Why the storm won‘t win

Are you in a difficult place in your marriage? Don’t think that you’re alone. Every marriage goes through hard, dry times. You may feel stuck and distant from your spouse, arguing more than communicating. Sometimes it’s just a passing season of busyness and misunderstanding. Other times, it can span years.

How do you stay strong and weather bad times when everything in you wants to give up? When all hope is lost? When you feel your spouse has said and done hurtful things and doesn’t even want to make it better? Here are a few suggestions we hope you’ll find helpful. 

How to keep standing

1. Press into God. This is first and most important. You need Him now more than ever. Seek time with Him daily. Read your Bible, fill your mind with His truths. Talk to Him. When your heart hurts and anger rises, cry out to Him. 

2. Know your value. Your value is found in Him and Him alone—not anything your spouse says or does. Receive and rest in His love for you. God sees what you’re going through, and your marriage is important to Him. (Psalm 59:9-10 “You are my strength, I watch for You, God my fortress, my God on whom I can rely….”)

You are my strength, I watch for You, God my fortress, my God on whom I can rely…

Psalm 59:9-10

3. Surround yourself with mature Christians who will encourage and pray for you. Be very careful not to disparage your spouse. Your words have power and will literally bring results. Now it’s only human to want people’s compassion. But, honestly, human compassion won’t help you or your marriage. It’s much better to seek godly counsel from your Pastor or a Christian marriage counselor or coach. Ask your spouse if they would be willing to go with you. Even if they choose not to, go alone. You’ll receive godly counsel and learn some helpful tools.

4. Focus on the positive. And try with all your might to ignore the negative. I can hear you saying, “But that’s the problem. There isn’t any positive.” Think back to the traits that drew you to your husband/wife? Try to find something about your spouse to be grateful for every day—one small thing you can thank them for. And don’t be hurt if you don’t get a positive response. Just do it as unto the Lord. Thank God throughout the day for helping you and being by your side.

Only God can give you the strength to resist temptation—to stand and believe for healing in your marriage.

A word of caution

When you’re lonely and discouraged in your marriage, it’s easy to seek comfort from unhealthy pleasures. Satan loves to tempt us when we’re at our lowest point. An affair, pornography, drugs, alcohol, overeating, and overspending are all ungodly escapes that will only make matters worse. That’s why it’s so important to press into the Lord. Only God can give you the strength to resist temptation—to stand and believe for healing in your marriage.

Please know that our hearts and prayers are with you. If you need help individually or as a couple, please reach out to us at Breaking Free Wellness Center.

We would love to hear from you! If this blog has been a blessing to you, please comment below.