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Think about such things


Finally, brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things. (Philippians 4:8)

While reading this verse the other day, I (Michele) sensed the Holy Spirit whisper that this command is especially important in marriage.

Thousands of thoughts enter our minds every day. Unfortunately, most are negative. From the time we’re born, the enemy relentlessly bombards us with ungodly thoughts and hurtful experiences that attack our character, our ability, our relationships and our lives in general. His goal is to form a false identity in us that we’re worthless, insecure, defensive and angry. That’s not who God created us to be.

Dwell on the good

God is love and He created us to be loving, kind, patient, secure. We have to choose every day to dwell on what God says about us, our spouse, our marriage… and cast down the rest.

We have to, on purpose, notice and appreciate the good things our spouse brings into our life. When we get into the habit of doing that, it becomes easier to overlook the negative. I know it sounds simplistic but, honestly, by changing your thoughts and the way you see things, you can change your life and your marriage. 

We have to choose every day to dwell on what God says about us, our spouse, our marriage… and cast down the rest.


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Our brain is an amazing organ. It likes patterns and connecting similar thoughts. When you focus on positive qualities in your spouse, your brain searches for more positive things to attach to the first thought. Likewise, if you focus on something negative, your brain begins to dig up more negative thoughts to build a story upon.

Choose your narrative

Every marriage has two stories.

Story one: A wife sees her husband as a workaholic who pays her little attention. He’s in his own little world, doesn’t communicate, and is distracted when she talks to him.

Story two: Same wife, but in this story she sees her husband as a hard worker, a good provider for his family, a caring father, a man who loves the Lord.

When a wife lives from the first story, she’s miserable, depressed and feels unloved. She thinks, “If he would just change and pay more attention to me, we’d have a better marriage and I’d be happy.” When you think like that, your actions toward your spouse are probably cold and distant.

But, when you live out of story two, you see your spouse as the good man he is. You’re grateful for his good qualities and act loving, patient and supportive of him.

Change your thoughts

We can’t change our spouse or anyone else, for that matter. We can only change ourselves by changing our thinking. Our thinking affects how we feel about our spouse, and our feelings affect how we treat our spouse. Surprisingly, when we change, those around us begin to change.

Let me assure you that every need your spouse isn’t fulfilling, Jesus will.

Our first thought is usually, “But what about me?” Let me assure you that every need your spouse isn’t fulfilling, Jesus will. He’ll pour into you everything you need, plus everything you need to love your spouse unconditionally.

Focusing on the positive qualities in each other is a discipline we all need to develop. Just because a negative thought enters your mind doesn’t mean you have to agree with it and let it affect you. Reject it as fast as it came and replace it with something that is “…noble, pure, lovely, admirable, praiseworthy….” It’s the positive ways we speak and act toward each other daily that keep our marriages strong and loving.


We love to hear from you! Why not take a moment to comment below?

4 Responses to “Think about such things

  • Cindy Moller Rosa
    1 year ago

    Thankyou Michele for this encouragement. I seem to have to see the good and Pray away the angry broken rejected man’s past, every moment of the day, I know now why God put my husband, Anthony joseph Rosa in my path or you asked me just that if I would love his broken man, its been very difficult at times with the words that come out of his mouth, and then, as I pray against the enemies lies I ask God to heal his heart and remove the past teaching, false teachings and covenants he had made and renew his mind to the mind of Jesus .I ask father God to love his son, more than I could ever love him. CR

  • Cindy Moller Rosa
    1 year ago

    Thankyou Michele for this encouragement. I seem to have to see the good and Pray away the angry broken rejected man’s past, every moment of the day, I know now why God put my husband, Anthony joseph Rosa in my path and asked me if I would love his broken man, its been very difficult at times with the words that come out of his mouth, and then, as I pray against the enemies lies I ask God to heal his heart and remove the past teaching, false teachings and covenants he had made and renew his mind to the mind of Jesus .I ask father God to love his son, more than I could ever love him. CR

  • Michele
    1 year ago

    Dear Cindy,
    I’m so glad the blog was an encouragement to you. I know how difficult it is believing for a spouse that isn’t serving the Lord. Keep pressing into the Holy Spirit. Let Him build you up, guide and help you. The Father will give you strength and honor your faith. When I was in a position much like yours the Lord told me that Love was the greatest weapon…..Love never fails.

    Blessings,
    Michele

  • I could not agree more! Being an optimist has never steered me wrong!!! While Clyde and I were sad that we ever went our separate ways after high school and both wound up in heart wrenching, failing marriages for that time apart, we chose to focus on the fact that it has made us appreciate each other all the more… this has made all the difference.

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