Learn to move in divine favor

As we discussed last year, 2023 was the year of Divine Favor. But God’s favor is always available to His precious children who make Him a priority. Nowhere is divine favor more abundant and needed than in marriage. Let’s face it: Two people becoming one is impossible in our own strength. As couples, we have missed out on this crucial and rich heritage of divine favor that God set aside especially for us. So many of us have either been unaware of it or have lived without expectation that His favor will work in our marriage.

Divine favor is defined as unfair partiality (given by God), special privilege, and the supernatural capacity to accomplish things that you don’t have the ability or strength to do. Amazingly, you and I can be empowered by the Holy Spirit to both give divine favor to our mate and to receive divine favor from them. And when we do so, our marriages prosper exponentially.

Divine favor is unfair partiality (given by God), special privilege, and the supernatural capacity to accomplish things that you don’t have the ability or strength to do.

Favor in action

Here’s an example. Let’s say you have an argument with your mate, and it is severe enough that you want to separate. But suddenly, grace from God comes upon you to forgive with no strings attached! Not only do you close the door on satan to hurt your marriage further, but you open the door to reconciliation. You must recognize that something supernatural just happened. That was God releasing divine favor in you to accomplish what you couldn’t!

Or let’s say… you plan a much-needed getaway, but when the time comes, you don’t have enough money. Then, miraculously, the vacation destination lowers their rates for the time period you planned to go, and now you can make it. That is divine favor! In reality, you and I have been living with God’s unearned kindnesses all along, but without recognizing what it was and where it came from.

God makes His favor readily available for you every day of your life—multiple times a day. And don’t say, “I wish that were true” because it is! Below, I have listed steps that will secure your heritage of divine favor our Father intended for our marriages. Maybe you’ve been living outside of His abundant blessing and realize it’s time for a turnaround.

How to secure divine favor

1. Ask the Lord to forgive you for taking for granted His favor in your life and marriage. Too many of us live with an entitlement attitude—not being sufficiently grateful and humbled by God’s goodness.
2. Expect God’s favor to manifest in your home daily. His favor is your heritage as a believer in Christ. Rather than expecting trouble, anticipate goodness instead.
3. Recognize where divine favor comes from. It’s not your own doing. That’s pride. Just take note of the grace God gives you every day to live a successful marriage.
4. Get a bigger vision than just being happily married. Think about God’s kingdom and His purposes for your union. Recognize the much-needed example of marriage fulfillment you can provide to struggling couples.  
5. Seed favor into your mate and watch God multiply His abundance back to you through your mate.
6. Give your tithes and offerings. Keep your heart close to God by sharing with Him the fruits of your labor. Where your money is, that’s where your heart is (Matt. 6:21). Giving is especially key if you want God’s favor released in your finances.

Although God’s promises are “Yes” and “Amen” (2 Cor. 1:20), it takes our faith to make them a reality.

There it is! A strategy to receive God’s abundant favor in your marriage. Although God’s promises are “Yes” and “Amen” (2 Cor. 1:20), it takes our faith to make them a reality. I have lived married life with the abundance of favor that God made available for me… and I’ve also lived without it. Guess which I like best!

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It’s not what it looks like

A great marriage takes a lot of work. Too many people give up when the going gets tough. And by doing so, they miss out on the tremendous blessing that God has designed for them as a couple. 

We hear a lot of negative things, especially today, about how bad it is being married. But you don’t hear very much about the good that a godly marriage produces in a person’s life. The problem is: We look at marriage through a wrong lens. It’s really not what it looks like. 

What’s happiness got to do with it?

The same erroneous viewpoint that dominates the world today also dominates our marriages. This view tells us that the main goal of marriage is “happiness”. Happiness comes, and happiness goes. Therefore, starting off a marriage with happiness as the goal will ultimately lead to disaster. It’s not that happiness is a bad thing, but it is dependent on so many other factors in the marriage going right. 

Starting off a marriage with happiness as the goal will ultimately lead to disaster.

Because we are two different people, we will invariably rub each other the wrong way. Happiness during those times is usually the last thing you will experience. But that doesn’t make your marriage a failure—not unless happiness was your main goal. 

Discover a greater love

Working out our differences and resolving conflict in our marriage with the help of the Holy Spirit not only produces a greater love and respect for one another but, in the end, it bears the fruitfulness of happiness. 

So happiness can come and go throughout years of marriage. That’s because of the need to develop oneness and spiritual growth in our lives and in our mutual bond. So maybe our definition of happiness needs to change, because it’s not what it looks like. 

Happiness in God’s eyes is two people learning to put Him in the center of their lives and union. It happens when, as a couple, we put the interest of our mate and our marriage before our own and gain the capacity to be selfless—not selfish. 

Happiness is not what it looks like through our natural understanding: Me first and you second. The thinking that goes “As long as I am happy, then and only then do we have a good marriage—no matter how you feel”. That thinking is absolutely wrong. It even sounds kind of ridiculous but, honestly, that’s how most of us live. So how can we turn this around and line ourselves up with God’s concept of happiness?  

The beauty of shared values

First of all, we need to decide what our values are and how necessary they are in our ability to enjoy a happy marriage. Understand that happiness isn’t a value, but the result of having defined values that both of us agreement with.

Understand that happiness isn’t a value, but the result of having defined values that both of you agreement with.

Let me list some of the values that are in our marriage. 

Value #1: Our relationship with God is our top priority—not only individually but also—as a couple. So Michele and I pray together, study together, teach together, go to church together…. All these shared values produce a lot of happiness in our lives. Can you see how knowing and applying your values create boundaries in your marriage which produce the fruit of happiness? 

Let’s talk about another value that Michele and I share that greatly enriches our marriage. It is the value of honoring one another. 

Value #2: Honoring each other includes understanding our likes and dislikes, our interests, wants and needs. This value hinges on communication which brings us into a greater oneness with each other. And unity produces the fruit of happiness. 

Again, notice how happiness isn’t the main goal, but living together with shared values produces a high level of happiness. Can you see that? 

Define your shared values

What are your values? Can you list at least 3 that you and your spouse agree on and are striving to live out? What do you think it would take to change your focus from pursuing “happiness” to pursuing godly values as your road map to a successful marriage? What do you think is the greatest stumbling block to accomplishing that?

Why not take a moment to comment? We love to hear from you.…

A season of repositioning

When Hurricane Ian hit Southwest Florida on September 30, 2022, it became the costliest and one of the deadliest in state history.  That storm changed so many things that it made me take a closer look at my life. I think the same thing happens when we hit a wall in our marriage. You could call it a marriage hurricane. During a season like that, there is no place to go but forward. 

Everything that happens in our lives comes through the hands of God— whether good or bad. The most important thing to concentrate on at this time is how we can cooperate with God to fulfill His destiny for our marriage. 

Everything that happens in our lives comes through the hands of God— whether good or bad.

A lesson from Isaiah

I think of the prophet Isaiah who ministered to four kings of Judah during his lifetime. In Isaiah 6:1, the prophet tells us that King Uzziah died. As God’s voice to the nation, Isaiah would guide kings into God’s will. But at this moment there is no king to serve, none to guide. At this moment, this godly man gets a fresh revelation of the God he would speak for for years. He sees the Lord “sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple (v. 4).” Judah lost their king, but in the process Isaiah rediscovered THE KING.

He had a new vision of the same God he had been serving for years—and a new vision of himself. The storm in his life caused him to seek God like never before. 

That’s what we need to do when we hit a wall in our marriages. We can’t solve our problems by our wisdom, intellect, or natural ability alone. It’s only through the Lord. You and I need to see Him in a different way, even in a different form. We get used to putting God in a box, expecting Him to do the same things He did in our marriage in past seasons.  

Judah lost their king, but in the process Isaiah rediscovered THE KING.

See God anew

How big and powerful is your God? Too often we make wrong decisions in marriage because we haven’t seen God clearly enough in our own lives—much less in our relationship. God will sometimes allow storms to come into our marriage to get us to rethink our position with Him. That is His way of pushing us to seek Him deeper. Problems give us that option. Now I say “option” because it’s a choice. Each of us must choose to put aside everything and pursue God with all our heart. 

Usually, life is filled with more pleasant options and distractions the devil conveniently provides. Storms remove those options. God might move out of your life ungodly counselors for a period. In their place, He may insert a new desire to cry out to God for help. He might close the door to the escape plan you prepared in case your marriage failed. Our loving Father could allow you to lose a job and suffer financial loss. He may simply insert a new desire and passion for your mate. 

No matter what storms bring into your marriage, God’s hand is in it. He wants you to seek Him and get a fresh revelation of who He is in your life and marriage. He wants you to really know that if God is for you, no enemy can proper against you (Rom. 8:31). And greater is He that’s in you than he that’s in the world (I John 4:4). 

God wants you to know that you can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens you (Phil. 4:13). 

 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13

God’s plan for your marriage

Once you have a new outlook concerning God and who you are in Him, your marriage can be repositioned for a great turnaround. It’s never too late to make your marriage great. And a great marriage is our God’s plan for the both of you. But if the storm doesn’t rage and our backs aren’t against the wall, would we be willing to reposition ourselves for greater blessings? The very thing we think is a curse may turn out to be a great blessing! Do the right thing in the season of trouble. Let God reposition you. The best is yet to come!

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