Whenever we bring up past hurts, continually rehearse our failures and agonize over things we should have done but didn’t, we’re tying ourselves to our past. We’re also assuring that our present and future won’t be much different. So, in reality, our past isn’t the past.
We spend so much energy trying to get people to sympathize with us and understand why we are where we are today. We use our past to excuse why we can’t do better. We spend countless hours telling the story of our past, trying to convince ourselves and others that life could have been different if certain things never happened.
Speaking and thinking this way makes us our own worst enemy by binding us to the past. That, in turn, hinders our present and future. Fortunately, you can get released from the curse of the past.
During my 36 years as a Christian counselor, I have seen the following steps successfully unlock the prison gate for a person stuck in the past, freeing them to enter into God’s great destiny for their life. It’s not too late to get free from the torment of the past.
Step 1: Forgive yourself for your role in your past: wrong decisions and even thoughts and desires. We often deflect the full responsibility of our pain onto others. We can’t deal with the self-rejection and guilt that comes from admitting our part. Remember, “The truth will set you free. (John 8:32)“. Although this first step is difficult, the alternative is this: Your history will become your destiny.
Step 2: Forgive everyone who caused you pain and bad memories. It’s not enough just to forget them or not mention them again. They still hold a place in your heart, allowing Satan to keep you tied to the bad memories. You know you’ve forgiven them if hearing their name no longer triggers that uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Release the forgiveness God placed in you to them. Chords to the past will be broken and Satan’s assignment of tormenting you with past memories will disappear. It’s worth the effort!
Step 3: Make a conscious effort to stop bringing up your past. Scripture says that words have the power of life and death. Bringing up the past in some fashion releases a curse over your present and future. You may even be unaware that you do this. To stop it, consider asking someone close to you to point out when you bring up the past.
Step 4: Get free of shame and guilt. From time to time, we all feel guilt for things that happened in the past. Until you deal with this deep level of hurt it will undermine your faith to get free. Find someone who can pray for this deep healing. Left un-dealt with, shame and guilt will sabotage the first three steps.
I highly recommend the Stop Hurting Start Healing ministry to deal with deep inner hurt and shame. Go to StopHurtingStartHealing.com and start to take back your life from the enemy.
If you let it, history will repeat itself in your life. But with you and God…NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!