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Making miracles from mistakes

Every marriage on planet earth is made up of people like you and me who make  a lot of mistakes. None of us is perfect. God knew that when He created us. In Isaiah 46:9-11, our loving Heavenly Father says He knows the end of our life before it begins. That means, every day, He wants to direct us onto the right path to travel. Even though, we often go our own way, He never gives up offering us opportunities for miracles in place of our mistakes. 

Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish.  I will call a swift bird of prey from the east— a leader from a distant land to come and do my bidding. I have said what I would do, and I will do it.

Isaiah 46:9-11 (NLT)

Admit your mistakes

In marriage, we often fail to admit our mistakes to God. Instead, we blame our mate or someone else for why we didn’t do the right thing. I know from experience that, if I get out of denial and admit my error (with the help of our mutual enemy satan), I might feel like a failure in the sight of God. And worse, that God would never work in the mess I made. Sound familiar?

However, the Lord, in His awesome love and understanding knows we aren’t perfect and has already made ways of escape for us. You could call them “premeditated miracles”.  When Jesus was dying on the cross, long before you and I ever knew Him or accepted Him as Lord and Savior, He prayed, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing”. Jesus understood that our human nature, corrupted by sin, would lead us to rebel against His plans for us. 

God has premeditated miracles waiting for you.

BFLW 11-23-24
Improve your Self-Image. Get healed of Co-Dependency. Break the negative effects of Enabling. Attend this FREE Workshop by Dr. Gaspar Anastasi and Breaking Free Wellness Center Sat., November 23 at 10am, 1520 Royal Palm Square Blvd, Suite 320, Fort Myers. Register at (239)244-3912 or BreakingFreeCC.com

Master of storms

So when you find yourself angry at your mate (who seems to bring out the worse in you), know that God is in the midst of your storm. Sometimes He allows the storm to come your way. Why do I say that? 

Jesus sent His disciples out on a boat, into a storm, and then walked on the water to meet them where they were. According to Mark 6:48, He intended to go past them because they were not expecting Him. 

Are you expecting the Almighty God to show up during your storm? He called out to them, “Don’t be afraid. Take courage! I am here!” (Mark 6:50). The disciples weren’t expecting Jesus and thought He was a ghost.

Exactly what was God after, leading these men into a dangerous storm? He wanted them to change directions and follow the path to prosperity and freedom. The moment they invited Jesus into their boat, the storm ceased, and He led them to a totally different destination. 

“Don’t be afraid. Take courage! I am here!”

Mark 6:50

Instead of a household of anger, filled with threats of divorce, God wants to change your direction into one of peace, safety, and happiness. Our Father wants to turn your mistakes into   miracles—if you’ll let Him. 

Although Jonah clearly heard from God, he went in the opposite direction. The prophet also wound up on a boat, and the Lord sent a storm after him (Jonah 1:4). Once the captain woke him, Jonah admitted to the terrified sailors that he was running from God’s direction and plan. 

Own it

When the sailors asked Jonah what could be done, he said, “Throw me into the sea, and it will become calm again. I know that this terrible storm is all my fault” (Jonah 1:12). 

Like most of us, Jonah probably thought, since he messed up, God would have nothing to do with him. Once the sailors threw the man of God off the boat, the storm immediately stopped. This gives us a hint why some marriages are in constant storms. One or both of us haven’t admitted our mistakes. And until we do, storms continue to rage.

Until we admit our mistakes, storms will continue to rage.

Now God sent a big fish to swallow Jonah and take him back to his destiny: Getting Nineveh to repent of their sins. Once Jonah repented of his own disobedience, “Then the Lord ordered the fish to spit Jonah out onto the beach” (Jonah 2:10). Finally, God gave him the same message to preach again. 

BFLW-11-23-24
Improve your Self-Image. Get healed of Co-Dependency. Break the negative effects of Enabling. Attend this FREE Workshop by Dr. Gaspar Anastasi and Breaking Free Wellness Center Sat., November 23 at 10am, 1520 Royal Palm Square Blvd, Suite 320, Fort Myers. Register at (239)244-3912 or BreakingFreeCC.com

Steps to your miracle

All of us, at one time or another, have heard from God what we should do and how we should act toward our mate. But, like this obstinate prophet, we decided to go a different direction. And God, in His faithfulness, sent storms in our lives to get our attention. 

  1. The first step in getting your miracle out of your mistake is to get out of denial
  2. The second step is: Don’t quit! Go back, listen to God, and know that He has a great plan— even amid your mistakes. He hasn’t turned his back on you. In fact, He has been there all along saying, “I’m here. Trust me, and follow me.” 
  3. The third step is: Get a vision of where God wants to take you. Once they brought Jesus into the boat, the disciples changed direction and wound up in Gennesaret, a fruitful and prosperous place. 

God wants to take your marriage to a prosperous and fruitful place as well. Take the time to admit your mistakes to God and to your mate. This gets a release for the miracle in your marriage. Miracles are available to all of us if we will follow God’s plan. God’s love can never be turned off. He is always ready to turn your mistakes into miracles.


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Get used to different

Make no mistake about it. Two becoming one, as the Bible defines marriage, takes a lot of time, patience and hard work. And, interestingly, God designs us to attract someone who is different from—and sometimes the exact opposite of—us. In fact, it’s usually their “differentness” that we find so attractive. The love of your life probably has personality attributes and behaviors that you admire and don’t possess yourself.

A strength and a stumbling block

One thing I always admired about my wife was her ability to clearly communicate and express her feelings about everything—especially what she liked and didn’t like. I, on the other hand, came from a family where children should be seen and not heard. So I never developed that skill. 

Interestingly, the very things that attracted me to Michele were the same things that later became a stumbling block to our success and happiness. Communication was just one of our many variances. At some point, we concluded that, if our marriage was to succeed, we had to find ways to work out our differences. Now, as we approach 58 years of marriage, this process is still at work!

The very things that attracted me were the same things that later became a stumbling block to our success.

In truth, we wasted a good 10 years before we got serious about working at our marriage. If I knew then what I know now, I would have saved myself and my wife a whole lot of aggravation, pain and near-divorce. Have you discovered yet how you and your partner differ?

Many couples (too many) get divorced because they thought a trip to the altar would magically melt away all their problems. Why not, right? Our love should be more than enough. Others of us got married without a clue why. Oh, we thought we knew. But, in reality, we were attracted to their “differentness”. We admired the mystery—not knowing that these contrasts are a formula for trouble.

Improve your Self-Image. Get healed of Co-Dependency. Break the negative effects of Enabling. Attend this FREE Workshop by Dr. Gaspar Anastasi and Breaking Free Wellness Center Sat., November 23 at 10am, 1520 Royal Palm Square Blvd, Suite 320, Fort Myers. Register at (239)244-3912 or BreakingFreeCC.com

A daily dose of discovery

In a prior blog, I compared marriage to an automobile that needs regular maintenance—daily, in the case of marriage. If you neglect it, it will eventually demand your attention and investment just to work properly. Get used to a daily routine of discovery—discovering each other’s contrasts, then making the appropriate changes to accommodate the peace, joy and happiness you desire. 

YOU, yes you are to change to accommodate your husband or wife. That’s how oneness becomes a reality. When differences arise, you are NOT to do everything in your power to change your mate to accommodate you. God’s design is for us to work together, loving each other with His love and making changes to facilitate happiness and longevity. 

When differences arise, you should NOT do everything in your power to change your mate to accommodate you.

Dealing with different

  • First, celebrate your partner’s differences. God made you dissimilar on purpose. 
  • Next, make it clear that you are not trying to change them into a replica of you. Imagine two of you living together with all the same faults and behavior issues. It would be a disaster! 
  • Finally, get a strategy you both agree on to work at your union. It could be:
    • reading a book on marriage together a little bit every day, even taking turns reading to each other. 
    • praying together for each other every morning and meditating on the same scripture daily. 
    • Or you could do all of the above. It really wouldn’t take that long. 

Get a vision to work toward

Marriage is a long-term investment. Plan to consistently work at it for the rest of your life. Your work will pay great dividends, and it won’t be long before you see results. There is one other step that I believe is mandatory in everybody’s marriage. 

Begin setting goals for what you both want to accomplish in the next 6 months. After 6 months, review your list, checking off your achievements. Then set new goals for the next 6 months. The Bible says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish…”. Without a vision (for yourself or your marriage), you will fail, stagnate and eventually give up. 

So, what are you waiting for? Start working at your marriage, even if your partner is not ready yet. Work on you. There is power in one. And, before long, your mate will join you. The best is still yet to come!

Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.

Proverbs 29:18, KJV

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Why your marriage needs a vision

Many married couples never actually grow in oneness. Nor do they experience the true joy in marriage God intended. Why? They have no vision. Meanwhile, Proverbs 29:18 says “Where there is no vision the people perish.” That literally means “my people accomplish nothing; nor have a real purpose in life.”  

When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful.

Proverbs 29:18 (NLT)

You have a purpose together

A vision acts like railroad tracks that your life runs on. It provides stability, direction, a known destiny and, most importantly, it provides purpose. Without these elements, a marriage will be—at best—stuck in a rut… going around in circles. At its worst—headed for destruction and divorce. 

Make no mistake: Every marriage has a God-given purpose. The vision is simply one of the ways God speaks to us about our purpose. He brought you together for a reason. The vision reveals the direction and steps you are to take to fulfill His reason or purpose. 

Ways to envision

Thoughts, dreams, imaginations and visual downloads of things yet to come… These are all ways that God reveals His vision for you as a couple. Now these visions will often seem impossible. That’s normal. If it were possible without God, it wouldn’t be from God. The Almighty specializes in the impossible, but He needs our cooperation. Our part is to believe and act in faith for what He shows us.

God always speaks the end from the beginning—showing us what our future could look like; giving you a vision for what it could be; and then encouraging you to act on the plan with Him by setting goals to get there. This requires you to spend time together praying and dreaming about what your marriage could be and, most importantly, what God truly wants it to be. 

Join us for one of our most powerful workshops yet! It’s FREE, but please register at BreakingFreeCC.com or call (239) 244-3912. 1520 Royal Palm Square Blvd, Suite 320, Ft Myers

Create a vision board

A while back, Michele and I made up a vision board which expresses our envisioned destiny through pictures and words. We decided what we believed God wanted to accomplish through our marriage and then found pictures and words that expressed those God-inspired ideas. We then glued them on a large tag board so that we could keep God’s vision for our marriage before our eyes daily. 

Remember, a vision is God’s road map that leads us to a chosen destination (a married life of success and fulfillment). 

Fight, fight, fight

However, know this: Our enemy satan will do everything he can to keep couples at odds with each other and distracted with a cluttered life, so that we don’t reach God’s destiny for us. 

Fight through all those distractions. And set aside time to come together with the purpose of hearing from God. Make it a priority. This act of agreement helps Him to download His vision for your marriage. 

A vision is God’s road map that leads us to a chosen destination (a married life of success and fulfillment). 

Start where you are

You might not see very far in the beginning, but start anyway.  As you are faithful with what He initially shows you, God will increase your ability to hear and see even more of His destiny for you as a team. Remember, it will take the both of you to hear clearly what God has planned for your marriage. 

As you journey into getting God’s vision for your marriage, let us know how it worked out. What were some of the obstacles you encountered, and how did you overcome them? Michele and I look forward to hearing from you!


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Get on the same team

The enemy’s job is to divide and conquer, and he is pretty good at it. As married couples, it is our job to be vigilant and stand strong against satan’s tactics. Allowing him to divide us as husband and wife is one of the most damaging things that can happen in a marriage. Even when you and your mate disagree, that conflict should never leave the house and be presented before other people. Satan is always looking for an open door. He knows that a house divided against itself will fall (Luke 11:17).

Don’t go public

When I was young, our family owned a wholesale Italian bakery, and I worked with my father in the business. It was a large company, very popular in the New York area. One important lesson I learned—besides how to run a business and how to work hard—was the importance of maintaining unity in the partnership. My father’s partners were his four brothers.

Being brothers, from time to time, they would get into disagreements about how the business should be run. I remember one time my father and his older brother were really going at it. The argument got so heated, I thought it might get physical. But just at that moment when their voices were at the highest decibel, a stranger walked in uninvited and took my uncle’s side.

I’ll never forget it. At that moment, my uncle immediately stopped fighting my father and turned on the stranger. Even though the man was on my uncle’s side, my uncle wouldn’t let him divide family, no matter how mad he was at my father. That was the unwritten law among the Anastasi brothers. Even though they had differences among themselves, no outsider was allowed to come between them. 

…Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall.

— Luke 11:17
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Do you battle failure? Rejection? Loneliness? Loss of identity? Register today for this great new workshop at (239) 537-7112 or visit BreakingFreeCC.com. $25 Registration includes continental breakfast and workbook.

Present a united front

My uncle’s response presents a valuable lesson for all married couples to embrace. No matter how bitterly you disagree, never let your differences be seen or heard outside of your home. Satan is always looking to divide you and, given the opportunity, he will enlist people to help him who have absolutely “no skin in the game”. Now I’m not suggesting that you ignore your differences, but rather always present a united front. You and your mate’s business is your business—no one else’s. When you solicit outsiders to take your side in marital conflicts, you invite the devil himself to war against your union. So many marriages are severely damaged by this very thing. 

You might say, “Pastor, you don’t know how much I’m hurting.” Maybe not, but you won’t get your conflict resolved by inviting people in. We’re not fighting against flesh and blood, but against demonic forces that are absolutely opposed to your marriage and looking for ways to help it fail (Eph. 6:12). Let me be clear that I’m not talking about counseling with a professional. If your marriage needs counseling, please get it. 

When you solicit outsiders to take your side in marital conflicts, you invite the devil himself to war against your union. 

Let unity attract God

So fight the temptation to expose your problems to the outside world. Instead, be a faithful team member and, at all cost, don’t take your marriage problems public.

Presenting a united front, even when there is conflict behind the scenes, will release the presence of God in the situationGod is attracted to unity. Remember, you and your spouse are on the same team. The help that you need to resolve conflict and go deeper in unity won’t come from the natural realm, but the spiritual. Your help comes from the Holy Spirit Himself. You, your mate, and the Holy Spirit are all on the same team, and a three-fold chord is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). 

And though one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

—Ecclesiastes 4:12, AMP

We would love to hear from you! If this blog has been a blessing to you, please comment below.…

Become fluent in love

Twenty years ago, Dr. Gary Chapman wrote his bestseller “The Five Love Languages”. We read it back then and, over the years, have even taught the principles in our marriage groups. We found that Chapman’s insights are key to building intimacy and understanding in marriage. I highly recommend it if you’ve never read it.

The book explains five ways people give and receive love: 1. words of affirmation, 2. acts of service, 3. physical touch, 4. quality time, and 5. receiving gifts. Every person has at least one primary love language. But rarely does a couple share the same one which, of course, complicates things. It’s as if you speak English and your spouse only understands Portuguese. Because you express your love for them in your language, they can’t understand or receive it. 

Every person has at least one primary love language. But rarely does a couple share the same one…

The Five Love Languages

Commit to learning

My primary love language is words of affirmation, with acts of service running a close second. If Gaspar brings me flowers and candy, that’s nice. But they don’t touch my heart like him looking deep into my eyes and saying, “Michele, you’re amazing!”…and then helping me clean out the garage. Crazy right? But that’s what floats my boat.

So often in marriage, both partners feel a lack of intimacy. Each is frustrated that their needs aren’t being met. For instance, you can feel unloved even though your spouse thinks they’re lavishing affection on you. That’s because they are speaking their own love language, totally oblivious to yours.

Intimacy doesn’t come naturally. Couples need to become students of each other and never quit learning. The better you know your partner’s likes, dislikes, desires, frustrations, joys, and love language, the deeper and closer your intimacy becomes. 

Do you battle failure? Rejection? Loneliness? Loss of identity? Register today for this great new workshop at (239) 537-7112 or visit BreakingFreeCC.com. $25 Registration includes continental breakfast.

Intimacy takes time

Developing intimacy takes spending quality time together, sharing your hearts, your feelings, thoughts and needs with each other. It doesn’t happen amid texts and rushed conversations. Before long and without considerable effort, problems arise and rejection creeps in. 

Couples need to become students of each other and never quit learning.

Do everything you can to develop and protect the intimacy in your marriage. Putting in the work to better understand each other is the ultimate labor of love and will benefit every part of your relationship. I always want to share resources with you that have helped our marriage, and “The Five Love Languages” certainly has. We know and love each other better because of it. Thank you, Dr. Chapman.


We love hearing from you! If you were blessed by this blog, why not leave a comment below?…

Get used to different

Make no mistake about it. Two becoming one, as the Bible defines marriage, takes a lot of time, patience and hard work. And, interestingly, God designs us to attract someone who is different from—and sometimes the exact opposite of—us. In fact, it’s usually their “differentness” that we find so attractive. The love of your life probably has personality attributes and behaviors that you admire and don’t possess yourself.

A strength and a stumbling block

One thing I always admired about my wife was her ability to clearly communicate and express her feelings about everything—especially what she liked and didn’t like. I, on the other hand, came from a family where children should be seen and not heard. So I never developed that skill. 

Interestingly, the very things that attracted me to Michele were the same things that later became a stumbling block to our success and happiness. Communication was just one of our many variances. At some point, we concluded that, if our marriage was to succeed, we had to find ways to work out our differences. Now, as we approach 56 years of marriage, this process is still at work!

The very things that attracted me were the same things that later became a stumbling block to our success.

In truth, we wasted a good 10 years before we got serious about working at our marriage. If I knew then what I know now, I would have saved myself and my wife a whole lot of aggravation, pain and near-divorce. Have you discovered yet how you and your partner differ?

Many couples (too many) get divorced because they thought a trip to the altar would magically melt away all their problems. Why not, right? Our love should be more than enough. Others of us got married without a clue why. Oh, we thought we knew. But, in reality, we were attracted to their “differentness”. We admired the mystery—not knowing that these contrasts are a formula for trouble.

Bishop Gaspar & Michele Anastasi founded Breaking Free Wellness Center to bring Christ-centered Counseling and Coaching to our community. Visit BreakingFreeCC.com or call (239) 244-3912 for FREE Consultation.

A daily dose of discovery

In a prior blog, I compared marriage to an automobile that needs regular maintenance—daily, in the case of marriage. If you neglect it, it will eventually demand your attention and investment just to work properly. Get used to a daily routine of discovery—discovering each other’s contrasts, then making the appropriate changes to accommodate the peace, joy and happiness you desire. 

YOU, yes you are to change to accommodate your husband or wife. That’s how oneness becomes a reality. When differences arise, you are NOT to do everything in your power to change your mate to accommodate you. God’s design is for us to work together, loving each other with His love and making changes to facilitate happiness and longevity. 

When differences arise, you should NOT do everything in your power to change your mate to accommodate you.

Dealing with different

  • First, celebrate your partner’s differences. God made you dissimilar on purpose. 
  • Next, make it clear that you are not trying to change them into a replica of you. Imagine two of you living together with all the same faults and behavior issues. It would be a disaster! 
  • Finally, get a strategy you both agree on to work at your union. It could be:
    • reading a book on marriage together a little bit every day, even taking turns reading to each other. 
    • praying together for each other every morning and meditating on the same scripture daily. 
    • Or you could do all of the above. It really wouldn’t take that long. 

Get a vision to work toward

Marriage is a long-term investment. Plan to consistently work at it for the rest of your life. Your work will pay great dividends, and it won’t be long before you see results. There is one other step that I believe is mandatory in everybody’s marriage. 

Begin setting goals for what you both want to accomplish in the next 6 months. After 6 months, review your list, checking off your achievements. Then set new goals for the next 6 months. The Bible says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish…”. Without a vision (for yourself or your marriage), you will fail, stagnate and eventually give up. 

So, what are you waiting for? Start working at your marriage, even if your partner is not ready yet. Work on you. There is power in one. And, before long, your mate will join you. The best is still yet to come!

Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.

Proverbs 29:18, KJV

If you have been blessed by this blog, please comment below. We love hearing from you!

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