As we discussed at the time, 2023 was a year of Divine Favor. But God’s favor is always available to His precious children who make Him a priority. Nowhere is divine favor more abundant and needed than in marriage. Let’s face it: Two people becoming one is impossible in our own strength. As couples, we have missed out on this crucial and rich heritage of divine favor that God set aside especially for us. So many of us have either been unaware of it or have lived without expectation that His favor will work in our marriage.

Divine favor is defined as unfair partiality (given by God), special privilege, and the supernatural capacity to accomplish things that you don’t have the ability or strength to do. Amazingly, you and I can be empowered by the Holy Spirit to both give divine favor to our mate and to receive divine favor from them. And when we do so, our marriages prosper exponentially.

Divine favor is unfair partiality (given by God), special privilege, and the supernatural capacity to accomplish things that you don’t have the ability or strength to do.

Favor in action

Here’s an example. Let’s say you have an argument with your mate, and it is severe enough that you want to separate. But suddenly, grace from God comes upon you to forgive with no strings attached! Not only do you close the door on satan to hurt your marriage further, but you open the door to reconciliation. You must recognize that something supernatural just happened. That was God releasing divine favor in you to accomplish what you couldn’t!

Or let’s say… you plan a much-needed getaway, but when the time comes, you don’t have enough money. Then, miraculously, the vacation destination lowers their rates for the time period you planned to go, and now you can make it. That is divine favor! In reality, you and I have been living with God’s unearned kindnesses all along, but without recognizing what it was and where it came from.

God makes His favor readily available for you every day of your life—multiple times a day. And don’t say, “I wish that were true” because it is! Below, I have listed steps that will secure your heritage of divine favor our Father intended for our marriages. Maybe you’ve been living outside of His abundant blessing and realize it’s time for a turnaround.

How to secure divine favor

1. Ask the Lord to forgive you for taking for granted His favor in your life and marriage. Too many of us live with an entitlement attitude—not being sufficiently grateful and humbled by God’s goodness.
2. Expect God’s favor to manifest in your home daily. His favor is your heritage as a believer in Christ. Rather than expecting trouble, anticipate goodness instead.
3. Recognize where divine favor comes from. It’s not your own doing. That’s pride. Just take note of the grace God gives you every day to live a successful marriage.
4. Get a bigger vision than just being happily married. Think about God’s kingdom and His purposes for your union. Recognize the much-needed example of marriage fulfillment you can provide to struggling couples.  
5. Seed favor into your mate and watch God multiply His abundance back to you through your mate.
6. Give your tithes and offerings. Keep your heart close to God by sharing with Him the fruits of your labor. Where your money is, that’s where your heart is (Matt. 6:21). Giving is especially key if you want God’s favor released in your finances.

Although God’s promises are “Yes” and “Amen” (2 Cor. 1:20), it takes our faith to make them a reality.

There it is! A strategy to receive God’s abundant favor in your marriage. Although God’s promises are “Yes” and “Amen” (2 Cor. 1:20), it takes our faith to make them a reality. I have lived married life with the abundance of favor that God made available for me… and I’ve also lived without it. Guess which I like best!

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Every marriage on planet earth is made up of people like you and me who make  a lot of mistakes. None of us is perfect. God knew that when He created us. In Isaiah 46:9-11, our loving Heavenly Father says He knows the end of our life before it begins. That means, every day, He wants to direct us onto the right path to travel. Even though, we often go our own way, He never gives up offering us opportunities for miracles in place of our mistakes. 

Admit your mistakes

In marriage, we often fail to admit our mistakes to God. Instead, we blame our mate or someone else for why we didn’t do the right thing. I know from experience that, if I get out of denial and admit my error (with the help of our mutual enemy satan), I might feel like a failure in the sight of God. And worse, that God would never work in the mess I made. Sound familiar?

However, the Lord, in His awesome love and understanding knows we aren’t perfect and has already made ways of escape for us. You could call them “premeditated miracles”.  When Jesus was dying on the cross, long before you and I ever knew Him or accepted Him as Lord and Savior, He prayed, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing”. Jesus understood that our human nature, corrupted by sin, would lead us to rebel against His plans for us. 

Master of storms

So when you find yourself angry at your mate (who seems to bring out the worse in you), know that God is in the midst of your storm. Sometimes He allows the storm to come your way. Why do I say that? 

Jesus sent His disciples out on a boat, into a storm, and then walked on the water to meet them where they were. According to Mark 6:48, He intended to go past them because they were not expecting Him. 

Are you expecting the Almighty God to show up during your storm? He called out to them, “Don’t be afraid. Take courage! I am here!” (Mark 6:50). The disciples weren’t expecting Jesus and thought He was a ghost.

Exactly what was God after, leading these men into a dangerous storm? He wanted them to change directions and follow the path to prosperity and freedom. The moment they invited Jesus into their boat, the storm ceased, and He led them to a totally different destination. 

Instead of a household of anger, filled with threats of divorce, God wants to change your direction into one of peace, safety, and happiness. Our Father wants to turn your mistakes into   miracles—if you’ll let Him. 

Although Jonah clearly heard from God, he went in the opposite direction. The prophet also wound up on a boat, and the Lord sent a storm after him (Jonah 1:4). Once the captain woke him, Jonah admitted to the terrified sailors that he was running from God’s direction and plan. 

Own it

When the sailors asked Jonah what could be done, he said, “Throw me into the sea, and it will become calm again. I know that this terrible storm is all my fault” (Jonah 1:12). 

Like most of us, Jonah probably thought, since he messed up, God would have nothing to do with him. Once the sailors threw the man of God off the boat, the storm immediately stopped. This gives us a hint why some marriages are in constant storms. One or both of us haven’t admitted our mistakes. And until we do, storms continue to rage.

Now God sent a big fish to swallow Jonah and take him back to his destiny: Getting Nineveh to repent of their sins. Once Jonah repented of his own disobedience, “Then the Lord ordered the fish to spit Jonah out onto the beach” (Jonah 2:10). Finally, God gave him the same message to preach again. 

Steps to your miracle

All of us, at one time or another, have heard from God what we should do and how we should act toward our mate. But, like this obstinate prophet, we decided to go a different direction. And God, in His faithfulness, sent storms in our lives to get our attention. 

1. The first step in getting your miracle out of your mistake is to get out of denial. 
2. The second step is: Don’t quit! Go back, listen to God, and know that He has a great plan— even amid your mistakes. He hasn’t turned his back on you. In fact, He has been there all along saying, “I’m here. Trust me, and follow me.” 
3. The third step is: Get a vision of where God wants to take you. Once they brought Jesus into the boat, the disciples changed direction and wound up in Gennesaret, a fruitful and prosperous place. 

God wants to take your marriage to a prosperous and fruitful place as well. Take the time to admit your mistakes to God and to your mate. This gets a release for the miracle in your marriage. Miracles are available to all of us if we will follow God’s plan. God’s love can never be turned off. He is always ready to turn your mistakes into miracles.

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A few weeks ago, I wrote about my struggle to overcome rejection. I’d like to share the flip side of rejection: Rebellion.

Rebellion: the result of rejection

Rebellion often results from rejection. If you get hurt in some way—any kind of emotional, physical, sexual abuse, or abandonment—it opens the door to rejection in your life.  If you don’t turn to God and let Him heal you, you sink deeper and deeper into pain and depression; and, eventually, rebellion kicks in.

You can even see this in some children who’ve been hurt over and over again. One day something snaps inside of them, and they vow: “I’m never going to cry again…. You can beat me to a pulp, but I won’t shed a tear.” A hardness grows inside of them.

That’s what I did as a child and, over the years, the anger and rebellion grew. I used my anger and defensiveness as a form of protection. It wasn’t until I came to Christ, that I started to realize what was going on inside of me.

Destruction: The result of rebellion

God tells us in Proverbs 29:1, “Whoever remains stiff-necked [rebellious] after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed without remedy.”

It’s not that God’s grace doesn’t extend to you anymore, or that He wouldn’t forgive you if you turned to Him. Rebellion hardens your heart until you can’t hear Him anymore.

Rebellion hardens your heart until you can’t hear God anymore.

That’s what happened to the children of Israel in the Old Testament. God would tell them what to do, and they wouldn’t do it. Of course, they felt they had good reason for refusing: They were full of fear and unbelief. They actually  believed if they did what God said, they would be destroyed. They didn’t trust Him.

“I just can’t do it, God… It’s too hard… I hurt too much… You don’t understand…   I’m so lonely… Yes, I know but….” It doesn’t matter how good you think your excuses are. Rebellion is going to cost you big time. It will harden your heart.

Wandering in your own personal wilderness

The children of Israel ignored God’s leading so often, that finally He just sent them into the wilderness. They were so rebellious He couldn’t lead them into the blessings He had planned for them. We need to learn from that. When God tells you what to do, don’t put it off, just do it.

The longer you stay in sinful habits, the more they become a part of you; the more your heart becomes calloused to the fact that it’s sin. The first time you blow up in a rage, you know it’s wrong and you’re sorry. The second time, it doesn’t bother you quite so much. The sixth time, you’re pretty sure you’re justified. Your heart hardening. That’s how strongholds form in people’s lives.

Wrong choices, wrong results

If you go against what God says, it won’t go well for you. You’re headed for destruction, because wrong choices always bring wrong results. God can’t bless what’s contrary to His Word.

The root sin of rejection is unbelief, a  lack of  trust in God. That’s why rejection will eventually lead to rebellion. If you believe that God cares about you, if you know He wants to bless you, then you’ll obey Him. But if you don’t trust Him, you’ll rebel.

I Samuel 15:23, tells us that rebellion is like the sin of witchcraft. Why? Because you’re making something else God, namely yourself. You’re saying, “I’ll do it my way, I’ll be the god of my life.… Yes Lord, I know what You want me to do, but I’m going to do it my way.” That’s rebellion!  The thing that guides your life–even if it’s you–is your god. (To be continued in next post.)

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