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Posts by Gaspar Anastasi

Reap the right rewards

How to reap the right rewards

March 19, 2022 Gaspar Anastasi
0 Comment
Finding direction, Forgiveness, Making positive change, Marriage

When you were growing up, somebody taught you how to ride a bike and drive a car. But I bet they never showed you how to live happily ever after. Yet God desires that you and I live—not just a good marriage—but a GREAT one. And, fortunately, He hasn’t left it up to us to accomplish. He yearns to co-labor with you to make it happen… if you’ll let Him. 

Even though as Christians we can access God’s help, we mostly go it alone. So after a while, some of us conclude that a successful marriage is a myth. But I have good news for you: A great marriage is not a pipe dream. It can be your reality! 

A great marriage is not a pipe dream. It can be your reality! 

An amazing spiritual law

God has set into motion the amazing spiritual law of sowing and reaping, which can radically change your relationship for the better. When applied the right way, the law of sowing and reaping guarantees marriage success. Misapply it and it could actually make your marriage worse. 

Notice we sow first, then reap. Sowing requires giving something—whether words spoken or deeds done. Every time we sow we are assured a result. Of course, if you plant something bad or ungodly, you can expect the same in return. So mishandling the law works against you. 

The law of sowing and reaping was meant for us to increase in peace, harmony, joy, love, romance, understanding and prosperity. But a failure to understand this law has caused catastrophic results for many married couples. So let’s get it straight today. 

Bring your problems to the caring compassionate counselors and coaches at Breaking Free Wellness Center. We can help.

Fruit in action

Here’s how to use this law on purpose in a positive way. Let’s say you want your mate to show you more respect and honor than they presently do. Through your words and good deeds, you would start sowing seeds of respect and honor into your mate—whether or not they reciprocate. Now you have just planted seeds that God will water; and He guarantees that it will bring you a 30, 60, or 100-fold harvest of fruit, the same kind you sowed. Blessings of respect and honor will begin to flow out of your mate toward you. 

Wow! It’s that simple with every good seed that we sow. God wants to co-labor with you in your marriage. Why not let Him by putting this spiritual law into practice on purpose in a positive way?  

 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.

‑ Galatians 6:7

On the other hand, you may have been sowing negative seeds, unaware that this powerful spiritual law was at work. Now that you know, you can turn it around and work this law for the benefit of your marriage. Start right now planting love, peace, affection, encouragement and good deeds into your mate. 

A due season harvest

Be patient. Whether your relationship is good or “borderline hopeless”, diligently apply God’s law, and in due season you will begin to see amazing results working in your marriage. With God nothing is impossible! Patiently sow good, and within a month’s time your marriage can become all that you dreamed.  

Start by asking God to forgive you for sowing bad seeds like criticism, unforgiveness, bitterness, coldness, etc. into your mate in the past. With that kind of seed, your marriage can’t grow better, only worse. 

Discover the power of one

All it takes is one of you to begin using this spiritual law the right way to turn your whole marriage around for the better. All the things you complain about, things your mate does or doesn’t do that irk you will turn around and become a blessing—in less than a month. 

Why wait for your husband or wife to make the first move? Start sowing into your marriage right now! You’ll see the power of one that God has offered to you. He wants to co-labor with you in your marriage to bring true fulfillment for the both of you. It only takes one to start the process. Why not you? Why not now? 

We love hearing from you! If this blog has been a blessing to you, please take a moment to comment below.

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couple in the airport

Watch out for the enemy you don’t see

March 5, 2022 Gaspar Anastasi
3 Comments
Making positive change, Marriage, Success & victory

Michele and I just started a 10-week Sacred Marriage course dealing with what I believe is one of satan’s greatest tools to destroy marriages today. Stress. It’s a major reason people’s lives are cut short. We know that heart attacks, mental illness, suicide, and drug abuse result from living with high levels of stress. But let’s talk specifically about how it affects your marriage. 

Hidden danger

Stress is present in everybody’s life, but it mostly goes unnoticed. We are so used to living with tension that, unless it reaches a breaking point, we don’t pay much attention. Meanwhile, stress quietly damages us individually and maritally. 

Stress quietly damages us individually and maritally.

Think about it. We marry somebody who is our total opposite. Just the fact that females are completely different from males is enough to create stress. Now factor in the different cultures and belief systems we grew up with. Then add the many changes and adjustments required of us just to live in harmony together. That’s a HUGE amount of stress every day!  Yet, you may not even detect it as the cause of your marriage troubles. 

Good-Better
It’s never too late (or too early) to make your marriage great! Call (239)244-3912 or visit our website.

Wounded love

Stress affects our spirit from which God’s unconditional love flows. Pressure shuts down, wounds, or causes our spirit to fall asleep. The enduring love that God placed in us for our mate is then turned off. So that leaves us with only the human kind of love that is easily offended and withdrawn. 

Most of the time, couples deal with the symptoms of their problems but rarely the roots. Marital stress results in bad attitudes, jealousy, criticism, unforgiveness and bitterness toward each other. We can sense the world closing in on us and feel our backs against the wall. These bad feelings lead us to make bad choices. Unfortunately, many effects of those unwise decisions can never be undone.

So what can couples do since stress has become part of our married lifestyle? 

Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, and He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].

Proverbs 3:5-6 (AMP)

To start the healing process:

  1. Accept the man or woman you married. Make a conscious decision to stop trying to force your spouse to be what you want. Your husband or wife might not do everything right; but changing them is God’s job—not yours. That alone will immediately eliminate 50% of your stress. If God wanted another you, He would have created one. Trying to control your mate just causes more stress in the marriage and separation between the two of you. 
  2. Trust God to form your mate into the partner you need. In the meantime, love them unconditionally without compromising your own values. And watch what God can do! While Jesus slept in a boat on the stormy sea, His disciples stressed and feared they would die (Mark 4:35-41). But Jesus was resting in the will of God which was to take them to other side. Jesus trusted His Father’s heart concerning His destiny. Do you?
  3. Find your resting place in God and your marriage. Jesus woke up and asked His disciples (in my words), “Why are you so stressed out? Where is your faith and trust in God for your life?” Your marriage may not be where you want it, but rest in God (Prov. 3:5-6). Our Father provided you with a resting place in Him; you need to find it. When you let stress push you to control your mate and the direction of your marriage, it opens the door for satan to divide and separate. Simply trust and believe that God is with you and that His promise for your marriage will come to pass. Rest alleviates stress. 

Finally, get your hands off your marriage. Put yourself and your mate back in God’s hands. Remember “what God has put together (not you), let no man put asunder”.

We love hearing from you! If this blog has been a blessing to you, please take a moment to comment below.…

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couple in the outdoors

Your way or the High way

February 19, 2022 Gaspar Anastasi
2 Comments
God's love, Marriage

A lot of things can go wrong in marriage, but there is one sure solution to every problem we face: God’s love. It is the supernatural power of God that has been deposited in every born again Christian’s heart. Then why are there so many divorces in the Church? Sad to say, but there are statistically as many divorces among us as there are among non-Christians. So what is the problem? 

God’s love sees only good

For one thing, many of us aren’t living out of our spirit where God’s power dwells. Instead, we act and react primarily out of our soul (feelings and emotions). We get offended easily and are quick to build walls between us. Many of our marriages have become like the Dead Sea in Israel: totally stagnant and lifeless. The Dead Sea lets water in, but not out. So every living thing in it dies. Likewise, many Christian couples received God’s love shed abroad in their heart the moment they accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior. But they are not releasing His love to each other, and in many cases their marriages are dying. 

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

—Isaiah 55:9

Let me define this all-powerful agape love, God’s love. Notice it’s, first of all, Father God’s love—not yours or mine. We don’t produce it, but we carry it in our born again spirits. Secondly, it’s supernatural in the sense that it is unconditional and unlimited. That means it is not determined by your mate’s behavior, responses and mistakes. Agape love only sees the good in your spouse and their God-given value. Agape love can’t be turned off.

Two become one
It’s never too late (or too early) to make your marriage great! Call (239)244-3912 or visit our website.

God’s love heals

When released toward one another, agape love brings healing wherever needed.  The word of God says His love, whenever applied, never fails to bring healing, unity, peace, forgiveness and wholeness to marriage. Remember, it can only flow from your born again spirit, which means we must be aware of living out our daily lives from our spirit not just our soul (feelings and emotions). 

This supernatural love is available to every Christian marriage. But, sadly, very few of us tap into it. One reason is that we don’t know we have it. But there is another more sinister reason we don’t love like God loves, and that’s selfishness. The husband and the wife each want their own way. We lose sight of God’s plan for us which is true oneness and unity, and which occur whenever we as a couple release God’s presence and power. However, many of us are willing to forgo this wonderful gift of unity just to have our own way. 

Many of us are willing to forgo this wonderful gift of unity just to have our own way.

God’s love is unbeatable

It does take crucifying our flesh, dying to our own ways and choosing God’s way. There is nothing that arises in your marriage that God’s love flowing through you can’t overcome. You must choose to be in touch with your spirit every day. And that can happen only by connecting with God by reading His word and praising Him daily. 

There is one other major factor to successfully walking in God’s agape love: Being baptized in the Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit who sheds God’s love in our heart, and it is the Holy Spirit that empowers us to release His unconditional love to our mates every day. Loving someone unconditionally and continuously without the baptism of the Holy Spirit is like trying to put out a five-alarm fire with a bucket of water. By contrast, the baptism of the Holy Spirit is like a forceful stream of water from a high-powered hydrant. 

God’s love flows from the Holy Spirit

You can’t produce the God-kind-of-love with your own willpower. Only the Holy Spirit can effectively release it through your life. You have it, but are you letting it flow every day? Or are you letting the little foxes spoil the vine of your marriage? Do you find that, instead of overcoming daily problems and enjoying each other, you’re steeped in bitterness… on the verge of separation… even divorce? 

Don’t live married single lives! Start tapping into God’s unconditional agape love. It will radically alter your attitude, behavior and even your desires when it comes to your marriage. It’s up to you, because God has given you the greatest power known to mankind, and that is His own love. Instead of fighting for your own way, choose HIS way.

Please leave a comment below. We love to hear from you!

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couple smiling

Maintaining a well oiled marriage

February 5, 2022 Gaspar Anastasi
5 Comments
Marriage, Success & victory

Without God at the center, a successful, prosperous marriage is impossible. His presence is the oil that makes everything run smoothly. His strength and courage help us keep on keeping on even when things seem impossible. Without His presence being manifested, we are left trying to have a happy marriage—guided only by our faults, limitations, and past failures. 

Without His presence being manifested, we are left trying to have a happy marriage—guided only by our faults, limitations, and past failures.

You and I are like Adam and Eve who walked away from God’s presence after choosing to do things their own way. Right away, this first couple recognized their nakedness and tried to hide behind fig leaves. This represents the shame of living in sin and apart from God. 


Let Breaking Free Counseling help you get your marriage back on track! Call (239)244-3912 or visit our website.

Time for an oil change

God’s presence is like the engine oil that constantly lubricates all the various moving parts of your car. You see, when we’re dating and during the honeymoon phase of marriage, there’s plenty of natural oil flowing to help us overlook each other’s faults. All our moving parts (our quirks and unique differences) just work together—even creating joy, happiness, and great expectations for the future.

Once the oil runs low, however, all we can see is each other’s faults and imperfections. At best, married life becomes a struggle. At worst, it comes to a grinding halt. That annoying, fault-filled person lying next to you is the same one you fell in love with. But over time, our fig leaves wear thin, and we start seeing each other the way we’ve always been—flawed. 

So are you rubbing each other the wrong way, creating friction that makes a breakdown inevitable? Most of us check our car’s engine oil regularly because we value our automobile and fear the price of letting it run out. Well, your marriage is much more valuable than your car (or should be). 

Over time, our fig leaves wear thin, and we start seeing each other the way we’ve always been—flawed. 

Like I said before, the oil of God’s presence is key to the success of your marriage, and it’s available free of charge 24/7 to all of us who recognize Him as a necessity. You can stop your marriage from coming to a screeching halt. Pouring in fresh oil will give your relationship new life and stoke the motivation to go higher and fulfill God’s purpose as a couple. But just like your car, you must be aware and intentional about giving your marriage the regular maintenance it needs. 

Schedule maintenance

  1. Recognize your need for God’s presence. Just think about how quick you are to dwell on your mate’s faults and how easily they annoy you. That’s a sure sign you need a fresh oil change. 
  2. On purpose, fill your marriage with God’s anointing. Set aside time to thank and praise Him for who He is and for your mate. You can do this alone or together. Suddenly, the oil will start flowing, and it won’t be long before the honeymoon returns. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it. 
  3. Put God first by praying together and attending a corporate gatheringwhere others value God’s oil in their lives. There’s just something special about getting filled with His presence corporately. 
  4. Keep a fresh supply on hand. Again, like your car, your marriage can die from friction. Fortunately, God’s oil is free and available. All you have to do is open up your heart and your marriage and invite Him in. 

With God’s presence, nothing will be impossible for your marriage to overcome or accomplish. So why not add it today? It’s never too late to experience a revival in your relationship. In fact, 2022 could be your best year ever! Your children and everyone else in your sphere of influence will be blessed by it!…

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woman sleeping on rooftop

Awaken the superhero in you

January 22, 2022 Gaspar Anastasi
0 Comment
Faith, Marriage, Success & victory

A healthy spirit enables us to communicate with God and one another. Spiritually healthy couples can meet each other through their spirit being—not just their emotions and physical body. Your human spirit, when healthy and fully awake, connects with your mate and demonstrates empathy for them.

marriage counseling/coaching

Let Breaking Free Counseling help you get your marriage back on track! Call (239)244-3912 or visit our website.

That means your spirit can identify with your mate’s deep inner needs and actually feels what they feel. We become aware of our mate’s emotions beyond just our intellect. Being spiritually awake gives us the ability to know what he or she needs and how to meet the need without having to guess. Couples that are spiritually healthy can discern when their mate needs a hug; when they need to be left alone; and when it’s important to reach out and invade their space. 

Sleeping spirits and hurting hearts

Couples with slumbering spirits are relegated to guessing what’s right to do and what’s not. Most of the time, they miss prime opportunities to communicate the kind of love for each other that will keep them together. The inability to connect with each other’s spirit (where true life and love stem from), is one of the major causes of divorce. 

A husband’s slumbering spirit makes him selfish and self-centered, unable to connect with God and his mate as well. This husband thinks all is well, and he doesn’t understand why his wife is shutting down emotionally. He is disconnected from her heart because he is asleep spiritually. 

A wife whose spirit is asleep might not recognize when her husband needs a word of encouragement instead of judgment. Therefore, she misses her opportunity to connect her love to his. We pay a lot of attention to the physical and emotional parts of us but very little to the spiritual. 

Life that makes us one

Proverbs 4:23 says “Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.”

“Life” in this scripture refers to the God-kind of life that, when released in and through us, will bring the two of you into true oneness. As husband and wife, you will never reach true oneness unless you live your marriage out of a healthy spirit. True oneness is a place of joy, peace and fulfillment in your marriage. You can tell your spirit is slumbering when your love for one another is stale, stuck in the past or the romance/passion is gone. 

Thankfully, there is something you both can do to revitalize your marriage and protect it from collapsing: Wake up your spirit. Here are a few suggestions. 

How to awaken your spirit

1).     Get out of denial and recognize that you need a new fire for your mate lit in your heart. 

2).     Recognize that you are a spirit, have a soul and live in a body. Ask God to forgive you for not nurturing your spirit. You nurture your spirit by feeding it the word of God and watching what enters your ear and eye gates. 

3).     Let your mate know that you desire a closer relationship with them. And whether they do or not, you will pursue oneness with your whole heart. That’s when your faith in God will be released in and through your spirit to remove the mountains of indifference and slumber in your spirit. 

4).     Don’t give up. God’s life will be pumped into your spirit as you reconnect with His Spirit through His word. You will begin to discern your mate’s needs and navigate through their mood swings. You’ll begin to meet them right where they are and connect with their hearts. 

It won’t be long before your husband or wife is inspired to awaken their slumbering spirit. I will give you more tips in my next blog. God bless you and thank you for reading our blogs. I hope they are helpful. If they are, I would like to hear from you.

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Make room for new

Make room for new!

January 8, 2022 Gaspar Anastasi
0 Comment
Getting past the past, Making positive change, Marriage

As you’ve heard me (Gaspar) say before, marriage requires a lot of adjustments. If you’re not aware or prepared for change, you could get stuck in a holding pattern and not growing. Maybe, like many couples, you think the honeymoon will last forever. If you’re newly married and “didn’t get the memo”— it won’t. For those of us who have been married more than a year, this is not news.

The key to more and better 

If you’re not prepared for change, you will likely fail and drop out of the marriage. Make room for the new! That’s the key to success when faced with continual change. Making room for the new is also necessary for growth, peace and joy in your marriage. 

Now that doesn’t mean that what you two had before was wrong or bad. But for God to give you something better, you have to make room for better. Getting to know each other’s strengths and weaknesses helps to develop a deeper, more lasting love. Though that might be uncomfortable at times—let’s be real, all the time—the dividends will far surpass the price you pay. 

As I always say, the best is yet to come. Holding on to yesterday’s victories and blessings will hinder God from releasing greater ones. So how do you make room for the new in your marriage? I’m glad you asked. 

Old made new

Let Breaking Free Counseling help you get your marriage back on track! Call (239)244-3912 or visit our website.

Where growth ends, death begins

1. You need what I call a “holy dissatisfaction”. That means you are grateful for all the victories you have won and the love and respect that you have for one another—but you are not satisfied. Thankful, yes! But satisfied? No, because you know there is more. God has much more for you both, but He can’t bring it if you are not expecting anything better. Satisfaction with the status quo is often the greatest hinderance to receiving the new and better. 

2. Ask God to give you a greater passion for growth. Many of us have stopped growing in our love for God, and that fact is reflected in our love for our mate. Ask forgiveness for your indifference and apathy. When we—and therefore, our marriage—stop growing, then the opposite will happen. Our union will start dying. 

Could it be that, even though you have had some really good times together, your marriage is actually dying? There is so much more God wants for your marriage! He brought you together as a couple so that you could experience greater fruitfulness in life than you could individually. Often,  what our Father wants for us is more than we want or expect for ourselves!  

Ask your wife (just kidding)

3. Talk to your mate. Discover the ideas, dreams and thoughts God has given him or her for this next season of life. You might be surprised at how many new things God has placed in their heart that never get revealed because you don’t open yourselves up to each other. Sometimes we are afraid to rock the boat. Other times, we fear that our mate will think we “lost it”. 

Sometimes couples get stuck trying to recreate the honeymoon phase, when that was only the starting gate—not the finish line. It’s time we wake up to the great, big, wonderful God who wants the best for our marriage. And make room for the new He has in store. It can never happen until we let go of the old. 

What blessings from yesterday do you still hold on to? You see, that’s where the new must start: In your heart. Don’t chase the blessing; start chasing after God. Yes, make room in your heart for the new. But trying to change your mate won’t make it happen. Stay focused on you, and ask God to help you let go of the good so He can give you better. Your destiny awaits. 

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