Winning Over Rejection, Part 2

December 21, 2019 Michele Anastasi

Forgiveness, Rejection, Success & victory

Last week in Part 1, I told my story of rejection. If you would like to read it, go to http://www.gasparandmichele.com/winning-over-rejection-my-story.

God is the only one Who can heal a wounded heart. Scripture tells us that Jesus came to bind up the broken-hearted. So, why was I still so wounded and broken if I had Jesus in my life?

40 years ago, emotional healing was rarely spoken of. Somehow, I came across a book by John and Paula Sandford, pioneers on the subject of inner healing. Being the mess I was, it spoke to my heart, and we started our quest to learn more.

Thus began our Prayer Counseling Ministry–today known as Stop Hurting Start Healing. It’s my number one solution for emotional healing. To have a trained prayer minister guide you through painful issues from the past is invaluable. Often the journey takes you along such a dark and dismal path that, without help, many would give up.

Inner Vows

When people reject you, without realizing it, you feel betrayed by God. Where was He in my pain? you ask. Of course, Satan uses that opportunity to plant seeds of deception in your heart about yourself, about others and especially about God.

Growing up with an abusive mom, I believed I was bad; I couldn’t be any good, for her to treat me the way she did. I thought God must not love me either to let me hurt like this.

Like I mentioned last week, I can remember lying in bed thinking, “When I grow up no one is ever going to hurt me, or tell me what to do again.” I had no idea I was making a vow that would profoundly affect my life.

God is the only one Who can heal a wounded heart. Scripture tells us that Jesus came to bind up the broken-hearted. So, why was I still so wounded and broken if I had Jesus in my life?

You may not even realize that you’ve made vows, but think back to all the times you said, “I’ll never do this…” or “I’ll never do that….”

We make vows because we think we can protect ourselves from future hurt. In actuality, these inner vows harden our hearts to the point that we can never fully give or receive love. Can you relate to this?

Maybe it wasn’t a parent who hurt you. Maybe it was a failed marriage, and you vowed you’d never trust again or marry again or let anyone get close to you. Maybe as a teen you were betrayed by a group of girls and vowed never to trust females.

Lies are always at the root of such inner vows, forming ungodly beliefs. Every one of us holds some beliefs that aren’t true. When these beliefs are contrary to God’s Truth, we call them “ungodly beliefs.” They are lies we believe about ourselves, others and God. They affect our entire lives: Every relationship we have; every decision we make; how we act and react. Our very destiny.

Renounce the Lies

Hurt, rejection, negative experiences and trauma create ungodly beliefs in us. The child whose father walks out on his family can grow up believing: “I’m not important or Dad wouldn’t have left… People will always fail me.”

Being made fun of, called names by siblings or peers, being criticized by a teacher or authority figure—all these can form the ungodly beliefs: “No one will ever want me…I’m fat, I’m stupid…I’ll never amount to anything.” These ungodly beliefs follow us right into adulthood and become assignments against us.

In the healing process, it’s very important to renounce these lies and break agreement with them. By believing lies, you forge an alliance with the enemy, giving him easy access to your life.

Forgive

After renouncing satan’s lies, it’s even more important to come into agreement with what God says about you.

1). Start by forgiving those that contributed to forming the ungodly belief in you.

2). Ask God to forgive you for believing a lie and for judging those who hurt you. Pray and break the power of the lies from your life.

3). Find scripture that speaks Truth to these areas. This is the last and most important step to forgiving. Read those verses daily. Meditate on them. Memorize them until your mind becomes renewed with the Truth. Stick with it. Renewing your mind takes time.

Often, that’s why people don’t maintain their healing. Getting prayer is just one part of it. The most important part is renewing our mind with God’s Word.

Get to Know the Healer

The next strategy I would give is to develop intimacy with the Lord. I can hear some of you saying, “Yeah, I know that already.” But really, spend time in His Word, the Bible, daily. Hear what He has to say to you through His word. Then, pray bringing Him your needs. Jealously guard this devotional time. Otherwise, other things will take its place.

Attend a good Bible-believing church where you can receive strength and support for your journey, a place where the uncompromised Word of God is taught.

Identify with the Cross

Let me explain what I mean by identifying with the cross. Often we have a very limited concept of the Cross. We know that Jesus died on the Cross for our sin. He took our place and, when we accept Him as our Savior and Lord, when we die we go to Heaven. Yes, that’s true, but it doesn’t end there. That’s only one aspect of the Cross.

To identify with the Cross is to understand one thing: Everything about the “old me” can and should die there. The Cross wasn’t just for Jesus. The Cross is where we go daily to execute whatever needs to die in our lives.

When Jesus hung on the Cross He said, “It is finished.” It’s at the Cross that all the power Satan had over us is broken. When you take what you’re still struggling with to the Cross, it will be finished in your life, too. Keep in mind that when you bring something to the cross, everything isn’t automatically fixed.

Let’s say you fly into a rage, start throwing things and kick over the trash can. All of a sudden you catch yourself and run to the cross. “Lord, help me. Forgive me for this anger. Cleanse me.” God says, “Of course you’re forgiven.” What a relief! But guess what? There’s still garbage and broken stuff all over the place. Who has to clean it up? You do! But God gives you the grace and the strength to do it. One by one you pick up the pieces. It’s all a part of identifying with the Cross. It’s finished the moment you take it there, the rest is clean-up.

You have to take it there, and let it die. Often that’s where we get discouraged, because we think it isn’t working. Satan is whispering in your ear, “I’m back. You’re not free. This doesn’t work.” He wants to scare you into giving up.

Keep Your Eyes on Jesus

Stop looking at the junk and look at Jesus! He set us free, to live free forever. Not just free from sin, but free from rejection, free from a wounded spirit, free from depression, self-hatred, anger, and the list goes on and on.

Galatians 5:1 tells us: “Therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. “

So when Satan comes back with feelings of rejection, pain, bad memories, tell him where to go. Tell him: “Shut up, in Jesus’ name. You’re a liar! I am crucified with Christ, I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. Rejection doesn’t have a hold on me anymore. It’s nailed to the Cross. It died there.

Remember, healing is yours. Christ set you free. Keep standing firm!

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Winning Over Rejection: My Story

December 14, 2019 Michele Anastasi

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Rejection, Success & victory

Rejection is one of the most painful wounds you could ever receive. Not only does it damage your self-image and confidence, but rejection wounds your soul and spirit like nothing else can.

Because God is Love, rejection is one of Satan’s weapons of choice. He works very hard using whatever, and whomever he can to make us feel unloved and worthless.

In my own life, seeds of rejection were planted in me while still in my mother’s womb. As my tiny fingers and toes were being formed, so was the knowledge that I was unwanted. To some, that might seem strange, but our spirit is fully formed at the time of conception, and is able to pick up on our mother’s feelings. Even medical science has proven that infants in utero are aware of and react to external stimuli.

In the 1940’s, many women who conceived out of wedlock used homemade remedies to try to abort unwanted pregnancy. Fortunately for me, none of those remedies did away with my physical existence. To add to my mother’s fear, doctors had warned her that giving birth could kill her because of a severe heart condition she had since childhood. I heard this sad story constantly growing up—reinforcing the fact that I was a mistake.

My childhood and teen years were marked by physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my mother, who also had been raised in an abusive home. All this turned me into one rejected mess! It was etched into my soul that I was unwanted, had no value, and shouldn’t even exist. As it often does, rejection turned into rebellion; and a hardness began to grow inside me, along with anger and bitterness. I can remember lying in bed as a child and vowing that I would never let anyone hurt me again. Subconsciously I said, “No more” and put on a defensive front for self-protection.

When I came to Christ in my twenties, I brought all that ugly baggage with me. Instead of surrendering it to the Lord, I thought it was up to me to fix myself (as if I ever could).

I loved God. I knew if I died I’d go to heaven, but I couldn’t get victory over the anger, rage, and rejection that were controlling me. Yes, there were areas I had allowed Christ to touch and heal; but in the areas where I was most wounded, I remained unchanged.

Healing takes time and commitment. It’s a process. After all these years, God is still working in me, still healing me.

I shared all that because most people don’t like to admit that they still deal with rejection. They’ve spent so much of their lives trying to cover it up with all kinds of defense mechanisms.

Some of you might be thinking, “Well, I’m ok, this isn’t for me.”

Trust me, God isn’t finished with you either. We all need more healing.

If you still get hurt or offended; if you get defensive at times; if anger sometimes rises up from nowhere; if you blame-shift or gossip even once in a while—guess what? You need more healing. Emotional healing is key to our spiritual growth. It’s key to breaking free and living well. You can’t mature spiritually if you are wounded emotionally.

The way I grew up—and maybe you too—was the exact opposite of what God planned for us. God’s perfect plan is for all children to be raised and nurtured by godly parents. Our earthly father was meant to be a picture of Himself: loving, caring, protecting. Our parents were to lead us into a personal relationship with Christ, teach us the Word, take us to church and live godly lives before us. That was God’s perfect plan.

Unfortunately, that’s not how most of us grew up. Sin entered that perfect picture and perverted everything. Parents are more likely to pass on to their children the same brokenness and dysfunction in which their parents raised them. You can’t give what you yourself haven’t received. Satan is a very real enemy and he wants to destroy you any way he can—the younger the victim, the better he likes it.

When we don’t receive unconditional love and nurturing; when we get the exact opposite—abuse, criticism, anger, sarcasm, rejection—these things sink their roots deep into our souls. When you hear daily: “You always mess up… You can’t do anything right… You’re stupid… clumsy… ugly…” you fill in the blank—hear it enough and you begin to believe it. Inferiority sets in, self-hatred, fear, depression.

Rejection causes you live life by your feelings. Your emotions control you. You make wrong choices to accommodate your fears and insecurities, and life keeps getting worse.

But know this: God has healing for you! Not only does He want to heal you, He wants to be that perfect, loving Daddy to you. He wants to love you with a pure, healthy love. He wants to fill up all of the empty, broken places inside of you. He wants to make you whole.

Some of you are still carrying pain from things you experienced many years ago. Satan won big-time. He was the one in control of those bad situations or people who hurt you. I think it’s time to take back what’s been stolen, don’t you? It’s time you and I win. That’s what we’ll talk about next week: Solutions and strategies in the Healing Process.

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Remaining stable in an unstable world

November 23, 2019 Gaspar Anastasi

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Making positive change, Success & victory

We live in volatile times. Things that were once icons, pillars and immovable structures are changing overnight. Long-entrenched governments topple in hours. Peace quickly turns into riots and war zones spontaneously erupt. Yet, today’s unstable times were prophesied thousands of years ago.

God speaks of a time (I believe we’re there now) when people will “call evil good and good evil”. At a time like this, people without deep convictions will change their values, standards and way of living like the wind. We inherit our beliefs from our parents which are then molded my popular culture and social norms. They are further affected by our intimacy (or lack thereof) with God.

Anchored in Truth

Giving in to the pressures of today’s worldliness will only lead to instability. Unstable people are not grounded in the truth of the Gospel because it hasn’t become the foundation of their lives. They don’t have the anchor of the word to give them a deeper conviction than the inferior and immoral beliefs they’re being bombarded with daily. They don’t realize that they lack a moral compass. As it says in Matthew 7:13b: “…wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it.” In other words, the majority opinion is most often wrong!

However, people with a biblical world view and strong faith in God are usually stable. They aren’t vulnerable to the changing morals of the world. Because their lifestyle is established on God’s word, they’re unfortunately branded as old-fashioned and out of touch with the times.

But Jesus says in Matthew 5:10&11: “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake.”

The majority opinion today is anti-God and that mindset has crept into the 21st century Christian church. We have developed a compromised gospel to appease the marginal Christian and make friends with the world.

Preachers won’t speak biblical truth for fear of offending the very people they’re called to liberate with God’s word. The fear of the Lord has been replaced with the fear of man, but God is looking for people like you and me to shout from the rooftops what He has revealed in our hearts.

Will the real church please stand up!

Will the true church (Christ-like people) please stand up and be heard? God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind. Spiritual warfare is at its highest since the beginning of time because it’s Satan’s last stand. He is throwing whatever he has left at the church, but God is using this season to identify and hand-pick His remnant church to usher in the second coming of Jesus.

Please don’t give in. to the pressure that this upside-down world is throwing at you. keep standing! Ephesians 5:13 says: “Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.”

Ask yourself, “Am I stable in my convictions concerning God’s way of life for me? Or am I easily swayed by the immoral standards that are intellectually and logically presented to me, even by our government?” God is looking for stable people in an unstable world to build his kingdom. What will your choice be?…

The Esau Syndrome

May 11, 2019 Gaspar Anastasi

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Making positive change, Relationship with God, Success & victory

Esau, the first born, came in from hunting and said to his brother Jacob who was cooking pottage, “Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I’m famished!” Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright.” Esau said, “Look, I am about to die. What good is the birthright to me?” So he swore an oath, selling his birthright to Jacob for a bowl of stew. The Bible summarizes this heated exchange with one cold statement: “So Esau despised his birthright” (Gen. 25:34).

Position, Privilege and Power

As the firstborn and heir to his father’s fortune, Esau was to come into Position, Privilege and Power. That was his birthright. However, he wasn’t willing to wait.

Every day the enemy tempts us to compromise future blessings to meet an immediate emotional need. How often we Christians fall prey to the Esau Syndrome! How often we sell our place of Position, Privilege and Power to meet a carnal craving, a lustful appetite! Yet, only God satisfies.

Just like Esau, we reason, “What good is my birthright? I’m hungry now! Why wait? I need someone to love me now!” We see an opportunity to get what we think God wants to give us…but our way. So we close our eyes and leap into sin, emptiness and spiritual death, trying to meet our need instead of relying on God. Thus, the Esau Syndrome has crippled the body of Christ and made us dysfunctional.

No Shortcut to God’s Best

In God’s house there are no elevators, only steps. You must go through the steps He ordains in order to inherit the blessings He has prepared.

I know so many Christians who have promises from God, but they are not willing to allow God to take them on His journey in order to receive them. How sad that is! They end up losing everything for a pot of beans.

It’s like the weight lifter who wants the bulging muscles, so he takes steroids. He looks good on the outside, but inside his body is being destroyed.

Exodus 13:17 says that God led the children of Israel “not in the way of the Philistines.” There was a way to the promised land that was quicker, but in the shortcut, they would have dealt with the lusts of the flesh and they might have gone back to Egypt and into bondage.

Stop Selling Your Birthright

God is re-training us to trust Him rather than ourselves. He wants us to be led by His Spirit and not by our emotions.

Church, stop living out of your soul. Stop selling your birthright. Any time you try to be self-sufficient rather than God-sufficient, you go right back into bondage like before. Allow God to take you on the journey that will mature you. Don’t fall for the devil’s counterfeit. No shortcut will produce a Christ-like result in your life.

Have we not yet come to realize that, unless God meets our need, we will be left hungry and thirsty? Have we not hit enough dead ends to know that God has to bring it to pass? It takes a mature Christian to say no to the lusts of our flesh and yes to Jesus. Let’s be disciplined. Let it not be said of us, “So they despised their birthright.”…

Take back control of your life!

May 4, 2019 Gaspar Anastasi

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Success & victory

When a person who has offended and hurt you in the past suddenly comes into your presence, how do you react? For many of us, our mood immediately changes and we do everything possible to remove ourselves from their presence.

Past offenses left undealt-with make us vulnerable, allowing other people to control our life. We become slaves to our own feelings and emotions. If we don’t break free from the pain caused by those past offenses, our history will always show up in our destiny.

Living in the past hinders what God planned for our future, and also keeps God’s present and future blessings on layaway. Every time we react to emotions connected to those past hurts, its like eating dead things over and over again. Stop and release your enemies by forgiving.

Look at the birds

When you are constantly reminded and controlled by things that happened in the past, you are eating stuff you ought to be releasing. It won’t produce peace or joy. It just weighs you down.

Resentment makes us like a chicken that is earthbound because it can only fly a short distance. That’s because a chicken eats dead things (even its own feces) and is weighed down. In contrast, the eagle flies miles high and only eats things that are alive.

Holding on to offense does the same thing to us. We lose control of our life and give it to the person who offended us. It’s time to take back control by refusing to internalize what we ought to be releasing!

God gave us the ability to purge ourselves from offenses. His nature to forgive has now become our nature as Christians. It’s not unusual that the world struggles in this area. They are not equipped like we are.

Weakness vs. wickedness

Yet, why do Christians struggle? I believe it’s because we confuse wickedness with weakness. The person offending us doesn’t have to be wicked. Many times they’re just weak, unable to resist the temptation that caused them to make a wrong choice.

We should all sympathize because we all suffer from the same weakness. The problem is: Because we are the victim of their wrong decisions, we consider them wicked and hold on to the offense (and continually eat dead things).

The heavy price of unforgiveness

Our unforgiveness doesn’t affect them—but us. We want them to pay a heavy price for hurting us, but by dwelling on hurtful memories we are drinking poison. We are “stopped up”, spiritually hurting ourselves. Just like our natural body, when we don’t release what goes in us, our health is seriously affected. The solution? Purge ourselves by forgiving our offenders because we recognize their weakness is not wickedness.

God’s word says mercy will triumph over judgment. Sure, they may deserve to be punished, but so do you and I. But every day of our life, God’s mercy spares us the just punishment that we rightfully deserve!

Take back control of your life and allow God to bring you into the great destiny He has for you. Stop living like a chicken and start soaring like an eagle!

We love to hear from you! If this blog has been a blessing to you, please let us know by commenting below!…

Begin at the end.

April 27, 2019 Gaspar Anastasi

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Finding significance in life, Making positive change, Success & victory

What would you like your friends say about you when you die? That you were a person who loved God and loved people… that you were compassionate, always putting the needs of others before your own? Of course, you do! Unfortunately, for some of us that won’t be the case because we never planned the end from the beginning!

You see, when a Hollywood producer makes a movie, he or she always has the end in mind before they start production. They design the different segments of the movie, making sure they all lead to the desired ending. If one of the segments doesn’t fit the ending they planned, they pull it out and create one that does fit.

If you and I want our lives to have a great ending, we must likewise plan the different segments of our lives to produce the desired result.

Pay now and play later

I like to say it this way: If we pay now, we can play later. But that’s the opposite of what most people do! Good planning calls for great discipline and keeping the end well in sight. Like a movie producer, you and I get to control each act and dictate how it ends.

The key to a good ending is sticking to the script: the Word of God. Jesus is the Author and Finisher of our faith; He is also the Director of our life, as the Apostle Paul tells us in Hebrews 12:2.

An illustration

I heard a story of an old man who sat on a park bench every afternoon, reading the newspaper. One day a young man sat next to him and, after a few minutes, leaned over to the older gentleman and said, “Sir I’m sorry to interrupt you, but do you have the time?” After a long pause, the old man turned, said “No” and went on reading the paper.

The stunned young man interrupted him and said, “Sir, you have on a watch and I don’t understand why you would say ‘no’ to my request. Did I not ask you politely, or did I offend you in some way?”

The old man said, “Son, you seem like a very nice young man. If I told you the time, we may have gotten into a conversation. Then I might have come to like you and invited you to my house for dinner. When you came over, because you are a handsome young man, my single daughter, who is beautiful, probably would have been attracted to you and you to her. You’d ask her out and there would be a good chance that you would ask her to marry you. Well, I don’t want my daughter to marry somebody who can’t afford a watch.”

Keep the perfect ending in mind

Now that’s a little radical, but the truth is this: You’ll never reach your desired end unless you begin and arrange the rest of your life’s journey with the end in mind. God showed Jeremiah as a young man what his life’s journey was to look like, and Jeremiah kept that vision before him. Surely, our destiny can also be fulfilled if we keep our end goal in mind at all times.

Think about how you would like your obituary to read and the legacy you want your family to continue. Will the unfolding of your life’s script bring glory to God? Take the time today and plan your ending. Then begin at the end!…