indeed has a plan for you and your marriage. Let’s discover it together! Sometimes winning takes a good coach.

If you are interested in getting coached personally or as a couple, please visit the Breaking Free Living Well Counseling Center website or call 239.244.3912. Feel free to share your thoughts below.…

Don’t just believe…Act!

July 10, 2021 Gaspar Anastasi

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Making positive change, Success & victory

Most Christians know that the will of God is His word and that His word is His will. But we’re not supposed to just believe in God’s word. We’re to demonstrate it!

There’s a big difference between knowing the right thing to do and actually doing it. Our job is to genuinely demonstrate to the world who God is and His will for us.

The power of the miraculous

Romans 12:2 says, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

Did you catch that? We are to prove the will of God to the world. That proof is exhibited through miracles. Miracles provide irrefutable evidence of God and His will to every human on planet earth.

The Apostle Paul said it this way in 1 Corinthians 2:4: ”And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power.” In other words, Paul proved that the God he was preaching about was real by the miracles he performed, not by his eloquent speech.

Like Paul, you can operate in miracles and present the true Bible Jesus to the world. We serve a powerful omnipotent Savior, not a counterfeit religious character with no power to change our lives or circumstances! Here are some points to help you demonstrate God’s power.

How to demonstrate His power

1. Have a consuming love for God’s word. Smith Wigglesworth, the famous Englishman of faith who lived in the early 1900’s, never went more than 15 minutes without reading God’s word. Today we label people like him religious fanatics. But very few people have walked in the miraculous like Smith Wigglesworth.

2. Have an overwhelming confidence in the word of God and the God of the word. Know that He meant what He said and said what He meant. Believe that God’s word is the final authority in any given situation. His word cancels everybody else’s opinion. God tells the prophet Jeremiah that He put His word in his mouth. And when Jeremiah declares it, God will hasten to perform it.

3. Speak, declare and confess God’s word. Let God’s opinion (the only one that counts) be released concerning your situation. When you say the same thing God says and believe what you say, watch out! A miracle is just about to manifest!

Let your words be few

4. When you’ve walked out the first 3 steps, keep your mouth shut. When you speak God’s word about the circumstance, nothing else is needed. Just “be still and know that He is God”. We try to help God by adding words that are often negative, cancelling out what God started.

The more you speak, the greater the risk of opening the door for Satan. The less said the better. However, if you can’t hold your tongue, use it to praise God! Exalt God with your words, giving Him access to the atmosphere around you. God inhabits the praises of His people. Remember, the world needs to see the Jesus we love, the real Jesus. Prove His will to them by putting His will on display. Demonstrate His word and His will to a lost and dying world!

If this blog has been a blessing to you, please take a moment to comment below.…

Declare your independence

July 3, 2021 Gaspar Anastasi

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Getting past the past, Making positive change, Success & victory

The greatest battle ever fought on the face of the earth was waged—not for the freedom of any one nation or people—but for the liberation of all mankind. This battle of all battles took place on a lonely hill in a small corner of the world. Not a single weapon was fired, and just one Man died.

The war that was won

Now 2,000 years later, the events of that afternoon continue to shake the universe. Jesus, hanging on a cross against a darkened sky, cried out one final time and yielded up His spirit. A massive, rock-splitting earthquake shook the planet. The veil that had hung quietly in the temple for hundreds of years, symbolically separating a Holy God from sinful man, suddenly tore in half from top to bottom. Graves were ripped open and the dead rose and walked out alive.

Jesus’ death was so catastrophic that the soldiers who guarded Him —men who moments before mocked Him and gambled for His clothes —“feared greatly saying, ‘Truly this was the Son of God!’” (Matt. 27: 45-54)

An eternal triumph

Jesus descended into hell, triumphed over satan in his own domain (Col. 2:15), took the keys of death and the grave (Rev. 1:18), rose from the dead the third day and gave you and me the freedom to inherit eternal life (Rom. 8:17). This was no small fistfight. It was a thorough, humiliating defeat that still sends satan reeling every time a man or woman of God speaks the name of Jesus in faith.

What Jesus won for us was independence from satan’s domination and the freedom to choose heaven or hell, eternal life or eternal death. Up to that point, satan had held all of humanity captive. He had narrowed our choice of eternal destiny down to one: Hell and everlasting damnation.

Have everlasting freedom

The freedoms we Americans celebrate on July 4th are great and they came at the price of much bloodshed. But the freedom to vote, the freedom of speech, the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are only temporary, earth-bound privileges with no eternal value. The freedom for which Jesus shed His precious blood is available eternally. But like any other freedom or right, we must exercise it.

So how do we exercise our right to eternal life? You must choose whom you will serve: satan or Jesus Christ. Understand this: If you have never accepted Jesus Christ, you are still in bondage to satan. Confess that Jesus paid the price and defeated satan, that Jesus overcame death and rose from the dead and believe it in your heart.

By confessing Jesus as your Lord and your Savior, you effectively declare your independence from satan and from sin (Rom. 10:9). You have a legal right to heaven and all the blessings of God. Don’t let satan trick you out of it. Let today become your Independence Day from sin, sickness and death!

If this blog post has been a blessing to you, please let us know by commenting below.…

You must go back to go forward.

June 19, 2021 Gaspar Anastasi

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Finding significance in life, Making positive change, Success & victory

Our past influences us in one way or another: How we were raised, our parents’ weaknesses and strengths, the culture we were raised in, our past memories, the belief systems we were taught, etc. Of course some of those influences were positive. On the other hand, others were destructive. They may have already sabotaged relationships, finances, lifestyles and especially our walk with God!

Understanding this fundamental truth equips us to begin breaking out of the boundaries set by past influences. These hindrances keep us from experiencing the kind of success for which God created us.

Sins of our fathers

The Bible has a lot to say about these things. It teaches us in Exodus 34:7 that the iniquities of our fathers are carried down from generation to generation, even up to the fourth generation. Have you ever said, “I never want to be like my father or mother” because of their destructive habit patterns? But then you wound up doing or saying the same things? Do you realize you probably think, cook, keep house, work, act, believe and relate to others the same way your parents did?

Two things from my childhood stand out to show me the need to go back… in order for me to go forward.

My backstory

Because my father, his father and his 3 brothers operated a 24-hour, 7 days a week family business, our family life was completely enmeshed with our work life. Everything in our lives was intertwined with operating the business. Holidays, birthdays and everyday life incorporated work. There was no separation. I learned early in life that family and work were one and the same.

As a result, I became a workaholic. That didn’t change even after I was born again. I sought to keep every family member involved in the work of the ministry. It just seemed natural to tie together family and work. I embraced this way of life as a child—along with many other faulty beliefs. It pulsated in my DNA, affecting me even after I accepted Jesus as Lord.

My mother was a great woman, but an absolute perfectionist. Therefore, mom unknowingly instilled in me a performance mentality. She showed me great love when I performed in ways that pleased her. But she withheld love when I didn’t live up to her expectations. (My mother thought she was helping me by controlling me in this way.)

Because of this, I became not only a workaholic, but one who worked hard for approval and acceptance. I was one driven, performance-oriented person! You can imagine the trouble that caused in every area of my life—including my family and my marriage.

Stuck in the past

When I gave my life to Jesus, I still lived under the same influences and suffered the same problems as I had before I became a Believer. Unfortunately, I was taught early in my Christian walk that if I wanted to move forward I should never look back. I was stuck!

You probably have a similar story. We need to break that religious tradition by having the courage to look back and honestly examine our family and cultural upbringing. Our emotional healing and future success as children of God depend on it.

Free yourself to go forward

We have to go back before we go forward and here’s how:

Get out of denial and break the religious myth that after we’re saved, we don’t have to deal with our past. 2 Corinthians 5:17 is talking about our spirit, not our soul.
Don’t deny your feelings. Listen to them because they reveal where and who you are on the inside.
Break ties to your family culture. Remember, you’re in God’s family now. So adopt His culture. Jesus said if you don’t love Him more than your mother and father, you aren’t one of His.
As the Holy Spirit reveals past things, crucify them by repenting and denying them access to your life again.
Finally, embrace your new family’s culture and beliefs. YOU CAN’T GO FORWARD UNTIL YOU FIRST GO BACK!

Thanks for taking the time to read our blog. If this is your first time; welcome to our blog family. If our articles have been a blessing to you, please share them with others. Your thoughts and opinions are important to us. Feel free to comment below.

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Faith or fear: you choose

May 29, 2021 Gaspar Anastasi

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Making positive change, Success & victory

Whether or not you realize it, every day you choose Fear or you choose Faith. You either decide to believe that God is in control, (taking care of you, planning good things for you) or you go around worried about every circumstance you face, expecting the worst!

Faith and fear have one important thing in common. They both ask us to believe something we can’t see and that hasn’t happened yet. Knowing this can revolutionize your life!

Fear asks us to believe, for example: I’m not going to make it; I’m going to die; I’ll be alone for the rest of my life; God can’t help me so I’d better do something immediately….

Faith, on the other hand, asks of us: Keep trusting God; my breakthrough is right around the corner; this too will pass; I shall live and not die; the best is yet to come….

Who to believe

Notice that both faith and fear have a voice. Fear speaks negative things and faith speaks positive. You choose which voice you listen to, but remember that faith and fear can’t live in the same house. One will cancel out the other.

Hebrews 10:38 says, “Now the just shall live by faith; But if anyone draws back, My soul has no pleasure in him.” When we stop trusting God to care for us and deliver us from our problems, we displease Him. He withdraws from us. Faith attracts God’s presence, but fear repels it and attracts Satan’s demonic presence instead.

In choosing faith or fear, you choose who has greater influence in your life: God or Satan. Keep in mind that, in Luke 12:32, Jesus commands us not to fear.

What to do

• Give faith the last word! When you speak negative words over yourself or others, you prophesy bad results and seal your destiny. Counter what fear predicts with God’s promises and plans. Prophesy your godly, positive future by choosing to believe and speak the voice of faith.

• Meditate daily on what God promised — not on what the devil shows you. Thoughts we dwell on day and night become a reality. Constantly thinking and expressing fear will bring them into existence (Mark 11:22). Fear works like faith, but in reverse!

• Choose your friends wisely. Fear is contagious. People who worry constantly and talk negatively about their marriages, finances, children etc. are very dangerous to your spiritual health. Listening to their rhetoric will infect you with fear and will produce worry and anxiety in those same areas of our life. Be honest and help them by telling them the truth. But avoid close relationships with people like that like the plague!

• Faith your fears to death! What I mean is: Constantly talk to your fears with the promises of God. Learn and consistently talk the language of God, which is faith. Remember, let faith have the last word and eventually let faith be your ONLY word, no matter what fear shows you or says to you!

Faith your fear

Now, take the time to write down the things fear has been saying. Present them to God and ask Him to forgive you for listening to and believing them. Crush the paper in your hand and throw it in the garbage. Then start releasing your faith talk and commit to “faith-ing” your fears to death from now on!

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Become known by God.

May 15, 2021 Gaspar Anastasi

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Finding significance in life, Success & victory

There is only one thing more important in life than knowing God, and that is God knowing you.

Matthew 7:21-23 records Jesus’ response to one of His self-proclaimed servants who said he had healed the sick, prophesied and cast out devils in His name. However, this person obviously never opened himself up to be known by God; because Jesus said, “I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!“

How scary is that! Yet, how many of us still have walls and barriers up in our lives that keep God from knowing us?

We put on our religious garb and act as though God and us are one, but in reality we never become transparent before Him. We never fully let the Lord into our inner world (our thoughts, feelings, disappointments, our fears, etc.). We have asked Him to be Savior, but we still haven’t given Him the freedom to be Lord in our lives. The problem is that we can’t have one without the other.

Take a moment out of your busy schedule and invite the Lord into your inner world today. Intentionally invite Him to invade your heart and all the secret places of your inner world. Then you will begin to experience true freedom. No longer keep God at arm’s distance. You can trust Him! He will never disappoint you. His love in you will change your whole outlook on life.

Make the choice to let Jesus know you. You will never regret it; but you will regret it if He doesn’t.

If this blog has been a blessing to you, please take a moment to comment below.

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