Years ago when I was into reading women’s magazines, there was a monthly article called “Can This Marriage Be Saved?” I wasn’t a Christian at the time and didn’t realize that everything I needed to know about life and marriage could be found in the Bible. 

I came to Christ when Gaspar and I separated after five long, painful years of arguing and making each other absolutely miserable. That’s when I turned to the Word of God to make sense of my life.

The first time I opened the Bible, my eyes fell on Hebrews 13:5: “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.” I had felt so alone and abandoned, but suddenly it was like God was speaking directly to me…. I didn’t need magazine articles anymore. I had the God of the Universe talking to me. 

That was the beginning of the Lord healing my heart, changing me from the inside out, and giving me the faith to believe for the restoration of my marriage. I was blessed to find a good church where I was loved and nurtured in the Word, and surrounded by sisters-in-Christ who prayed for and encouraged me. 

I didn’t need magazine articles anymore. I had the God of the Universe talking to me.

What every marriage needs most

Your partner as top priority

Have you ever had a plant that you accidently ignored and forgot to water? Before long it shriveled up and died. The same thing can happen to a marriage. From my own experience and years of counseling hurting couples, I see many marriages falter because we put our relationship on the back burner. With all the demands of life, it’s all too easy to forget that our marriage needs care and nurturing to thrive.

Yours may be in a bad place right now because of neglect. To save or revive your marriage, you need to make your partner your top priority and give them some much-needed attention. The ingredients for a healthy, thriving marriage are time, touch, attention, appreciation, and affirmation. Whether your marriage is totally withered or barely breathing, it can be revived and restored!

A date night on the calendar

When couples are married for a while, they begin to take each other for granted. They lose touch with their partner, and their connection is broken. So the first step (and I’ve said this in more than a few blogs) is to schedule a regular date night. And don’t let anything get in the way of keeping it. When you do this, it speaks volumes. It says that your marriage is a priority. Having a regular date night will help you to reconnect again.

Reconnecting takes time and effort. We give the couples in our Sacred Marriage group questions to talk about on their date night. They all agree that the questions stir up conversation that helps them feel more connected. 

Positive vibes in the heart

Another hinderance in marriage is focusing on all our partner’s negative points. It’s an easy habit to fall into, and it consumes our thinking, which affects our attitude and actions. 

Healthy marriages thrive because the couples give more attention to praise and appreciation. Sharing words of affirmation does wonders.When something good happens, take notice and tell your spouse. It doesn’t have to be huge; the point is to change how you relate to each other. Changing the way we think changes the way we feel, which changes the way we act.

Changing the way we think changes the way we feel, which changes the way we act.

Outreach for help

When we marry, no one tells us how to make it work. No one teaches us how to be a good husband or wife. It’s no wonder most couples just muddle through until they hit a brick wall. Every marriage can use some help navigating rough patches. Thank God for Pastors, counselors, and marriage coaches. Their help can guide you through issues that seem insurmountable. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help. 

Saving a marriage takes a lot of unconditional love, patience, forgiveness, patience, time, patience, dying to self, patience, kindness, and a big dose of patience. 

Up-reach to God

Even if your spouse has left or shows no interest in making things better, what’s stopping you from working on yourself? You become the person and spouse God wants you to be! When someone asks me, “Can I save my marriage alone?” I tell them, “You aren’t alone. God is with you and He’s on your side, fighting for your marriage.” When you change, everything around you will change. Working on who God created you to be can change your marriage. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Did I mention patience?

Saving a marriage takes a lot of unconditional love, patience, forgiveness, patience, time, patience, dying to self, patience, kindness, and a big dose of patience. You can’t do it in your own strength but, with God, all things are possible. 

As you’re standing and believing for your marriage, don’t be discouraged. Change doesn’t happen overnight. Know that all the good seeds you’re planting will take time to sprout. Be patient and hold on to Galatians 6:9, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

God is speaking directly to you. Do you hear Him?

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