Winning Over Rejection, Part 2

Last week in Part 1, I told my story of rejection. If you would like to read it, go to

God is the only one Who can heal a wounded heart. Scripture tells us that Jesus came to bind up the broken-hearted. So, why was I still so wounded and broken if I had Jesus in my life?

40 years ago, emotional healing was rarely spoken of. Somehow, I came across a book by John and Paula Sandford, pioneers on the subject of inner healing. Being the mess I was, it spoke to my heart, and we started our quest to learn more.

Thus began our Prayer Counseling Ministry–today known as Stop Hurting Start Healing. It’s my number one solution for emotional healing. To have a trained prayer minister guide you through painful issues from the past is invaluable. Often the journey takes you along such a dark and dismal path that, without help, many would give up.

Inner Vows

When people reject you, without realizing it, you feel betrayed by God. Where was He in my pain? you ask. Of course, Satan uses that opportunity to plant seeds of deception in your heart about yourself, about others and especially about God.

Growing up with an abusive mom, I believed I was bad; I couldn’t be any good, for her to treat me the way she did. I thought God must not love me either to let me hurt like this.

Like I mentioned last week, I can remember lying in bed thinking, “When I grow up no one is ever going to hurt me, or tell me what to do again.” I had no idea I was making a vow that would profoundly affect my life.

God is the only one Who can heal a wounded heart. Scripture tells us that Jesus came to bind up the broken-hearted. So, why was I still so wounded and broken if I had Jesus in my life?

You may not even realize that you’ve made vows, but think back to all the times you said, “I’ll never do this…” or “I’ll never do that….”

We make vows because we think we can protect ourselves from future hurt. In actuality, these inner vows harden our hearts to the point that we can never fully give or receive love. Can you relate to this?

Maybe it wasn’t a parent who hurt you. Maybe it was a failed marriage, and you vowed you’d never trust again or marry again or let anyone get close to you. Maybe as a teen you were betrayed by a group of girls and vowed never to trust females.

Lies are always at the root of such inner vows, forming ungodly beliefs. Every one of us holds some beliefs that aren’t true. When these beliefs are contrary to God’s Truth, we call them “ungodly beliefs.” They are lies we believe about ourselves, others and God. They affect our entire lives: Every relationship we have; every decision we make; how we act and react. Our very destiny.

Renounce the Lies

Hurt, rejection, negative experiences and trauma create ungodly beliefs in us. The child whose father walks out on his family can grow up believing: “I’m not important or Dad wouldn’t have left… People will always fail me.”

Being made fun of, called names by siblings or peers, being criticized by a teacher or authority figure—all these can form the ungodly beliefs: “No one will ever want me…I’m fat, I’m stupid…I’ll never amount to anything.” These ungodly beliefs follow us right into adulthood and become assignments against us.

In the healing process, it’s very important to renounce these lies and break agreement with them. By believing lies, you forge an alliance with the enemy, giving him easy access to your life.


After renouncing satan’s lies, it’s even more important to come into agreement with what God says about you.

1). Start by forgiving those that contributed to forming the ungodly belief in you.

2). Ask God to forgive you for believing a lie and for judging those who hurt you. Pray and break the power of the lies from your life.

3). Find scripture that speaks Truth to these areas. This is the last and most important step to forgiving. Read those verses daily. Meditate on them. Memorize them until your mind becomes renewed with the Truth. Stick with it. Renewing your mind takes time.

Often, that’s why people don’t maintain their healing. Getting prayer is just one part of it. The most important part is renewing our mind with God’s Word.

Get to Know the Healer

The next strategy I would give is to develop intimacy with the Lord. I can hear some of you saying, “Yeah, I know that already.” But really, spend time in His Word, the Bible, daily. Hear what He has to say to you through His word. Then, pray bringing Him your needs. Jealously guard this devotional time. Otherwise, other things will take its place.

Attend a good Bible-believing church where you can receive strength and support for your journey, a place where the uncompromised Word of God is taught.

Identify with the Cross

Let me explain what I mean by identifying with the cross. Often we have a very limited concept of the Cross. We know that Jesus died on the Cross for our sin. He took our place and, when we accept Him as our Savior and Lord, when we die we go to Heaven. Yes, that’s true, but it doesn’t end there. That’s only one aspect of the Cross.

To identify with the Cross is to understand one thing: Everything about the “old me” can and should die there. The Cross wasn’t just for Jesus. The Cross is where we go daily to execute whatever needs to die in our lives.

When Jesus hung on the Cross He said, “It is finished.” It’s at the Cross that all the power Satan had over us is broken. When you take what you’re still struggling with to the Cross, it will be finished in your life, too. Keep in mind that when you bring something to the cross, everything isn’t automatically fixed.

Let’s say you fly into a rage, start throwing things and kick over the trash can. All of a sudden you catch yourself and run to the cross. “Lord, help me. Forgive me for this anger. Cleanse me.” God says, “Of course you’re forgiven.” What a relief! But guess what? There’s still garbage and broken stuff all over the place. Who has to clean it up? You do! But God gives you the grace and the strength to do it. One by one you pick up the pieces. It’s all a part of identifying with the Cross. It’s finished the moment you take it there, the rest is clean-up.

You have to take it there, and let it die. Often that’s where we get discouraged, because we think it isn’t working. Satan is whispering in your ear, “I’m back. You’re not free. This doesn’t work.” He wants to scare you into giving up.

Keep Your Eyes on Jesus

Stop looking at the junk and look at Jesus! He set us free, to live free forever. Not just free from sin, but free from rejection, free from a wounded spirit, free from depression, self-hatred, anger, and the list goes on and on.

Galatians 5:1 tells us: “Therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. “

So when Satan comes back with feelings of rejection, pain, bad memories, tell him where to go. Tell him: “Shut up, in Jesus’ name. You’re a liar! I am crucified with Christ, I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. Rejection doesn’t have a hold on me anymore. It’s nailed to the Cross. It died there.

Remember, healing is yours. Christ set you free. Keep standing firm!


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