Beautiful, glorious frustration
Yep, love is blind
Why is it that the very things we find so cute and endearing about someone we’re dating drive us up a wall once we say “I do?” I truly admired my future husband’s generous, I’ll-give-you-the-shirt-off-my-back character. People were always more important to him than things, and it amazed me how easily he gave. It was sweet until…
We got married, and he started giving away my things too!
We got married, and he started giving away my things too! Things like my favorite Bible… the last kitten from the litter (one I wanted to keep)…. His answer always went something like… “But, Babe, you’ve got other Bibles, and you have mama cat. They fell in love with that kitten.”
After several years of this, I’d tease him on my way out to run errands: “We have 3 children, and I expect to find 3 when I get back. Do not give one away.” That was a lot of years ago and we laugh about it today, but way back then it was frustrating. (I’m sure my husband has more than his share of stories about how I drove him crazy, but this is my blog!)
God’s plan and our annoyance
Have you ever wondered why opposites attract? Why are we so different? Why couldn’t we spot this problem when we were dating? Does God get a chuckle out of putting such contrary personalities together?
It took me many years to realize that God, in His infinite wisdom, had a plan and purpose for pairing up opposites like us. He knew that our differences could be used as a tool to chip off each other’s rough edges; a tool to change and mature us into something better than we were… The people He created us to be.
Let’s face it, left to ourselves, we all think we’re just fine the way we are. It’s our mate that has issues and needs to change. So God uses marriage to help us work out our salvation—to show us what’s inside us that needs to go.
There’s good in the bad and ugly
Did you ever notice how your spouse has a way of bringing out the worst in you? They push all the right buttons that turn you into the ugliest version of yourself.
Marriage is such a deeply intimate relationship that our spouse sees and exposes the junk in us, the parts we work hard to keep hidden from everyone else. Marriage has a way of confronting our weaknesses, our emotional immaturity and transforming us in a way nothing else can. And we sure don’t appreciate that!
Marriage has a way of confronting our weaknesses, our emotional immaturity and transforming us in a way nothing else can.
To receive all that God intended from marriage, we must be transparent and honest with Him, ourselves and our mate. We must give up our unrealistic expectations; set aside hurts and disappointments; crucify ugly attitudes, selfish and self-centered actions. God never intended marriage to be easy, but He did intend our differences and unmet needs to drive us closer to Him.
Oh, and to that man I married 56 years ago, I say “Thank you, Honey, for helping God chip away my rough edges.”
We love to hear from you! Why not take a moment to comment below?
Previous Post
Next Post
THANK YOU ANASTAZI AND MICHELLE FOR THE WONDERFUL ACCOUNTS. TRULY, OUR GOD NEEDS OUR MOST NEEDED PILL THAT CAN CORRECT US. FRANKLY, AFTER MY FAILURE WITH MY FIRST DATE, I ENCOUNTERED THE YOUNG ANGEL, FROM A FRIEND WHO HAD INVITED HER, AND I WAS TOUCHED BEYOND MY IMAGINATION. THE GREAT GULF, LINKED SUCCESSFULLY THE UNFILLABLE SPACE IN MY IMAGINATION. AFTER THE SHORTEST ENGAGEMENT, WE WERE MARRIED WITH HER SEE….MED UNWILLING VOWS!! OUR FRIENDS SAW IT, BUT IT TURNED OUT CREEPED BY THE RELATIONS THAT FOLLOWED.
WE ARE NOW THIRTY SEVEN (37) YEARS MARRIED, BLESSED WITH ONE DAUGHTER AND FOUR SONS. THE ROUGH EDGES, HAVE BEEN TRIMMED VERY WELL. SHE EVEN CHANGED ME, THAT I RECEIVED THE LORD’S SALVATION AFTER HER OWN AND BAPTISM WITH A SPACE OF ONE MONTH. SHE BROUGHT CHRIST INTO MY HEART AT AN ADVANCED AGE, I SEEMED AS A PROFESSOR, TO HAVE KNOWN A LOT, BUT BORN IN RELIGIOUS HOME, WITH BORN-AGAIN PARENTS, HAD TAKEN IT WRONG, BECAUSE OF POLITICAL LINKS TO MISSIONARIES AND COLONIAL POWER THAT CREATED THE WORST RELATIONS BETWEEN THE PEOPLE OF ONE LANGUAGE, ONE TRADITIONAL BELIEF, EVEN STRATIFIED IN ECONOMIC SOCIAL STRATA, AND COLONIALISTS AND RELIGIOUS LEADERS, TURNED THE SOCIAL STRATA AS TRIBES, AND THIS RESULTED IN GENOCIDE, WITH BLESSINGS OF COLONIAL POWER BEING , AT ITS END AT FREEDOM EDGE.
BUT KNOWLEDGE OF CHRIST, AND HIS LOVE, LIFE, SACRIFICE, AND LIFE, TRUTH, AND THE RIGHT WAY, I WAS LED IN THE RIGHT NARROW WAY, AND I COULD SEE THE TRUTH, LOVE, AND COMPLETION OF MY MISSING RELATIONS TO MY DARLING, WITH SAVIOUR KNOWLEDGE, AND ENTHRONING IN MY HEART!!
MY POLITICAL KNOWLEDGE, TURNED TRUE, POSITIONED WELL IN NEW EMERGING SOCIETY, I DECIDED TO BELONG TO THE TRUE-FRIEND OF PEOPLE, THE HUMBLE, THE LOVING, THE MERCIFUL AND THE FRIEND OF ALL PEOPLE, TRIBES, NATIONALS AND RACES. THE TRUTH , THE LOVE, AND THE RIGHT WAY, MADE ME, CHOOSE WELL, AND MADE ME, DECIDE TO EVANGELISE USING MY PERSONAL DELIVERANCE FROM THE LOST, INTO THE LIVING SONS/DAUGHTERS OF THE KINGDOM OF GOD. MY WITNESS IS THAT I WAS LED INTO SALVATION, BY MY WIFE WHO BROUGHT CHRIST TO MY HOME, AND THE WORD OF GOD SAYS SO, IN CORINTHIANS, THAT THE HUSBAND OR THE WIFE MAY TAKE AND LEAD ONE TO SALVATION. IT HAPPENED TO ME.
THUS, THE SHARP ROUGH MANY EDGES WERE FILED, OR CUT OFF, AND I WAS REFINED INTO AN INSTRUMENT OF THE KINGDOM.
WE STARTED A MINISTRY TO BUILD THE KINGDOM, AND WE COMPLETE EACH OTHER IN OUR WITNESSES. THE BLESSINGS OF THE LORD, MADE THIS OUT OF ME/HER.
MAY THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE BROTHER AND SISTER, BE TREATED SOFTLY, THEY WILL WEAR OFF BY HIS GRACE. THANK BISHOP ANASTAZI AND MICHELLE FOR MAKING ME SHARE MY HEART.
Guilty!
I still owe Clyde a couple handmade quilts I made him and then gave away to friends while he wasn’t home…
but we were going to Florida… I didn’t think that he would need all those extra warm blankets.
Says the spouse who turns the AC down to 66 degrees every night since we have been in Florida.
Happy Anniversary! Thanks for your words of wisdom! You truly have a gift with words!
“We have 3 children, and I expect to find 3 when I get back.“ 😂🤣😂😂
“I’m sure my husband has more than his share of stories about how I drove him crazy, but this is my blog!” 🤣😂🤣😂
Thank you for keeping it real Pastor Michelle. It is interesting how we can look back and laugh at our own emotional immaturity in marriage. What triggered us and what was so frustrating for us at the time, today we hardly lift an eyebrow for. No today we just laugh at ourselves, apologize if needed and move on. 🌹