Marriage pushes you into your destiny
I am a better pastor because of my marriage. As discussed in past blogs, we tend to marry our opposite. Michele and I are so different that, early in our marriage, we both thought we had missed God and married the wrong person. In fact, the reverse was true. We couldn’t have known it then but, looking back, both she and I see how we have grown in the Lord by staying together. Our marriage has made us better people.
Our marriage has made us better people.
Lessons learned
I would have never been the kind of pastor I am today if I hadn’t learned to be patient and understanding with my wife. I learned empathy by putting myself in her place and seeking to understand her needs. Marriage made me a good listener, helped me give good, godly counsel and show compassion.
It didn’t look like it at first, but God had a destiny for us individually and as a team. We were pushed into our destiny. Because we were so very different, we each needed to change just to make our marriage successful and pleasing to God.
So be encouraged. The thing you are struggling with today could very well be God pushing you into your destiny as a couple. Left to yourself, shifting your personality and outlook on life would never happen. You would be stuck in a prison seeing yourself, your mate, and life itself through your own limited understanding.
Pushing is necessary. We get pushed into making right choices; pushed into surrounding ourselves with right people; and pushed into letting go of the wrong people (those no longer called to walk with us into our destiny).
Be encouraged. The thing you are struggling with today could very well be God pushing you into your destiny.
God’s creativity at work
Marriage is unique because It provides an atmosphere for God’s designs and plans to be accomplished in both your and your mate’s lives. Because of Michele’s and my differences, I recognized the value of reflecting and developing patience. For example, we were very dissimilar when it came to walking by faith and not by sight. Once I believe God is in something, I go for it immediately. Michele, on the other hand, is willing to wait as long as it takes for it to come to pass.
We learned that sometimes she was right, and sometimes I was right. We got pushed into trusting God more and more. Proverbs 3:5 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding”. I have been pushed into trusting the Lord so much more than I ever have. Remember God is your designer and He will push you throughout life to have you conformed to the destiny he has planned for you from the beginning of time.
For we are His workmanship [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus [reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used] for good works, which God prepared [for us] beforehand [taking paths which He set], so that we would walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us].
Ephesians 2:10, AMP
Ephesians. 2:10 says “We are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God has prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” Instead of getting angry and bitter because you’re being forced to change because of your mate’s differences, thank the Lord for using those moments to push you into your God-given destiny.
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I appreciate this specific blog. I have been facing some challenges within my new marriage. So much so that I thought divorce was inevitable. This blog gives me such encouragement and hope for my marriage. Thank you so much for sharing this.
This blog is comforting and encouraging. In all the years I have been married, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve questioned, “are we really right for each other?”
Growing in my faith, and in my walk with Christ, I’ve come to realize that marriage and life itself is not easy, and that’s ok. When our differences really started to come to the surface, it became challenging. “Why can’t he just understand me?” or “see things the way I do?”
Like I never needed to change my perspective. Looking back, his strength was where I was weak, and my strength supported him in his time of weakness. Even after all these years, we’re still learning eachother and especially now after being born again and seeing things so differently than I use to. I’m a whole new me. It’s like falling in love all over again, but putting Jesus at the center. How we speak to one another, how we treat one another, even how we parent together, all has a higher standard to go by. It may be challenging, but the digging deeper into ourselves and truly humbling ourselves not only toward eachother, but especially to our Father in heaven. Asking Him to search in me, reveal to me, as an individual, what my part is to strengthen my marriage and get beyond my fleshly, soulish desires, to have a marriage that Glorifies God. I can see a change, whether big or small, but I see it. I’m grateful for His hand in my relationship with my husband and even the challenges that we face.
I know all things will work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.