It takes courage.

Marriage isn’t for the faint of heart. It requires two people to become one, and that takes a lot of hard work and commitment. Most of us were never taught line by line, principal by principal, how to live a happy and fulfilled marriage. Someone taught you how to ride a bicycle… how to drive a car…. operate a computer…. But very few of us learned how to live a happy, successful marriage.

Marriage isn’t for the faint of heart.

No perfect spouse

Nobody told us to expect trouble either—except God. Through the Apostle Paul, He warned, “Nevertheless [the married] will have trouble in the flesh” (1 Cor.7:28). We all have the idea that, once we find the perfect mate who fills our every need, we will live the dream! Of course, it doesn’t take long to realize that isn’t true at all! 

The major problem stems from our faulty perception of the perfect mate. If you’re like me, you wanted somebody that loves the same things you love, does the same things you do, reacts the same way you react… so forth and so on. In truth, God puts us together with a partner opposite of ourselves. You have heard the old saying that opposites attract. Boy, is that true! 

But we don’t discover that fact right away. We call it the honeymoon stage—when our eyes are blinded to all our mate’s imperfections. During this period, our husband/wife can do no wrong in our eyes. It’s funny how what starts as little bumps in the road later grow into huge mountains! Little bumps like snoring, picking our teeth, leaving our clothes on the floor, forgetting to shower…. You get the picture. 

Marriage is more about God fulfilling His plan in your life than it is about your happiness.

God’s master plan

Every couple experiences trouble in the flesh—and God designed it that way. Why? So that we would see our need for Him. Every married couple eventually comes to realize that a healthy, successful union will take more of God and less of us… and a lot of hard work. Marriage is God’s design. His plan is to mature us as His children and to teach us along the way what true happiness and fulfillment is. All things are possible with God (Matt. 19:26). 

Unfortunately, too many people bail out of their marriage after the honeymoon stage is over and, therefore, never truly grow in their walk with God. They miss out on discovering who God is and who they really are. 

Change requires a backbone

It takes courage to allow God to change us. Yet that is the journey every Christian walks every day. It is a journey of transforming into the image of Jesus. Marriage is more about God fulfilling His plan in our lives than it is about our happiness. In reality, the kind of happiness most of us seek is self-centered and selfish. As long as the relationship meets our every need and desire and doesn’t require us to change, we’re good with it! True happiness involves working through all our intricacies, dying to self and living for God.

Self-centered happiness won’t last because your mate is wired differently from you. You were brought up differently, given different values and beliefs; and that’s the way God planned it. It takes courage to hang in there and let Him blend us together. It calls for a continued willingness to die to our own desires and put our marriage first—before ourselves.

No experience in life works more effectively to build godly character than marriage.

The character builder

No experience in life works more effectively to build godly character than marriage. If you play it safe and stay single, you will only grow so much. Or you can take the challenge, draw on God’s courage and grow exponentially in your walk with Him. 

Take an orange tree, put it in a small pot and bring it to New York where temperatures get well below freezing. Even if you keep it in your house, it will only grow so much because it’s not in its proper environment. But plant it outdoors in Florida, take care of it and you will have bushels full of oranges every year. The same is true with your life.

Are you planted in the right environment to grow the way God intended? Do you have the courage to get married, stay married and work at your marriage with God’s help? If so, you’re in a good position to reach the spiritual destiny God has for you. Growth takes courage.

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